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When in an argument, wait for the other person to stop talking then maintain eye contact and say nothing. They’ll feel the need to fill the void and keep talking after a few seconds, but this move throws them off balance and helps calm them down. Also works great with angry customers at retail jobs.
Also, when you suspect someone is lying to you. After the silence, they’ll often try to cover up the lie because they suspect you’ve figured them out.
The soctatic method. It forces people to actually think about their position in an argument
I don’t like the Socratic method as it is employed in classrooms. I think the method of questioning is fine, and dissecting a subject can be fun with the right group and foreknowledge, but most instructors absolutely suck at making sure all students are up to speed with whatever is being discussed.
I don’t see its value as a teaching tool without a strong enough instructor to prepare the students for its use and to guide the discussions in a productive manner.
Every professor I’ve ever had who used this method basically wasted class time with fill in the blank response questions. These are not higher order thinking discussions and do nothing to actually broaden understanding of whichever subject is being discussed. It seems like a cop out for the professor to me, at least how I’ve seen it used in multiple major universities.
I’ve had better Socratic discussions while high as fuck with my buddies after class than when we were actually in the lecture hall.
Seriously, lol. Just lecture if you’re gonna lecture. I hate playing hide the ball with my own students because it’s just a waste of time for everyone involved.
I knew it was going to be that shithead Ben Stein.
The Socratic method is used extensively in medical training to the point that I think most doctors wouldn’t think of it as the Socratic method but rather just as the way you speak to students and trainees.
I can’t imagine how it could work in a lecture hall, it’s best used one on one or at most small groups.
Absolutely. Small group is a must. I think the variations with seminars (always around 20 because universities want to maximize their profits) and lecture halls are terrible.
I see it working with 10ish people at the absolute max.
Do you think maybe some of your teachers were still developing their Socratic method skills?
Lol no. These guys were tenured professors doing the same shit for years. It’s a systemic issue where they rely on a definition of the “Socratic method” that is completely divorced from the original and functional tool. It’s a buzz word they’ve been misinterpreting for over a century.
If you’re walking towards someone on the street and you want to avoid the whole “I’m going left you’re going right” dance - DO NOT make eye contact with them and glance toward the way you intend to go. They will automatically go the other way and you won’t bump into anyone ever again
Now playing The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony
this also works for navigating large crowds! you look slightly down and the direction you want to go and watch entire crowds part for you. some people will be oblivious and you may have to walk around them, but for the most part, people being able to subconsciously see where you want to go will make them move out of that way for you.
Typically people of driving age move to the side of the road they drive on, ( in that country) in a pedestrian situation.
Where it falls down is tourists in your city when e.g. you are from US and they are from UK etc.
If you want someone to approve something, ask for something over the top outrageous and then when they expectedly say no, you „compromise“ to the thing you actually intended.
The ole cock-thumb.
@TehBamski the way having 2 eyes lets us see 3D
Seeing this comment once… was enough. But a second time? Sheesh. /j
Upvoting posts that really aren’t that great.
Thanks. …hey, wait a minute.
Allowing yourself to be wrong. Especially as a male.
Instead of trying to figure out a way to still kind of be correct, you just objectively reconsider the facts.
It made me a better adult. I prefixed a lot of my statements with “I think” or “I believe” to emphasis the possibility for me to be wrong. And I’m more inclined to ask questions. (Which sadly gets a lot of people riled up because they have a hard time believing I’m not doing it sarcastically.)
Try using “to the best of my knowledge”, I find it is indicating that your knowledge is not complete.
But it also indicates you have thought of the situation.
Good point, but it doesn’t have a natural sounding translation in my language, although I do use “as far as I know”.
This has been a lifelong habit for me and something I respect and appreciate and think virtuous in others, but I’m starting to think I should train myself out of it. Saying “I think”, or “to the best of my knowledge” frequently seems to broadcast “I’m just guessing at random without thought” or with some people it seems to convey “I’m wrong about…”. It also very often seems to encode “it’s best not to listen to the remaining words of this sentence in case my wrongness is contagious”.
As frustrated as I sound by this, I kind of get it I suppose. I thought I was indicating humility and a willingness to change the opinions or ideas I express if the conversation partner has reason to challenge them, however it seems in many cases it just indicates a lack of confidence in my statements. They perhaps might argue that they never thought I was arrogant or lacking in humility to begin with and of course I could be wrong, but everyone could so specifically bringing it up or alluding to it unnecessarily like that just suggests you’re trying to mask that you have no idea what you’re talking about. I suppose one might also say that the willingness to change your opinion in light of a challenge to it is supposed to be a given so there’s no point trying to show that either. I don’t know if anyone really thinks any of this, but there’s probably something like that operating subconsciously.
