Thought about it, snce it’s near New Year’s.
In my opinion, exercising/training/stretching atleast once a week would be a good thing for most people.
Keep a journal. Every day just jot down how you’re feeling and what’s on your mind, what you plan to do/did. Its amazing how helpful this has been for me.
Don’t drink alcohol. It’s not good for you in any amount.
Make your bed as soon as you wake up.
I don’t know if the mental benefits are outweighed by not airing out your linen. might depend on the weather.
Why?
I work from home and tried to do this, but it’s easier to just wait until lunch. Once you’re in the habit though you won’t know how you ever didn’t do it before.
But I’m still in it!!
Never start nicotine
I’d also like to chip in that alcoholism is sneaky. Be careful with drinking
And honestly take it easy on weed. A little for fun is fine, but chronic heavy use can kick off schizophrenia and depersonalization disorder, and literally lower your IQ.
Yeah alcohol really sucks. It’s so embedded into society most people expect you to start drinking regularly as soon as you can. I think it’s getting better but still people are nowhere near as cautious about alcohol as they really should be it accounts for 10% of deaths worldwide, that is just mind boggling.
I had to avoid alcohol for a while because of a medication I was on and it drove me mad when people would press me after I said “I’m not drinking”. I think it makes people feel weird about their own alcohol use? But if they’re that self conscious, maybe they need to do some self reflection about whether their alcohol use is a problem.
A phrase I’ve been seeing more in recent years that’s a small thing that feels impactful is stuff that says “alcohol and other drugs”. It is a drug and needs to be treated with respect, and ideally caution
Does it really matter why you aren’t drinking? I tend to avoid asking questions like that especially immediately after I find out that is the case. No matter what reason someone has it won’t (or at least it shouldn’t) change there choice if I know.
That’s exactly my point, it’s a ridiculous question to ask. Like, there are so many bad outcomes to asking it.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future…
sunscreen…
would be…
it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists.
~ Baz
Which was written by Mary Schmich: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wear_Sunscreen
jokes on you buddy, I don’t go outside
I wear a sunhat everywhere in the summer. People seem amused by it but I’m 50 and have lovely skin.
Goals!!
This is my skincare routine; wash with Dove soap, put the original Nivea creme in the blue tin on as day lotion, pat dry. Just before you leave add sunscreen. I don’t use makeup beyond eyeliner and very occasionally lipstick. I barely had pimples as a young woman even.
Biased take but you can’t remove meditation and mindfulness from its traditions specific goals. I get they have side benefits but therapy acting like they invested god through spreading it is just watering down what could help so many people
Do you care to elaborate?
I’ve tried getting into both a few times, to the point of noticing some benefits, but I fall off the wagon bc everything I read about it quickly goes into religious territory.
Since it appears you dislike all religion I’m not sure my main point fits your tastes but I could say many of the various goals of Buddhist meditation such as realization emptiness of self or of phenomena, realization of impermanence, especially dhyana are all absent from whitewashed or medical meditation. I would say these can all be labeled as helpful but not necessarily religious goals but ontological.
To me this does two things, one it presents a false narrative of meditation by displacing it from its thousands of years of tradition. Two, it robs the practitioners of multiple goals and benefits, instead presenting it as simply calming. Which was never its goal, except maybe samatha meditation.
Essentially, I feel western mainstream and medical meditation denies meditations long history, makes up some goals and benefits that are not within the proven one’s, all while acting like they did it themselves.
Reminds me of the Duke University Koru counseling group which gave a talk on how their program came up with walking meditation…
I hope that’s helpful or at least clear. I do prefer traditional what you would call religious Buddhist mediation but even traditional does not have to contain things you dislike. For instance traditional Chan/Zen and vipasana teachers have been quite open to all students while teaching the full meditation
Thank you for taking the time to reply and thoroughly so.
