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I separated myself from my brains “mean voice”. Because they’re not normal thoughts id have about other people, but separating them out I was able to address it differently and notice that “Her” presence is a sign something else might be going on in that moment. At first I was pretty brutal with her back, but over the years I got gentler with her and came to respect that she’s trying to protect me from something (no matter how misguided). I think the real healing came from that moment I was kind and gentle with Her when She’d say the stuff she’d say, but it started with me separating herself out so I could examine it as something distinct from my Self.
If you wouldn’t let anyone say it about your friend, don’t say it about yourself. Don’t even think it about yourself.
In what way are you mean to yourself?
Do something today that your future self will appreciate. What would you do to a friend to be kind? Do that for yourself in the future.
Get confident, stupid
Works only for Germans.
Why only for Germans?
The joke is that the German word for children is Kinder. So if you want to be Kinder to yourself you have to become your own parent.
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Don’t insult yourself. It can be difficult at times, and it feels like a small thing to worry about, but it provides a large amount of progress in that regard. I will find myself revising my own thoughts when I slip, usually ending up with a much more constructive criticism of what I’m frustrated about.
This is a big one. One of my friends would constantly berate himself like “I’m such an idiot”, “I’m a dumb old dinosaur” anytime he couldn’t fully grasp a new concept. Over time I could tell that it was actually making him less likely to give himself a chance at understanding. And he truly is a smart dude. One day I called him out on it and he just stayed quiet, took a deep breath and said “you’re right. I’m not an idiot, just need time to understand”. He no longer says it and now embraces a mental challenge.
do the basic things we all know we should or at least set your self up for success with them. full sleep every night, stay hydrated, eat healthy, excersise, etc at least 80% of the time because cheating onece in a while is nice to.
Learn to recognize automatic negative thoughts.
Smoke two joints in the morning.
masturbate
watch my little pony
eat chocolate
I only ever do the first as a sleep aid to be honest lmao. The others, not so much. Unless it’s white chocolate. I’m a chocolate nazi 🤣
I don’t wanna judge but you’re making it really hard
Imagine yourself as one of your inner circle Friends and sometimes check if you would talk to your friends like your brain talks / thinks about you. We are often so mean / demanding to ourself and often dont know when something is not good for us, but we tend to be good at caring for our friends.
It is just your brain doing worst case scenario planning, the brain while idling loves to run through all of the most awful things that could happen in order to plan for them and give you an advantage should they occur, however outlandish and unlikely. It treats unpalatable opinions about the decisions you have made and your progress through life in the same vein. Turning them around to see how well they fit and if you could benefit from them in some way or to prepare you in case they arise via an external agent.
Don’t apologize to people over little things, like being late or using too much of their time. Instead, thank them. Ex: instead of, “I’m sorry I’m such a mess”, say, “Thank you for being patient with me and supporting me.” It will make both you and the other person feel better than the alternative.
Stay offline.
Learn about the fundamental attribution bias, and make sure you compensate for it, including when thinking about yourself.
Adopt the voice of your mother as a replacement for your inner voice (if she wasn’t bitch, of course). Let it be as kind and forgiving as a mother towards a small child.
