A sympathy card would do. You can sign it just yourself or if it’s the type of office community you could pass it around for others to sign. Other than that, just leave it be. Just l a card or a few words of “I’m sorry for your loss” are enough to show that your heart goes out to her and her family.

How do you show that you care?

Seems like the wrong mindset. Think about what can be done to make her feel cared about. Not cared about by you. Cared about by everyone.

I heard a great podcast with Frank Ostaseski where he talked about how isolating death is. No one wants to bring up what happened, because it may upset you (spoiler: you are already upset) and you don’t want to burden others by talking about it. This traps you into dealing with it alone. I think the best thing you can do is just be available. Tell them you are genuinely want to listen if they want to talk about it. Perhaps make the offer again in a few weeks when others have moved on. No pressure, just be open to listening. Most of us just want to be heard

Have you considered that you’ve already done all you can do and that you’re borderline making it about you. I’d leave it be.

People generally like food and grieving people don’t always have the energy to cook, is there anything you make well? Lasagna? Soup? Mac n cheese?

There really is nothing you can do. Losing a parent is such a deeply personal thing and you just give your condolences and realize that person is going to be sad about it pretty much the rest of their lives but less so day by day.

People already said what I was going to say, so I’ll add something new.

Set a reminder for Mother’s Day. It will be here in a couple months and she will have to remember the pain a bit. The ‘first blank’ without her Mom will be happening a lot this year. Those are the time to let her know you are available if needed.

You could ask her about her mother. Talk about fond memories.

Losing your mother is hard. This year it will be 5 years for me.

Letting her talk about her might be a good emotional outlet. It might make her cry more, but that isn’t a bad thing.

It always hurts to talk about. But I do feel better when I can share a bit of her life.

You need to have that kind of friendship where it wouldn’t be strange. If you only nod to each other at the lunch table, then perhaps just leave it.

Invite her to go do something she likes. Kareoke bar?

If it was one of my coworkers I would offer them to come to me if they either need someone to talk to or need a distraction. For example going on a walk during our break or go get some food together, though these may not be applicable to your workplace.

Everyone grieves differently. Some people want to talk about it, others want to be distracted from it. Only bring it up if you think she’s in a sharing mood, and let her drive the conversation.

You could say something like, “I know it must be difficult right now, but if you want to talk, I’m here for you.”

If she does want to talk, you could ask questions like “What was she like?” People like remembering good times if they can, and it can help them process the loss. But also, some people really don’t want to do that with coworkers. Be prepared for either, and don’t take it personally if she doesn’t want to share.

The best way to show her that you (platonically) care about her in this difficult time is to check in with her - especially a couple of weeks after the funeral. That’s when most people who are trying to help her mentally move on. Not that they don’t care, just that everyone has a life to lead. But that’s the period when the bereaved can feel most lonely and struggle a lot.

Just a simple “I hope you’re doing okay” and “let me know if you want to talk about it” will mean the world.

It obviously depends a lot on your relationship with them but what people usually need at times like this is to know you care, that they aren’t alone, and that you are there to help if needed.

It’s also important to give them the option to opt out of anything you offer and allow them space.

Something like ‘I know this must be a really hard time for you, you’ve been in my thoughts. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you out or even just talk’ then leave it at that unless they want to talk or need help. It acknowledges their grief, offers help, but crucially doesn’t make an obligation for them.

Depending on the culture in your country, a sympathy card could be a good thing to give. You might find a card that says something compassionate, then add a personal note expressing your condolences and offering to be a listening ear at work or outside work, or if they’re looking for a distraction you can be that as well. Something along those lines might be appreciated. It of course depends largely about the kind of relationship you already had with the coworker, and what kind of time you’re willing to offer her outside of work (if her mother had been living with her, for example, she might need someone she can call in the evening to talk when facing that loss).

I like to add a “let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.” It’s a little bit more than just “I’m sorry”.

I’m assuming that you would be willing to help if you can. It would be pretty shitty to say if you didn’t mean it.