I think the best differentiation you made between ontology and religion is key. My issue with religious texts is that they (usually but not always) demand a full commitment with other practices and beliefs that I don’t find fitting for me personally, and it seems like an all or nothing approach, so I end up quitting.
Let alone as you mention how these ancient practices have been stripped of their original intentions to be made more palatable to western audiences. Not only that, but now some people have even tried to co-opt them by sticking a western religious approach, further (imo) disrespecting and confounding.
I’m being kinda contradictory, and this is why I haven’t sorted out my internal conflict between the search for inner peace -I wouldn’tbe so pretentious as to call it enlightment-, and my unwillingness to submit to religious dogma (I’ve had enough bad experiences, and not only with one religion).
Just use a password manager, FFS it makes all of your online interactions safer.
Once setup, it is easier than not using one.
Which app would you recommend/suggest?
Bitwarden is the best in my opinion
I use keepass XC, and keep it up to date on all my devices using syncthing.
I have considered bitwarden with self hosting, but keepass had always worked well.
I’m seconding Bitwarden. I’ll also say that whilst self-hosting (if one can do it securely) may be more secure than using a service, security is always going to be a sliding scale trade off of convenience and security.
I recommend Bitwarden to everyone, but I’m sure there are options that are probably equally good. But most people could probably benefit from a password manager because we have so many different services demanding we make accounts that I reckon it’s next to impossible for any reasonable person to avoid reusing passwords across services (that’s one of the biggest security risks that hit regular people).
Start up tips: make sure your master password is strong and memorable. I found Bitwarden’s password generator for this. A passphrase tends to be more memorable than an equally long password — a good master pass phrase would have at least four words (four is sufficient for most people). Write this down in a physical place, as a backup, ideally not your wallet. it doesn’t necessarily need to be locked away, just make sure you’ll know where to find it if you forget it (I forgot mine a bunch at first and had to reference my backup a few times).
Password managers and security in general can feel overwhelming because of the instinct to do things properly, which might include things like self hosting a password manager, or only avoiding biometric sign-in on the phone app version rtc. However, the best password manager is one that you use, and if bits of convenience like this help, then it’s a good trade off.
It reminds me of the joke about two people who see an angry Grizzly bear in the forest, which starts charging at them. One of the people starts running away, and the other shouts “Where are you going, you’ll never outrun the bear”. The running person replies “I don’t need to outrun the bear, I just need to outrun you”. That’s a bad paraphrase, but the sentiment is that using a password manager at all puts you way ahead of many people, in terms of security. Obviously, you’d feel more secure if you knew you could outrun the bear, but if we spent too long being anxious about our ability to do that, we definitely will get eaten. (Apologies for such a long comment. I always do this when I’m procrastinating going to bed. I hope you have a nice Christmas, if you’re celebrating that wherever you are.)
Have used LastPass before it was shit, self hosted bitwarden and KeePass synced with nextcloud (whatever cloud service works). I ended up using KeePass with nextcloud and set KeePass to automatically save changes. Use it on Android with KeePassDX that also includes auto fill across apps. KeePass doesn’t require much setup whereas you need to setup server with bitwarden. Also had some weird sync errors with bitwarden. Having said that, bitwarden is a great piece of software.
Doesn’t hosting your password database in the cloud make it vulnerable to cracking? If it transmits across a network, then an ISP (at the very least; this assumes no malicious actors) will have seen it, and you can no longer be certain no one else has access to it.
https://bitwarden.com/help/what-encryption-is-used/
I don’t know about other password managers, but Bitwarden handles your password pretty well. Of course, if someone has access to your local machine, then it’d fail, but at that point everything is compromised.
Yes it does but it’s a chance that I’m willing to take as I find it extremely u likely to happen. And if it happens all my important logins requires 2FA/TOTP anyway. I put my trust in encryption. You can use syncting to keep it all local if you want to avoid transmission over the web.
KeePass is open source and is easy to sync via whatever service you use, Google Drive, Dropbox, OneDrive or something.
Getting an electric toothbrush, and flossing daily. My dental hygienists love me.
