- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
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This sign is giving me ideas
If you’re already buying a plant, add the leaf / trimming into the soil of the plant you’re buying. It helps obfuscate it from staff.
So I have been told…
Download in progress
I’ve reported you to the FBI
I know you did
Yes
this is legal.
In Germany, taking away trash that isn’t yours isn’t legal.
in the US its legal. And in germany crimes dont count
Kind of reads like an instruction, not a discouragement.
Like the person who was ordered to make the sign is not the one who wanted it.
Is it a crime to enjoy a succulent leaf?
Without a subscription? Yes.
This is democracy manifest.
This gentleman touched my fruits!
I see you know your topiary well.
Are you waiting to receive my wilted branch?
Life inherently steals. We steal each others carbon when we die.
Hand over your carbon, and no one gets hurt!
No hydrogen, no oxygen. Just the carbon.
I’ll give you my entire carbon stick up the ass…its fun, hold on…no, that’s my ass. Hold on, I know this one. Oh man! I need some help. Could you please? With your lips is better, no teeth. Hey! I’m in charge! That’s my ass again! Fine! Have it your way!
This is likely to prevent people from cutting the plants and later saying they picked up a fallen bit.
Yup, I doubt they actually care about people picking stuff off the floor.
The boots-on-the-ground staff absolutely does not give af. It’s definitely middle management that’s being bitched at by higher-ups that are scared of losing a fraction of a penny.
Source: middle management that gets bitched at by higher-ups that never set foot on the property.
I don’t even think management cares about actually picking up stuff from the floor, they want to stop people cutting off parts of plants and claiming they’re taken from the floor.
I love how their primary focus here is teaching you the term and only secondary concern is anti-theft.
I love how it reminds people that it’s possible.
Yes, it wouldn’t have occurred to me until I saw this sign.
It’s an instruction card
YOU’RE STEALING OUR TRASH! REEEEEEEEE!
If you clip a healthy plant without asking the owner first, you’re a dick. But if I see you do it at a store, no I didn’t. Cause the store made $2,550,000 while I was typing this.
Are we talking about the 450 square meter store that looks like an industrial warehouse, or the 12 square meter handcrafted-everything boutique?
Cause if it’s the former, I didn’t see you shoplift a whole ass plant and if it’s the latter and I see you clip the tiniest part of a plant, I’m calling you out loudly.
It’s a dick move to pinch leaves if for no other reason that someone else may want to buy that plant, and you’re damaging it. Enough people do it, it’s a dead plant.
Leaves fallen to the floor? Boutique or not, fair game. If you’re willing to propagate from a leaf, you’re probably not going to be buying whole plants anyway, and it doesn’t hurt the store.
Imagine going to the hardware store and someone calls it a fucking “boutique”. It’s just Ace Hardware, calm down. Robert, the guy with the nose ring over there, didn’t really craft that screwdriver by hand, either. Fuckin’ liar. Yeah I’m talking about you, the fuck you gonna do about it? Next time I see you explaining how you ‘create lightbulbs with love’, I’m lighting your car on fire. Don’t think I won’t!
Anyway, what were we - oh yeah. Ace Hardware. Now impeccably posh, I guess.
Trust me. Don’t take cuttings from the boutique flower shop.
Imagine going to the hardware store and someone calls it a fucking “boutique”.
No one ever did that, they’re talking about a garden center you know where you get plants a hardware store is where you get bits of wood, some spare drain pipe and fork handles.
At many places near me, they are a department in the hardware store (big and small).
Yeah. Also I explained it in another comment, but in my country there’s usually two types of places where you can get flowers. Large flower or hardware stores for one, but then the rest are tiny oases of beauty where the owner is also the person selling you the flowers, and have their own handcrafted items for decoration and/or sale, like vases, baskets, etc.
That’s like the farthest thing from a hardware store, even if hardware stores do indeed also sell flowers. But I guess there are places in the world where beautiful small family businesses don’t exist so all you get is Walmart and Ace Hardware and then you think all businesses are giant faceless corporations.
Yeah, we have those in the US too. Not sure why that other commenter seems to think Ace Hardware is the smallest business that sells plants, there are plenty of small nurseries in every state.
Maybe they just live in a really bleak and lifeless small town or something and don’t really explore to find the cool places.
Or a large city… I think you’re actually more likely to find these stores in rural areas.
What Ace hardware? We don’t have those in my country.
There’s exactly two types of flower stores I see around here. The gigantic chains where everything is sterile and the tiny boutiques where either the owner is the only employee, or maybe they have like 1-2 extra employees so they can stay open more than 5x8 and actually take vacations. And yeah, some hardware stores also have flowers, but I’d categorize those together with the former.
Ace is a small form store in the states, typically the size of a modest house or smaller, that sells home improvement stuff. As opposed to mega big-box places that you can get lost in.
Thank you for sharing this bit of culture.
I’m sure this is hysterical. I wish I could understand what they were saying lol
It’s a classic. One of the Two Ronnies’ best. The original hand-written script went for £40,000 at auction.
I mean if you’re pinching a leaf then that’s not in the dubious territory, that’s just straight up stealing. And it’s not like someone is stealing fucking plant leaves to stave off starvation lol
Well how much is it worth? You going to ring me up for a leaf?
Executive boardroom
“How can we barcode each individual leaf? Surely this is an untapped market?” -some MBA
Yes I would! A weed plant!
I grew professionally for many years. That’s exactly how it works lol. Consistency is key and cloning is the way. I’ve sold single clones for thousands of dollars but the 2nd one was always for maybe a hundred bucks.
We really do live in a dystopia.
So many examples every day.
Dystopia is when small sign.
Anarchy, because apparently words don’t have meaning anymore
I personally like nurseries to be able to stay in business. Most of them are just small local businesses.
Pinching off a leaf seems icky, but fallen leaves are fair game.
bUt tHE MuLCh
(this is a non-argument unless people are taking literally every other leaf)
You sound like you steal from the forest. Abhorrent thief.
AbhorrentArbor-ent thief.I’m not the most familiar with entkind, but are there non arbor ent? Are the entwives something else? Cacti?
This comment is an aberration.
abberrationarbor-ationI suspect you called me out to do this by your choice of words. I appreciate it.
You are correct, friend, and you are welcome.
Don’t think mulch about it
I’m pinching off a leaf right now.
fallen leaves are fair game
I don’t think it works like that. It’s like taking something that’s dropped but usable from the shop floor. They might just sweep it to garbage but they probably aren’t allowing you to take it anyway.
Depending on the shop, they might also be picking up and propagating fallen leaves as well.
That’s true
I usually take the floor leaves and tuck them into a plant or two I actually buy. That way I’m still paying for something and I might get some freebies if I can get the extra leaves to grow but it’s not guaranteed. I probably wouldn’t do this at a local store tho, just the big box stores.
