I don’t know if I’m just becoming overly sensitive to my own language or if this is an actual issue, so feel free to let me know if it seems that I just need to grow thicker skin, but still.
I keep getting this uneasy feeling whenever I use the word “lame” and I think it’s because I’m starting to realize it’s technically ableist. However, there’s no single non-profane word that I know of that fits the niche that I use it in.
For example, I wrote out something earlier about a behavior I do that I don’t like that I do because I think it’s kind of shitty behavior, but it’s overall harmless. I use lame to describe it casually. I could also call it kind of shitty, as I did before, but not to audiences that I don’t want to use profanity around.
Anyone know of a word I can replace “lame” with?
I’d say maybe weak, but that’s got its own baggage that I’m not sure I’m ok with switching to. Annoying is too strong of a word for what I’m going for. Maybe lame is a short word for “this makes me feel slightly sad”?
Idk, so I open it up to the public: Is this even an issue or am I being too sensitive? Could this be solved in a single replacement word or do I need a whole ass phrase to express this?
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My problem with lame is that it tends to be a way to cut people down including youself. Pretty much comments involving lame tend to come out as pretty lame most of the time.
Generally be easy on people and hard on problems. Better to be more specific or accurate or say nothing at all.
As for you, stop cutting youself down with value judgements. Instead just say to youself … an opportunity for improvement. And be more specific about your concrete action plan.
By the way, the word “weak” has the same issues.
“Cringe” is seemingly used that way in current slang, though with an added layer of thought.
Cringe is far too overused IMHO. Especially online.
If something is “lame” it’s probably unoriginal, derivative, boring, or annoying.
Cringe is just too visceral for what I’m describing though.
Lame would be a 3/10 while cringe would be like a 5/10, using cringe in its least meaningful form. A full on cringe is like a 8/10 (and depending on who I’m talking to, it seems to sometimes hit like a 10/10)
“Cringe” doesn’t have the emotional devastation that “lame” with an eyeroll does, at least according to my mother.
Your mother is wrong:
IDC lame but I’d move mountains to avoid being cringe
“Cringe” is still a verb to many people, and being understanding of different interpretations leads to better dialogue. Knowing how to bridge those gaps with effective language can lead to intergenerational cooperation.
Pure snark which I hope you’ll see is intended to show I’m saying this as some gentle ribbing and not to put down your perspective.
You try telling my mother she’s wrong, I’m not fighting that woman over something subjective like “cringe” lol
Only because your mom grew up with lame. If she was your age and grew up with cringe, it would hit the same way. I’m a bit in that group, I just am very attached to language so am a bit more sensitive to how it’s used to see the parallels.
Oh I’m not disagreeing, cringe is 1000% worse than lame to me. I just think it’s really funny how devastated she would be every time I said something she liked was “lame”.
Bogus!
Bogus still sort of means fake though…
Maybe I’m getting too old to understand the lingo, but I thought that’s what ‘mid’ was for? Not good, but not bad enough to warrant a stronger reaction. Just mid.
I wouldn’t describe “only texting someone when you need something” as mid though, if that helps at all
I feel like lame is cool as mid is to awesome. They’re like words for positions on spectrums of stuff, but two different spectrums.
Maybe a simple “uncool” would suffice for OP.
To me, the definition of ‘lame’ meaning like a lame leg or something is too dated to be the first thing most people think of in most contexts.
As a rancher “lame” is in regular usage, but it’s something that happens to animals and not to people.
A person with a persistent leg injury would simply be referred to with a sentence like “Jim’s got a bad leg, he’s walked like that since a bull ran him over”
Good friend of mine has a gimpy leg after 2 too many motorcycle accidents. He is lucky to have one of them at all. I dont think “lame” has ever come up in context of him or his infirmary.
‘Gimpy’ in this context is definitely an ablist slur.
That’s my thinking too. It’s too removed from its roots to really have a negative context for most folks.
Coming up with an alternative to the word “lame” seems like the wrong way go about this. To you, a lame thing is a thing you don’t like. That’s what it means to me, I’d wager that’s what it means to a lot of people. Saying it is a knee-jerk reaction. Any word you pick to replace it will have the same negative connotation. Instead of picking a short word to use to describe a thing you don’t like, stop and think about why you don’t like the thing and use that reason as your statement of disapproval. Or, if you’re just saying you don’t like a thing, maybe that sentiment doesn’t need to be expressed.
if you’re just saying you don’t like a thing, maybe that sentiment doesn’t need to be expressed.
That sounds like a way to become a double-plus-good citizen. Disapproval and dissent are essential parts of social communication, which doesn’t always allow to explain yourself in detail.
The point is the word ‘lame’ was originally ableist and using it makes op uncomfortable, even if the meaning changed with time.
Yes, I know. I’m not a nimrod.
They were asking for alternatives and I provided one.
It’s a real issue. I think the kids say “downbad” though that’s a little more emphatic. “Square” might work if you’re willing to go old-school. “Disappointing”, “suboptimal”, “lousy” all work in certain contexts.
Moron, imbecile, and dullard came out of eugenics IIRC. Does “lame” have that origin too?
I’ve heard it used to refer to injured or weakened legs, as well as the creature they’re attached to. As in, “the cow was lame because of its injured hoof.” I’ve heard it used to refer to something that is boring or disappointing. “That movie was lame.” or “That was lame.”
I wouldn’t doubt that there is some negative connotation for it though. Terrible people tend to take innocuous words and twist them to suit their schemes.