Absolutely lifting weights has been my all time favorite self improvement thing, would highly recommend it
I second this as a non-sporty person. I bought a couple of barbells (15kg apiece) for use at home and 20-30 minutes of just messing around with them daily has solved so many joint aches, it’s almost ridiculous…
Just to note, the form has an impact and can cause more negatives than it solves if not done properly.
That’s why you start off light until you get your form down then work your way up.
Duly noted and you are very right! I looked up a couple of simple exercises beforehand as I’m really not keen on getting a herniated disk or something.
From what I’ve seen, as long as it’s nothing fancy like advanced calisthenics and power training, the exercises are straightforward and easy to grasp.
Using a password manager and moving around every hour or so
3 - using an Oxford comma where appropriate
No no, you need to do both at the same time for maximum effect.
Set a timer for when you’re sitting at a desk and working. Every hour, I get up and do something or go get some water. It helps
Or have ADHD, You’ll be all over the place every 5 minutes.
I don’t really have a set schedule to be in the office anymore and mine has gotten so bad that I’ve been halfway out to my car to go home 2 hours before I intended to on multiple occasions before I caught myself and was like… wtf am I doing?
Read books.
Really anything, philosophy is great but some don’t have the patience for it.
If it’s graphic novels or “kids” books, it’s all good. Spend a bit of time every day reading.
And to add, if reading just doesn’t seem to work, be open towards audio books. They are every bit as good as the books (unabridged, anyway) but can be a better fit for some.
I have adhd and most of my reading has evolved to be listening. It works well so I can get some stimming while doing boring like dishes or whatever, and this way I actually finish books.
Don’t listen to anyone telling you it’s “not reading”. It is. Whatever works for you.
What I’m getting at, is not about finishing books, it’s more about the time.
Slow down, take the time, even 10 minutes, to improve your mind. Reading, any type of reading, improves your thinking.
If you are not used to, at first it may be difficult to pay attention to the audio and understand it. Sometimes for me, the audio becomes background noise.
I listen to several podcasts, while it’s not the same as an audiobook I started doing it to practice languages until I found some channels I like and it’s now part of my daily activities
Couldn’t agree more.
Secondly, never ask for book recommendations on Lemmy or Reddit. You’ll just get a list of pretentious, wanky suggestions that people pretend to like
The best fiction is sometimes just a trashy, edge-of-your-seat thriller
I wouldn’t go that far - oftentimes people actually do like those books that get name dropped for clout.
I would say if you take a recommendation and aren’t digging the book, drop it with absolutely no guilt. If something like (for example) Infinite Jest just feels like a slog with no payoff, and you just wanna kick back with something trashy, do it and fuck the haters.
But you may find you dig it - you won’t know without giving it a shot.
Memorizing long sequences of numbers and conveying mnemonics for them (e.g. 512 becomes EAB, 3.1415… becomes C.ADAE…). Technology allowed humans to forgot how to memorize, for example, phone numbers. This is not good for long-term memory.
I’m reminded of Plato’s argument against writing, in which his position was roughly that relying on writing will make us become less practiced at remembering. I especially love the line, which goes hard.
“What you have discovered is a recipe not for memory, but for reminder.”
Though the entire passage where the quote is from is great; It’s thought provoking even if I don’t necessarily agree with it.
But how does this improve your life? By improving your memory all around?
The brain is like a muscle. it needs to be exercised, otherwise it would become weakened. The more you exercise it, the more it’ll be stronger, and the more your thoughts will become clearer. Numbers are especially hard to the brain, because brains aren’t naturally designed for numbers, so math is like a gym weight for the brain.
