Rules: explain why
Ready player one.
That has to be one of the cringiest movies I’ve seen, is tries so hard, too hard with it’s “WE LOVE YOU NERD, YOU’RE SO COOL FOR PLAYING GAMES AND GETTING THIS 80S REFERENCE” message and the whole “corporation bad, the people good” narrative seems written for toddlers… The fan service feels cheap and adds nothing to the story.
Finally, they trying to make the people believe that very attractive girl with a barely visible red tint spot on her face is “ugly”… Like wtf?
Yet it received decent reviews plus being one of the most successful movies of that year.
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Poor Things
I saw nothing but praise for this thing and have no idea why. None of the characters are relatable, their take on female empowerment is creepy and gross, and almost every male character is either evil or a simp. This is like a weird fourth wave feminist Frankenstein porno.
Alien Romulus
This movie seems to get a lot of love for some reason. I understand the bar was set really low by Prometheus and Covenant but that’s not an excuse.
Romulus is just a collection of greatest hits from all the previous movies. None of the beats were new or original. Not a single protagonist or element added to the story in a meaningful way. None of the main characters are memorable in the slightest (compare to the phenomenal characters in Alien or Aliens). It was just so…bland
I know I’ll get shit, but Pulp Fiction sucks. It’s not about anything, Bruce Willis adds nothing to the film at all, and it’s confusing to watch without having any real reason to be or payoff.
The worst part is that it’s one of those things where if you don’t like it, the fans just belittle you and claim you’re “Just not smart enough to get it man.” or they’ll be passive aggressive about it. “Oh it’s okay, my ditzy blonde girlfriend doesn’t get it either.” or “Not every movie can be about guns and shit, I know you stopped paying attention after the opening.”
It’s a shame because it was hyped up to me as one of the best movies of all time, and I try to watch it thinking this time it will click, this time I can see what the fuss is about.
And each time, it’s just as terrible as I remember for all the same reasons as last time.
While on this subject It’s a TV Show and not a movie, but I legitimately believe Andor is one of the worst pieces of Star Wars media ever created and if given the choice I’d sooner watch the Holiday Special because at least it’s entertainingly bad. Instead of being a god damn hour straight of characters marching like they’re at a military parade just to get to a boring shoot-out at a heist where everyone dies, only unlike when everyone dies in the heist in Rogue One, I don’t shed a single tear because everyone involved with said heist has done absolutely nothing but bitch at Andor for not being “one of the cool kids” so if I’m feeling any emotion it’s annoyance that my time getting to know these losers was completely wasted and relief that such unlikable characters are dead.
But hey, at least it only ruined Cassian Andor, it could have ruined someone who’s been in more than one movie like Book of Boba Fett did. Ya know what Boba Fett’s “book” is called in this show; Character Assassination: A How-To Guide
I don’t know how you ruin a character who’s done nothing but say “He’s no good to me dead” in one movie, and have a retconned-in-most-continuities death in the next, but leave it to Disney’s second Dark Age to find a way. But hey, at least every one agrees that Book of Boba Fett is trash instead of kissing the ground it walks on like Andor. So there’s that.
Andor is a show so bad that there’s a character named Cyril who’s entire existence is dedicated to scenes where he eats Cereal. Absolute trash.
Anyway getting back to how the pulp of orange juice is more fun to watch than Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarantino is a hack who sucks at every aspect of film making that isn’t writing dialogue. Resevoir Dogs was okay though.
Harry Potter.
Before JK went mask off, I had dropped the books about half way though for being increasing annoyed with how they ended. Never any change to the status quo except Harry actually regressing in character development. I watched the first movie, but that was around when I dropped the books and never looked back.
I was able to just quietly keep my opinions to myself, but with with JK becoming increasing unhinged with both her tweets and books, I haven’t felt the need to be polite with the “separate the art from the artists” types. Especially when they just assume that you’re a fan if you don’t correct them.
