I don’t know if I’m just becoming overly sensitive to my own language or if this is an actual issue, so feel free to let me know if it seems that I just need to grow thicker skin, but still.
I keep getting this uneasy feeling whenever I use the word “lame” and I think it’s because I’m starting to realize it’s technically ableist. However, there’s no single non-profane word that I know of that fits the niche that I use it in.
For example, I wrote out something earlier about a behavior I do that I don’t like that I do because I think it’s kind of shitty behavior, but it’s overall harmless. I use lame to describe it casually. I could also call it kind of shitty, as I did before, but not to audiences that I don’t want to use profanity around.
Anyone know of a word I can replace “lame” with?
I’d say maybe weak, but that’s got its own baggage that I’m not sure I’m ok with switching to. Annoying is too strong of a word for what I’m going for. Maybe lame is a short word for “this makes me feel slightly sad”?
Idk, so I open it up to the public: Is this even an issue or am I being too sensitive? Could this be solved in a single replacement word or do I need a whole ass phrase to express this?
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Maybe dull or boring?
I’ve also stopped using the word ‘dumb’ when referring to ‘stupid’. Nowadays I only use the word dumb for muteness, and I rarely even use that word anymore, mostly mute.
I’m not mute, but to me, using “dumb” to describe someone who is mute sounds… worse? It feels like the equivalent of recognizing that “crazy” has baggage and not using it in everyday speech, but continuing to use it to describe mentally ill people. I understand that it’s not a perfect comparison, but it feels like sometimes, words become too enmeshed in their modern-day insulting uses to feel okay using them to describe a community, even if it is the technical definition of the word.
If anyone who is mute/nonverbal/nonspeaking sees this and I’m wrong - please let me know!! I don’t mean to overstep, I just want to share my perspective.
I gotta agree with you.
It feels like dumb has more baggage than meaning to the point that the baggage has become the meaning. I feel like lame is on the precipice of having the same problem, which is kind of a big motivator for me making this post to begin with.
Is that a bad thing, though?
Language evolves, words start by describing something, to become euphemisms for something else, to become swears, to end up as a description of the swear, and ultimately get either reused as a description of something else, or fall out of use.
Sounds to me like “lame” or “dumb” are quite far gone on that progression, to the point of becoming detached from the original meaning for most people. It’s great to avoid using them with the slur meaning, or in presence of those who understand it as a slur… but spreading awareness of, or teaching, the negative meaning to people who might have never encountered it, sounds like pushing the progression backwards, entrenching the word as a slur even among those who don’t use it as one.
It’s a real issue. I think the kids say “downbad” though that’s a little more emphatic. “Square” might work if you’re willing to go old-school. “Disappointing”, “suboptimal”, “lousy” all work in certain contexts.
“Unfortunate”, maybe.
This post is so FlickOfTheBean (Just kidding, of course. I sometimes use “meh” around people who know what a meme is, or “lukewarm” around more older or formal people)
To me, the definition of ‘lame’ meaning like a lame leg or something is too dated to be the first thing most people think of in most contexts.
As a rancher “lame” is in regular usage, but it’s something that happens to animals and not to people.
A person with a persistent leg injury would simply be referred to with a sentence like “Jim’s got a bad leg, he’s walked like that since a bull ran him over”
Good friend of mine has a gimpy leg after 2 too many motorcycle accidents. He is lucky to have one of them at all. I dont think “lame” has ever come up in context of him or his infirmary.
‘Gimpy’ in this context is definitely an ablist slur.
That’s my thinking too. It’s too removed from its roots to really have a negative context for most folks.
Uncool or cringe maybe? Boring might also fit.
Personally, I think it’s fantastic that you’re examining your language in this way. It’s certainly not ill-mannered, unsolicitous, infelicitous, or untoward of you to do so.
Ahh those are all fantastic, thank you!
Maybe use “sucks”? Or “uncool” (“That thing I did was so uncool. It was really sucky.”) would probably be my top suggestions.
I have seen signs hung around nearby schools trying to get the word “gay” out of common use to mean the same thing that “lame” is used for, but I don’t remember a lot of the things that were on the list. If I find a copy of the sign (or one like it) I’ll add it. (ok, that was 5 years ago, so they may not still be used? … That’s naive, even for me.)
As someone else said, though, I think it’s used so infrequently to mean “disabled” in modern English, that you probably don’t have to worry about it.
Maybe use “sucks”?
“Sucks” has homophobic/misogynist roots, though, and they’re much more recent than the ableist usage of “lame”. Even the 1950’s version of “sucks eggs” wasn’t actually talking about the things that come from a chicken.
