The paranoid narcissim in this thread in incredible. I have no idea how some people function at all if the idea of a phone call unravels them.

For me I hate phone calls because it’s someone demanding I drop what I’m doing to address whatever they want. Keep in mind, 99% of phone calls I get are at work form co-workers.

The number of “quick calls” that are actually quick I can count on 1 hand, and still have room for more. I have tasks to accomplish, things to do. And I’m spread so thin between all the things I do, there’s a fair chance I’m going to forget something about what you asked/told me. If it’s in text form I can review it when I loop back to it. You need me to check/validate/run something, cool. I have record of what, when, and if I completed it. Just because you have a question does not make it an emergency on my part.

As for my home phone, the only folks who ever call me are either telemarketers or scams. If a friend called I’d probably answer (if I have the time). But I think most of my friends are in the same boat, we have so much to do these days (non-recreation) that it’s just not easy to find time. A lot of my friends have side-hustles or a second job or are in class (like me) in order to stay competitive. When I was a kid, I remember my parents could unwind at the end of the day, friends would just come over to hang out. It just ain’t like that no more.

My biggest reason for not liking calls is that I often very much struggle to actually hear what’s being said. I’ll take talking in person over a call. Text mediums also have the benefit of being able to be referred back to. Great to double check something, or to cover your ass. I’ll take a paper trail any day of the week.

That said though, in my professional life I have encountered a surprisingly huge number of people who just cannot write clearly. It baffles me. Ultimately, to each their own, and I’ll try to meet people where they’re at. But I much prefer written formats.

In addition to everything else, there’s also a feedback loop of spam calls predominating. The more legit conversation moves to other methods, the more spam calls stick out. That, in turn, means even more people prefer something other than phone calls. It eventually gets to the point where 99% of calls are spam, and that whole method of communication becomes useless.

I say this as an autist who used to fucking loathe talking on the phone: Its that the phone takes up too much mental energy and time, yet has a time limit on your own responses. Its hellishly stressful when you are socially incompetent, and now a lot of even non-autistic people are becoming socially incompetent.

Now its funny, I hated phone calls back when everyone liked them. Now I’m pretty OK at them because I worked at a call center for a year and now it seems like everyone now hates phone calls. I kinda recognize that the one nice thing about phone calls is there is no “set up your account before ordering your food” type bullshit. There is a consistency to phone calls.

Two words for me. Read. Receipts. I have found that someone will inevitably text me and say, “why didn’t you respond?” Fucker. You texted me. Want me to actually engage with you? Call me. Otherwise you’re now at my mercy.

I prefer calling because it’s easy to silence and just let it go to VM if I am busy. Call back immediately and that’s usually a sign of being needed.

Its my right to be not reachable, outside of work i will take time for your matter when its fitting for me.

And im forgetful and prefer to be able read important information again.

Thats why my phone is always on mute and my voice recorder tells people my email address.

101 UNSCHEDULED VIDEO CALL

One thing that severely degrades the usefulness of the phone network is all the spam calls. It’s all I get these days. I can’t just call someone and have them pick up because nobody answers calls from unknown numbers.

It’s especially frustrating when I’m waiting for a call, like for a delivery, and have to pick up every unknown number.

ETA: Also, the immediacy of phone calls make them mainly used for emergencies. If I get a call from someone I know the first thought is “oh god what’s wrong?”

So I don’t call people because I don’t want to freak them out.

In a world where async communication is effortless, demanding immediate attention is antisocial.

You’re saying that you don’t care what I’m doing at the moment. You want my full attention immediately. Even leaving a message is more of a time waste than a simple text message

1. don’t call unless it’s urgent
2. if you’re calling me it’s not urgent

This doesn’t apply to landlines, ofc

Basically, as soon as other reliable methods became widely adopted. No, I don’t have any phone call related anxiety or whatever, I’ll call someone if I really need to, I would just rather not. I’d much rather get a text that says, “Hey, we’re meeting up at 7pm to go out and do, XYZ, do you want to come?” than a phone call that starts with that and turns to “So anyway, did I tell you my mom blah, blah, blah… And I don’t know what to say, because I kind of want to go, but it would be a lot blah, blah, blah.”

Phone calls with friends and family have a way of spiraling off into tangents when I don’t necessarily have the time to entertain them, but don’t want to be a dick all the time telling people I don’t have time at the moment to listen to them. If there’s a self-service section to a company’s website or app, I can usually do whatever I need faster than it would take me to get through the automated menus and hold music to call and have them do it. Like my pharmacy, if I want to refill a prescription online, I log in, check a box and hit submit. Done. If I call them, I need to go through three menus to get patched through to the pharmacy, tell them what I want, hold for a moment while they help someone in the store, give them my info and wait for them to look it up, etc.

When I plan to meet up with people, I make plenty of time to talk to them and listen to whatever. When I get what I think is going to be a short phone call that devolves into tangents, I don’t necessarily have the time to entertain whether the fact that my friend’s cousin had his toe amputated due to gangrene means he should get the spot on his nipple tested for leprosy, or if he should just improve his personal hygiene and see if it washes off in the shower.

If something really is going to be a pain to communicate via text, schedule that conversation and we can have a call to discuss it, but I’m not answering phone calls whenever somebody calls out of the blue unless I’m interviewing for jobs or expecting a call about some sort of emergency.

Easy:

Between ages 13 and 18 if I received a phone call it was because I was in trouble, so now when I get one there is a pang of guilt and panic over whatever it is I could have possibly done

For me, calls interrupt my workflow with things that don’t need immediate attention anyway. So it draws focus away unnecessarily.

I also prefer to have a written record of things if they’re important. That way you can always refer back to it. A phone call just annoys me at best and divides my attention. So it’s in their interest as well that I can respond when I’ve got time.

Because the more serious discussion the more time I want to have to be able to convey myself concisely and prepared. Phone calls can be awkward and reactionary. plus how the fuck have we not yet solved phone audio quality and consistency problems.

Phone calls used to be better when they were analog land lines. The fidelity(idk if that’s the right word, but go ahead and catch my drift) was amazing.

You could hear every breath, every intonation in voice, every shift in body language. I think our subconscious works on stuff like that a lot more than anyone cares to admit. Every phone conversation you’ve had in the past 10 years has been digitally compressed.

The headsets themselves were ergonomic. Easy to use, fit the face and head alot better than the phones we use nowadays.