Spirited Away
No consistent world, cringy behaviour of the main character, love story out of nowhere, you can’t have a plot twist if you didn’t have any previously established lore. It felt a bit like a dream that was trying to take itself seriously as an actual story.
i agree with you, and i pretty much felt the same the first time i watched it. plus, Chihiro feels like a very reactive character, driven from one errand to the next, and nothing feels really earned.
however, my opinion changed a little bit, because i got to see its theatre adaptation on stage. this is more or less my first time seeing a stage play, so it was a very new, and different experience for me. basically it is a big make believe, because unlike film or animation, what you can do with props on stage is very limited. i had to try very hard to turn the analytical part of my brain off, otherwise the whole thing will just be ridiculous. and that somehow made it a lot more enjoyable.
so i guess what i am trying to say is, don’t think too hard about it? 🤷
how dare you
Upvote
Why?
Edited my comment
HOT TAKE
hella disagree upvote
It’s weird, because I loved Spirited Away upon first watching it. But I can’t do it anymore. It’s like you say, a dream with no consistency. I let it fool me once, but now I’m lucid and see through the facade.
That’s not to say I think it’s bad, per se. It’s still beautiful, and fascinating, and has a great score… But for me personally it has no re-watchability for precisely the reasons you mention.
Spirited Away, and to some degree all Ghibli stuff leans very heavily on a shared cultural Mythos. It doesn’t do exposition in the same way that zombies or angels aren’t explained; everyone knows that stuff because we all grew up with a million references.
I gave up on spirited away half way through it.
Ghibli it’s very hit and miss for me, it’s either really amazing or really tedious and boring.
Se7en
Hated everything about it. Predictable all the way through the big reveal at the end. I don’t understand the appeal.
My wife and I are huge fans of the Ready Player One book and we could not watch the movie. Literally stopped it. I tried a few more times to resume it but I kept having to stop. I finally finished it on my eight or ninth session.
if you think that movie was bad, you have no idea how painful it is for someone who loved the book.
The book is objectively trash. I didn’t even finish it. The story is trash. The writing is trash. The characters are forgettable. Its just a bad, bad book.
I’ve heard the book it’s even worse 🤷🏽♂️
I saw that comment and find it suspect. If they didn’t like the book, it seems masochistic to watch the movie. If they didn’t like the movie, why read the book? It has always been popular to hate on the book because it is definitely a Gen-X nostalgia circle jerk, regardless of what else it brings to the table.
My point was that if you hated the movie, you likely would have hated it triple if you liked the book.
Marvel movies. Yes all of them. They’re trash. It’s just cgi slop, badly written one-dimensional characters, cliché tropes, formulaic stories, plotholes bigger than meteorcraters and brainless action sequences. A cashgrab.
A saw a couple; I gave them a fair chance. They’re all the same. The appeal is beyond me. Brainrot at its finest.
Elf.
Once you’ve seen the first 3 minutes and get the premise, then the entire rest of the film is so predictable in its jokes and situations that I derived absolutely zero pleasure from watching it and it just grated the entire way through.
Films can be funny because the initial premise leads to really entertaining, unexpected or clever situations… or a film can super straight up and shallow in its humour.
I really don’t get why Elf is so incredibly popular.
Didn’t even watch Ready Player One the movie because the audiobook was just as cringey, and it was read by Wil Wheaton of all people. I like his work with boardgaming (tabletop), but something about his voice just so well represented the blatant fan service-ness of the whole thing, I hated every minute of it.
As for popular movies that I hated? I don’t feel THAT strongly about it, but I was just kind of meh on Sonic 3. I wasn’t even expecting a masterpiece, but it seems like there’s been enough online hype that made it seem like it was going to be better than expected. It was just whatever. My kids liked it well enough, so I’m probably not the target audience anyways, I’ve played many of the Sonic games, but I’m not nostalgic or a Sonic nerd or anything. It was a sub-par movie with a handful of funny lines.
Skinamarink
2 minutes of storyline and any sort of movement at all
98 additional minutes of “atmosphere”
90% of marvel adaptations are pure trash.
The Matrix
I thought it was tedious, self-satisfied nonsense. Some impressive visual effects and a bit of half-baked philosophy did not a good movie make. Everything about it seemed to be focused on being cool, rather than telling a decent story.
The Matrix is great, it has some good explanation of philosophical concepts, yet is action packed and intelligent.
The rest of the trillogy, just meh…
The. rest. of. the. trilogy. is. also. widely. panned…
removed by mod
The matrix is good precisely because they don’t spoon feed everything to you.