Thanks, I didn’t realize that, either. I always thought it literal eggs, or literal lemons, or literal donkey-balls… (none of which sound pleasant to me)
This whole thread is enlightening to me, so thanks for asking and making your language more inclusive, OP!
Yeah if I say something sucks, I find myself often adding “and not in a good way”.
Also, I like using “weak-sauce” if I have to watch my language - I think I’m too old to use “cringe” as often, unless it’s, like, really cringe.
P.s. I’m disabled, walking problems, bad back, one leg a little shorter than the other… I use “lame” to mean shitty/uncouth/sucky/disappointing/boring and don’t take offense to it…
Weak-sauce is the exact essence of what I’m trying to get at, but it’s too… Millennial… Like, internally there’s no issue with using it, but saying/typing it out to someone older than me feels distinctly cringe (in the lightest sense, though lol just like something you’re not supposed to do, you know?)
I’m a Millennial and “weak sauce” sounds pretty cringe. Or as someone said in this thread, infelicitous. It’s very 2010s. It had its time; it’s time we moved on from it, collectively lol…
(I had to check where I fall these days, since I thought of myself as Gen X forever, especially vs Millennial, but I guess I’m a Xennial?)
Anyway, I feel like “cringe” is in this same bucket :-P
No cap?
I literally had to look that up in Urban Dictionary when I started hearing that. I think that’s a sign haha…
“Cringe” is seemingly used that way in current slang, though with an added layer of thought.
“Cringe” doesn’t have the emotional devastation that “lame” with an eyeroll does, at least according to my mother.
Only because your mom grew up with lame. If she was your age and grew up with cringe, it would hit the same way. I’m a bit in that group, I just am very attached to language so am a bit more sensitive to how it’s used to see the parallels.
Oh I’m not disagreeing, cringe is 1000% worse than lame to me. I just think it’s really funny how devastated she would be every time I said something she liked was “lame”.
Your mother is wrong:
IDC lame but I’d move mountains to avoid being cringe
You try telling my mother she’s wrong, I’m not fighting that woman over something subjective like “cringe” lol
“Cringe” is still a verb to many people, and being understanding of different interpretations leads to better dialogue. Knowing how to bridge those gaps with effective language can lead to intergenerational cooperation.
Pure snark which I hope you’ll see is intended to show I’m saying this as some gentle ribbing and not to put down your perspective.
Cringe is just too visceral for what I’m describing though.
Lame would be a 3/10 while cringe would be like a 5/10, using cringe in its least meaningful form. A full on cringe is like a 8/10 (and depending on who I’m talking to, it seems to sometimes hit like a 10/10)
Cringe is far too overused IMHO. Especially online.
If something is “lame” it’s probably unoriginal, derivative, boring, or annoying.
Shitty
English is not my native language, and I’ve had the origins of “lame” explained to me as well.
I started using “How dull” or “x activity seems dull” and apparently it still gives off the same amount of ennui as using “lame”, so you might try that?
That’s a good idea too. I think the word I was looking for was “inconsiderate” but these are fantastic solutions for other situations as well!
As someone else here mentioned, language is only one tiny component of ableism. What would be much more impactful is to figure out in what ways you can make the spaces you have control over and inhabit more accessible. Personally, I’d find it much more helpful to do things like not wear heavy perfumes in public, avoid bringing your dog into enclosed spaces where you share air with others, or make sure your clothes aren’t covered in cat hair before you leave the house. In my experience, nobody really focuses on air quality or their affect on it, and this would go much further toward making the world a more accommodating place than fretting about a term that’s mostly used for horses and bad jokes.
I’m sure there are other things you can do to be accommodating of different disabilities, all of which are probably more worth the thought!
Maybe I’m getting too old to understand the lingo, but I thought that’s what ‘mid’ was for? Not good, but not bad enough to warrant a stronger reaction. Just mid.
I feel like lame is cool as mid is to awesome. They’re like words for positions on spectrums of stuff, but two different spectrums.
Maybe a simple “uncool” would suffice for OP.
I wouldn’t describe “only texting someone when you need something” as mid though, if that helps at all
I like “bogus” or “whack”
Your Alma Mater is whack!
I do like using Whack yeah
That’s a good one, I like that. Thanks for the suggestion!
It’s really nice seeing people understanding that reducing the use of a word because of compassion is not a bad thing. Good work on examing your language.
I’d also encourage people to have a look at the words they use to describe erratic or unexplainable things. My partner has mental health issues, and hearing people constantly using “insane” and all of its fellows became really alienating for them. It’s bizarre how quickly you start to find alternative words you forgot existed.