The opposite can be asked: how memory wouldn’t improve one’s life? I can’t see how it wouldn’t. The lack of memory skills would surely be problematic, especially when the modern life requires dealing with lots of information. Sure, we can delegate these oceans of information to our little bright rectangular stones which we often carry around with us like they were extension members of our bodies, but we’d be delegating our intelligence to things that can’t be intelligent at all (smartphones, which lack the "smart"ness of human brain). To be intelligent is to intellego, to understand, to comprehend. Only living beings can comprehend things. However, in order to comprehend, the brain needs to be used for constant comprehension, the brain needs to be developed through neuroplasticity, which is why improving one’s memory is important.
Turning them into letters just seems harder to me, lol
Yeah, indeed it is. And to make things worse, our brains aren’t really native to numbers, our brains are native to meanings and emotional correlations and names. We get to memorize a song or a smell better than we get to memorize the 10 first digits of pi.
I sometimes tinker with math, programming (this one used to be my professional field), ciphers and steganography (scientific, logical approach towards the alphabetical positioning), as well as Gematria and numerology (non-scientific, esoteric/spiritual approach towards the alphabetical positioning). This allowed me to memorize the numerical position for some letters (for example, L=12, H=8, T=20, W=23). I got these letters specifically memorized due to emotional/spiritual/meaningful correlations (e.g. Lilith’s name can be represented by the sequence 12 09 12 09 20 08).
When some of the letters are memorized, the other letters become a matter of counting from the nearest letter, until they’re also memorized. Then, the reverse conversion (numbers to letters) become a bit easier to do (if I managed to memorize that T is 20, with enough repetition, I get to memorize that 20 is T).
I also memorized that 97 is the ASCII code for lowercase a, while 65 is the uppercase A, so this also allows the conversion between a text and its numerical ASCII representation, although it involves a lot more of math than simply converting numbers to letters within the alphabet or vice-versa.
Reading books on daily basis. It’s a qualitatively different experience from reading websites or consuming other form of media. If you have trouble getting into reading, I recommend picking a particular time and place, then reading at least a few pages every day. Eventually, it will turn into a habit and you’ll be reading for longer periods. Another thing I recommend is finding books on topics you’re interested in, be it fiction or non fiction, and don’t feel bad about abandoning books if you find you’re not enjoying it.
Not waiting for a day like new years to make a change that helps you.
The best time to do it was probably years ago.
The second best time is today.
Because if you make it about “new years” or some event, then it isn’t about YOU.
Do it for YOU, because you know that you’re worth the same amount of effort and affection as the others in your life.
Would you want this change for your friend? Turn don’t you think you skills care enough about you to give it to yourself?
I quit smoking the day my niece was born.
I quit drinking on April 1st, I’ve lost track of how many years ago it was, so that’s nice.
don’t discount the power of a specific date to reinforce a change and don’t let the reputation of new years resolutions stop you from setting and crushing them.
Neither of those are New Year’s resolutions.
“The day my niece was born” is actually exactly the type of thing I’m talking about. You didn’t wait until new years, or your birthday, or something else unrelated to your motivations. You picked “now” because that was when you felt the desire.
So yes, special days can matter, but the days that matter to YOU are way more important than a day some guy named “Gregorian” chose 2000 years ago.
Nice backtracking on “some other event,” that’s better than what 90% of the internet would do!
I still think it’s fine to use external dates for self improvement. I’m not very religious, but I love lent specifically because it’s a socially encouraged time to change a habit that lasts nearly the two months it takes to make a new habit or break an old one.
One year it was soda because I drank a few cans a week, since then I very rarely have any in the house. Last year I gave up meat, which is something I would never have pushed myself to do on my own.
It’s just a lot easier to test a change when it’s not permanent. There’s certainly an argument to be made that a full year of change at new years is too long to successfully commit to, but that doesn’t mean the whole thing should be discounted.
You’re assuming it was backtracking rather than a simple clarification.
That’s unnecessarily unpleasant, and it’s cool you want to feel like you won the argument, but if you add in the context of “new years eve” and then read it as “some other event external to the reason you want to make a change” it’s not backtracking.
In fact it’s just context you missed because of your own life experiences and emotions.
