Just about everyone looks better when they smile. It’s true regardless of gender. I don’t see where sexism enters the equation.
I feel pretty oblivious. What am I missing?
Fuck the downvotes. This is no stupid questions!
Its considered rude towards women. Because a lot of men just say it to women to look more attractive or to just looke more nice as if women bare the responsibility to be nice to men or always be attractive otherwise they wont be considered women at all. I think it became like because many men just say it a lot (or many boomers dont know).
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/c/NoStupidQuestions
Asks a “stupid” question
-22
Wow, you really played yourself didn’t you, OP?
Seriously, wtf is even the point of this subreddit at this rate?
Some people on Lemmy act all high and mighty while considering themselves as “different” from all the regular social media normies owned by corpos. But they’re still the same here as well. Just a different coat of paint.
And I’m not even just referring to this post or even this community or instance. They are all just as retarded and lack any self awareness as much as all the other people online.
It’s the same as when people on Reddit act superior and different, because they don’t have their real names on the account compared to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, ext.
You know the “It’s not the same social media, we are different” that is popular both here and there and most other places to be honest.
I imagine the downvoters perceived the question not as stupid, but trolling or provoking.
It’s not women’s job to be attractive.
They aren’t there for your viewing pleasure.
They’re not for you; they’re not a public amenity.
You have no more right to expect them to smile in order to make your surroundings more aesthetic than you have a right to expect them to get their tits out for you to gawp at.
Ah I see!
So you’re essentially saying that instead of asking women to smile, I should also ask them to get their tits out for me to gawp at!
Thank you :)
It’s not sexist, it’s threatening.
While you may mean well, the vast majority of times a woman is complemented by an acquaintance or stranger, it’s because that person is trying to hit on the woman.
You might think “shouldn’t that be flattering?” No, it really isn’t. Every single woman I know has countless stories about how they have been harassed by desperate men trying to get into their pants. If you could barely walk into a public place without random strangers harassing you, you’d be soured on the idea too. To further compound the problem, men are on average bigger, stronger, and more aggressive than women.
So as an example, I was out with my girlfriend once, walking down a crowded street. There was a group of people we had to walk around so we went single file. In less than 30 seconds, she already had some shitty man cat calling her with loaded compliments. I shoved some people aside to make sure I was standing next to her again and he shut up immediately. This is just a fact of life for most women.
Men may not understand this because they only very rarely receive random compliments, but it hits very different as a woman.
There is an appropriate time to compliment women, and it’s after you have already built up a trusting friendship. Besides, a compliment means more coming from a friend than a stranger.
I constantly have to remind myself that I can be perceived as “threatening”, because I’m typically not threatening at all. Having some empathy is a good start, but there’s so much I don’t know about what women deal with on a daily basis.
“dangerous by default” because you are a man and just as disposable; ain’t the patriarchy swell?
It is generally uncouth to tell anyone how to feel regardless of gender. Compel the person to feel through your own words and actions. If you fail to achieve the desired results, change your tact.
If you fail to achieve the desired results, change your tact.
Or maybe just leave other people the fuck alone to live their lives in peace.
I don’t think it’s sexist. It’s just rude, no matter who you’re asking. I’d equate it to someone asking me to dress differently as if it’s my job to please them.
Context matters:
Taking a group photo? Stock photo models? PR? Greeter? - yes, asking someone to smile for a goal is fine
Someone just minding their own business - no, asking them to smile is selfish and just for your personal satisfaction. People don’t need to justify to you why they don’t feel like smiling. It’s rude to demand it of others
Greeter? you think the people at walmart want to be there? 60+ and the best job they find is minimum wage and standing on their feet all day getting ignored by people mostly so other employees don’t walk out the front with loot?
I think you should ask men to smile more (like at the grocery store or gym) and see how it goes. 😉
Do you have an example?
The only time I can imagine someone asking someone else to smile is when taking photos.
I don’t have an example because I knew it wasn’t a good thing to do, so I didn’t (and won’t!) do it. I just didn’t know why, but those who have responded have helped explain!
- Context matters. That question is rarely asked by anyone that isn’t a douchebag trying to hit on a woman.
- From my understanding, even when NOT in the context of douchebaggery, it’s a condescending thing to say to a woman. So much of society wants to put women in a box where they’re expected to look pretty, smile more, talk less, and listen to big strong men with their big manly brains. Being told to “smile more” is pretty triggering for some (but maybe not all) women who are tired of dealing with that shit.
Disclaimer: am man, as my username implies.
I initially didn’t understand the context of the question as I assumed you meant when taking a photo.
I taught my dog to smile. "Smile pretty"and she would bare her fangs for a treat
In general it’s asking another person to change their appearance to suit your preferences rather than just respecting whatever mood they’re in or how their naturally resting face just looks, it’s a dick move. Forcing a smile also sucks. It takes some amount of conscious effort to maintain a forced smile and smiling does engage quite a few muscles in the face, about 43 different muscles to make a smile.
Combine all of that with the history of women very much not having any kind of power in our society, and it takes on a more sinister tone when directed at women, hinting at the idea of someone’s only valuable because they have a pretty face and it should be pretty all the time.
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Because it’s sexist to ask me to look better for you