It depends on the situation.
If I know I’m correct (I’m a subject matter expert in the field I work in), I generally don’t preface my comments.
But in related fields, where my knowledge is less sure, I do.
It can really get difficult, when someone else is talking out their arse, but sounding confident. There are situations where it is unprofessional, to not correct the course of the conversation.
Is bothers mehow intelligence is too often percieved as the opposite.
If you don’t want to answer the question, say “I don’t know, what about you?” and they’ll start talking about themselves, and you won’t be in the spotlight anymore.
People just want to be accepted and loved. Use this knowledge to get almost anyone to do what you want.
Observe their body language. Do they cross their arms a lot? How much eye contact do they make? Do they shift around when talking? Do their eyes dart around the room?
All these are clues about their personality and disposition and you can tailor your communication to them depending on how receptive they are. Do they laugh easily? What makes them laugh? Do they talk a lot? Do they talk about themselves?
Finding out to what degree of extrovert/introvert they are can go a long way into successfully manipulating anyone around you to do what you want.
It’s how I’ve made friends and how I’ve dated women with variable rates of success.
The power of “yes, and …”
Basically when you are being accused of something, or need to shift how someone is perceiving you, instead of saying “yes, but …” You should try 'yes, and…"
Not only does it take the attention away from the negative, but it’s helping in building up new ideas.
Lawyers hate this one trick.
Improv artists love this one trick
Be kind and use people’s names. Also, just asking for stuff.
You’d be amazed how far it will take you just to ask for something, using a person’s name, and being kind about it. Demand something and people will be reluctant to give you a thing.
brygphilomena, can I have your full name, address, social security number, and mother’s maiden name?
brygphilomena, can I have your full name, address, social security number, and mother’s maiden name?
You forgot the magic word.
Orillstabyou.
Sudo brygphilomena, can I have your full name, address, social security number, and mother’s maiden name?
Procrastination.
If you are in a debate and you want to nudge someone towards your opinion, or at least away from theirs, without triggering the typical emotional defence behaviour which ruins rational discussions, calmly ask objective questions which point towards problems in the arguments of your partner.
From my experience, I found this certainly helps to keep discussions civil and make people think rather than just judge emotionally, even though this is not a one-fits-all tool.
(A) Such questions can be used to inquire about the reasons for a statement or opinion, which can provide you with a broader argumentative “attack surface” and might weaken your discussion partner when they discover that their point of view is not as sound and good as they thought it to be.
This basically boils down to principles of epistemology. “How do you know?”
(B) Another use is to include facts or opinions in such questions which counter the argument of your partner and let them re-evaluate it.
Two simple examples:
- “Why do you think that wolves are dangerous for humans?” (A)
- “How does this fit with research which shows that wolves avoid humans and don’t see them as prey?” (B)
That way you don’t necessarily present yourself as an opponent, since your own opinion is not directly verbalized. Instead you hop into a more neutral role, where you ask genuine questions and show interest in the other person’s point of view. Combatative counter arguments are rephrased and hidden that way without the other person realizing it.
This is a good one.
Taking a walk every day helps improve the mood on my dopamine deprived brain.
Sometimes the person you really need to trick with psychology is yourself.
I can get people to tell me their life story and trauma within 10 minutes of meeting them.
Someone tell me what psychology trick I’m doing so I can stop doing it!!!
I get this too! I don’t judge them, I listen because they’ve probably been wanting to do that for a long time. Another thing that happens with me is that “tough” types will approach me and start acting really friendly with me, whereas with other people they’re always angry and intimidating. I think there’s something about me that’s really disarming but like you, I have no idea what it is!
You sound like my husband, I call him a “capybara in disguise”.
Social engineering 🥳
I have no idea why but this happens with most people in my family and we can even trace it back to my great grandma.
I think it does come down to listening actively, but also by sharing a sense of openness and vulnerability. When you’re honest about yourself with others, they’re more likely to be honest with you.
u/Sharkeatingbreakfast
Autism is genetic, and many undiagnosed autistic children will become much harder to diagnose as adults because they will over adjust from their social awkwardness and become incredibly active listeners.
They’ll often be told they’re “easy to talk/open up to” because they maintain great eye contact, nod along and give little responses throughout a story.
I’m not saying you’re autistic necessarily, but the experience you’re explaining is one that I’ve had and many people I’ve known have had
I’m not saying you’re autistic necessarily
Lmao you don’t have to.
So all I gotta do is cure this gosh-dang autism and people will stop?
The 4chan version of autism doesn’t have this issue as much, I’d guess. You could give that a shot
It’s genetic?
Thank you for the reaction image and good luck with knowing too much about the people around you
listening
oh no…