Which is cool, but you look like an ass when you try and secure a win by pointing out your own misunderstanding rather than hearing my clarification.
It’s an argument on the internet, there are never really winners. It seemed like backtracking because saying that a dissenting response is “actually the type of thing I’m talking about” carries an implication that the person responding misunderstood you, rather than acknowledging the possibility that you did not clearly/fully communicate your thoughts. As far as I and I assume the person you responded to could tell, that wasn’t “actually the type of thing” you were talking about. Backtracking may have been the wrong term, but there was a level of condescension in your comment that was so close to being sincere that it rubbed me the wrong way. Combine that with me half-disagreeing with you and that made for a response with some snark at the front. I am a little sorry for that. Also, why would you write “because of your own life experiences and emotions?” Unless the discussion is focused on something related to how people become the way they are, that statement has about as much meaning as “this is an aspen. You can tell it’s an aspen because of the way it is.” All it says is that you assume there is something wrong with the person rather than actually say anything about what that person has said or done. At worst it’s empty words and at best it’s an empty ad hominem.
You’re quite right that there are no winners to internet arguments, but this didn’t need to be an argument.
I think things often escalate in online discussions because tone and intent don’t come across well. Sometimes we start writing a comment and find ourselves struggling to put words to our point, possibly due to other tasks demanding our attention. Often we don’t realise a clarification is needed until after people have already read our message.
Given those factors, if we want to avoid turning discussions into arguments, we need to assume good faith from the people we’re talking to. That can seem like an absurd prospect given how many people online are arguing in bad faith, but if you can’t reasonably assume a particular person in a conversation is arguing in good faith, are they really worth your time?
For example, I didn’t read the person you’re replying to as being particularly snarky, and I’m surprised that you read them as such. You’ve written a decent amount here that seems determined to be having an argument, but I’m not sure what the actual argument at hand is. It seems like you might be feeling the need to defend yourself based on the miscommunication that happened up-thread? Which I can understand, but I don’t understand why you feel the need to break things down to the nitty gritty wordy bits. If I were being uncharitable, I would probably consider you to be trying to stir shit up and start arguments where there are none. However, if I am assuming good faith of you (which feels reasonable, to an extent, because you clearly spent time writing this comment, and I also appreciate that you partly apologised), then I still read you as being defensive, but in a way that I’m far more sympathetic to, because I do it sometimes myself.
I think you captured the grim nihilism of most internet arguments well when you said that no-one really wins in an internet argument. Certainly though, there are losers, and sometimes when I find myself arguing for longer than I should be, it’s because I feel like I’m trying to “save face” in a way, and avoid being the loser. Sometimes it’s when I have fucked up and communicated my original point unclearly, and sometimes it’s because I feel like people are unjustly accusing me of something (by implication, usually). However, that mode of discussion sucks for everyone involved, and ultimately, wanting to avoid that shit is a large part of why I’m here on Lemmy, where I find I have more discussions than arguments.
I fear that my comment here will seem overly accusatory or judgemental, but I hope that you’ll recognise that I have no stakes in this discussion and wouldn’t have spent this time writing this if I was just trying to throw shit. Your parsing of condescension in the above comments is not invalid any more than my reading of those same comments as being patient and reasonable is. Words can be slippery, even for the most skillful of writers. But I think you’ll find that assuming good faith of the people you’re communicating with can lead to far more productive discussions because people become more inclined to show you more slack in turn, which is nice.
Tell me more about my “faults” and “condescension” and “ad hominem”, then reread your comments. Yep, there’s some condescension from me here, but you’re also once again trying to throw judgement. “Glass houses” and all.
You win, Have a nice day.
Not the commenter you were arguing with, but I really liked that last sentence. I’m going to hang on to that feeling.
Make a list of all the tasks you want to do for the day, every day. This is so important for me if I don’t do this I just never get anything done.
Also always plan to do something productive every day even if you just feel like relaxing. You will feel so much better relaxing if you know you’ve done something your proud of.