Moron, imbecile, and dullard came out of eugenics IIRC
They were used in law texts before the eugenics movement… people were just fine with dehumanizing language back then.
The same people that pushed the Eugenics movement were probably the same people that got those into the law texts however.
Kind of.
Plato in 400BC already proposed breeding out the “weak”, so it’s not like the idea of eugenics is particularly new.
The word “moron” was created in the 20th century as a “scientific” word… by one of the main proponents of the modern eugenics movement, which started in the 19th century, with no prior use, so yeah, that one is definitely burned.
“Dullard” comes from 10th century English, already with a derogatory meaning, but it seems like English preferred using “lunatic”, “mad” or “insane” in its legal wording.
“Idiot” comes from ancient Greek meaning “layman”, “ignorant”, later “illiterate”, and only in the 14th centuries it came to mean “stupid” or “mentally deficient”, and then it went on to differentiate the “mentally deficient” from the “lunatics” (mentally ill).
“Imbecile” is more interesting, it seems to stem from the Latin “in-bacillus” or “without little staff”… which has gone through the meanings of “weak”, “cowardly”, “impotent”… and knowing Romans and their insults, is likely to have started as just “dickless”, which is kind of mild for the period. There is however some 17th century legal stuff where women got considered as invalid witnesses “because of imbecility and sexual frailty”, which seems to be about when the word took its modern meaning.
Overall, the Eugenics movement seems to have mostly used words that were already established for centuries, just pushed them a few steps farther.
Reminds me of “Hysteria” which was effectively just the medical excuse to penalize women for getting “uppity.” Nowadays, there’s even one that the police have been using recently called “excited delirium” or something, which is what they try to compel coroners to use when they kill someone through unreasonable levels of force when those people fight for their lives.
The story of “hysteria” starts at around 2000BC, in ancient Egypt, when they thought the uterus was a sort of “animal” that could wander around the body. At least it had an easy symptomatic solution, not exactly a penalty for the women reaching “paroxysmal convulsions”, and it devolved into the invention of the vibrator, with its cheap hand-cranked version, and poor Hitachi unable to separate its brand from the wand no matter how much they try. With a sad irony, it did play a role in the eugenics… hysteria? of the 19th-20th centuries. The film by the same name, may have painted a slightly different picture.
I didn’t know of “excited delirium”, and apparently the term has been withdrawn, it’s “hyperactive delirium syndrome” starting this year… remains to be seen whether it keeps targeting tased black males in restraints (damn, the US has a big problem).
English is not my native language, and I’ve had the origins of “lame” explained to me as well.
I started using “How dull” or “x activity seems dull” and apparently it still gives off the same amount of ennui as using “lame”, so you might try that?
That’s a good idea too. I think the word I was looking for was “inconsiderate” but these are fantastic solutions for other situations as well!
Banal
Maybe dull or boring?
I’ve also stopped using the word ‘dumb’ when referring to ‘stupid’. Nowadays I only use the word dumb for muteness, and I rarely even use that word anymore, mostly mute.
I’m not mute, but to me, using “dumb” to describe someone who is mute sounds… worse? It feels like the equivalent of recognizing that “crazy” has baggage and not using it in everyday speech, but continuing to use it to describe mentally ill people. I understand that it’s not a perfect comparison, but it feels like sometimes, words become too enmeshed in their modern-day insulting uses to feel okay using them to describe a community, even if it is the technical definition of the word.
If anyone who is mute/nonverbal/nonspeaking sees this and I’m wrong - please let me know!! I don’t mean to overstep, I just want to share my perspective.
I gotta agree with you.
It feels like dumb has more baggage than meaning to the point that the baggage has become the meaning. I feel like lame is on the precipice of having the same problem, which is kind of a big motivator for me making this post to begin with.
Is that a bad thing, though?
Language evolves, words start by describing something, to become euphemisms for something else, to become swears, to end up as a description of the swear, and ultimately get either reused as a description of something else, or fall out of use.
Sounds to me like “lame” or “dumb” are quite far gone on that progression, to the point of becoming detached from the original meaning for most people. It’s great to avoid using them with the slur meaning, or in presence of those who understand it as a slur… but spreading awareness of, or teaching, the negative meaning to people who might have never encountered it, sounds like pushing the progression backwards, entrenching the word as a slur even among those who don’t use it as one.
Depends on what you’re trying to express.
Lame could mean, boring, pathetic, underwhelming, dissapointing, etc.
“That concert last night was so lame.” (Dissapointing, boring, underwhelming)
“My friend is so lame to roadtrip with.” (Boring, annoying)
“The warranty my TV came with is super lame.” (Pathetic, overpriced)
“Flag day is the lamest federal holiday” (most ridiculous)
The point is the word ‘lame’ was originally ableist, though people don’t really use it that way anymore.
Shitty
I like “bogus” or “whack”
Your Alma Mater is whack!
That’s a good one, I like that. Thanks for the suggestion!
I do like using Whack yeah
Disappointing, lacklustre, underwhelming, missing, sad, less considered.
I think it is good to reflect on the language we use, but also to be forgiving of ourselves if making the improvements we want to implement isn’t always totally smooth.
This post made me realize that the word I’m looking for is likely “inconsiderate”. Thank you! Sad is definitely close too.
And I agree, I try not to be too hard on myself when I slip on language I prefer to use. I don’t think being too hard on myself is productive in any way anymore.