Do you mean just the first one or the trilogy as a whole?
I thought the first one stood up far far better on its own rather, many things left unsaid, rather than the rest which tried to fill out the story, and not too well
I mean the first one, as I’ve never seen the others :-)
I get that many people do like it, and that’s all good, but I dislike how it often seems to be verboten to say even the slightest negative thing about the film.
The matrix trilogy is an excellent story. And I cannot agree with you. I’m sure you don’t wanna hear an essay about it though. Everything fits so well and it’s full of significance. The ending of it was brilliant.
They fucked up with that cringe 4th movie though
Each to their own I guess. I enjoyed the ending, because that meant it was over ;-)
Iirc, the 4th movie was intentionally bad and meant to be a bomb because the wachowski sister that did come back only did so that no one else would touch their story.
Intentionally bad still bad. And a middle finger to the fans, plus stealing their money
The movie literally tells you what it is doing at the start when Neo talks to that CEO person. “We’re making this with or without you.” I didn’t really like it either until it turned into a heist movie halfway through and I got it. She was just taking the piss. It’s not a FU to the fans but to Warner Brothers.
I didn’t see it, but IMO based on your description the appropriate thing to do would be to make the best movie she could, or to have refused, even if that meant them making it without her. Taking up the offer of making the movie and then deliberately doing a bad job is a giant “fuck you” to everyone who bought tickets.
(If they did make it without her, it might still have been bad or even undermined her intentions with the franchise, but at least her name would be clear. And fans are very good at saying “yeah no we don’t consider these corporate-made extensions of the auteur’s world to be very good. We consider it a separate canon.” Look at Star Wars, or the Dune novels after Frank Herbert’s death, or how people were reacting to Netflix’s Avatar after Mike & Brian left the production even before it released.)
There’s a whole story to this movie. I’m sure someone’s made a 3 hour deep dive into it explaining why she did it and what the studio was doing, but I think she saw the script they were pushing and just couldn’t let them make it. I don’t think the movie is bad bad, it just doesn’t make any gd sense unless you watch it through the lense of this wachowski sister going through transitioning and dealing with the loss of several close people. She’s just slapping random shit together because it made her feel good.
I completely understand why huge matrix fans wouldn’t like it though. They didn’t sign up for a meta commentary on Hollywood and trans people. But as more of these completely shit super hero movies come out the more I can appreciate what she did.
Ironically if you accept it’s a “fuck you” film, like you’ve been invited round to the wachowskis to watch one of the their random side projects it becomes enjoyable again
That’s the only way to enjoy it imo. If you watch it seriously you’ll be like, wtf is this shit. But if you imagine the wachowski being like, look at this bullshit I made them do, it becomes a sort of meta comedy. I am not joking when I say I was in a state of bewilderment before the heist scene. Then I busted out laughing because of how ridiculous it was and the movie became enjoyable.
The irony is the matrix has always been “meta”. Repeatedly breaking out of each paradigm to show you the last one was an illusion. So in a weird way it is a proper sequel, just not in a way that anyone’s going to like.
The people paid to see the movie, a good movie
Yeah but did we really expect it to actually be good?
The first movie was okay, but they dropped the ball on 2 and 3 in my opinion. They weren’t bad but definitely not what I’d consider brilliant.
I enjoyed the 2nd, but 3rd just missed the mark completely.
1st: Yes, let’s explore this rabbit hole
2nd: Let’s explore it some more and progress the story
3rd: same as 2nd but neo becomes wizard Jesus when blind, apparently.
Not one comment in here about Lord of the Rings.
Which I agree with. Amazing movies. Glad everyone’s on the same page.
For me, it’s James Cameron’s Avatar. Visually stunning, especially for its time, but the story has to be the most cliche, predictable, boring, lazy piece of writing to ever have existed. It’s like they held an environmentally conscious 11 year old at gun point and made them write a story. The cigar chomping military guy working for corpos wants to pilfer a beautiful planet for its resources with disregard for the native populations that live there. Where have I seen that before? Oh yeah, ALL AROUND ME, EVERY FUCKING GOD DAMN DAY. Get an original idea.
Fuck this stupid piece of shit dumbass movie. It’s intellectually insulting. It’s a disgrace.
/endrant
