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no banana to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world • 5 months ago

Stop touching your stuff!

lemmy.world

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Stop touching your stuff!

lemmy.world

no banana to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world • 5 months ago
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  • @DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world
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    6•5 months ago

    Sex gives you STI STOP SEX NOW

    • @PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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      5•5 months ago

      Oh fuck, for free???
      I love Subaru

  • 👍Maximum Derek👍
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    45•5 months ago

    I hate being on ladders, I’ll stay down here with the penises.

    • Midnight Wolf
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      5•5 months ago

      Hello.

  • @Omgboom@lemmy.zip
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    5•5 months ago

    Even if I have a Jacob’s ladder?

  • Boomer Humor Doomergod
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    30•5 months ago

    Thanks for assuming it’s a handful

  • @ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works
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    52•
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    5 months ago

    You can hang on to the penis of someone who’s climbing.

    • unalivejoy
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      30•5 months ago

      You can also buy an auto-jacker and go hands free.

      • @rockSlayer@lemmy.world
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        21•5 months ago

        I love living in the future

      • @DickFiasco@lemm.ee
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        5•5 months ago

        Does the auto-jacker go on the penis or the ladder? Honestly sounds like it could work for either one.

        • @slackassassin@sh.itjust.works
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          4•5 months ago

          Don’t let them upsell you on an auto jacker, the manual ones work just fine.

  • Diplomjodler
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    11•5 months ago

    Wait, I have to climb all the way up there? No thanks. I’ll rather stay down here and spank the monkey.

  • @Omgboom@lemmy.zip
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    1•5 months ago

    deleted by creator

  • Match!!
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    2•5 months ago

    me, who’s played Getting Over It:

  • @lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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    4•5 months ago

    I didn’t think we were supposed to climb to heaven. Isn’t that what the tower of Babel was about?

  • @DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Hetero women, bisexuals and gay guys might just… Stop at that level and stay for a bit.

    I’m going to keep climbing until the ladder turns into titties.

  • @PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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    5•5 months ago

    Unless you’re climbing a penis ladder

  • @HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world
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    2•5 months ago

    Level up, try using your mouth instead

  • @PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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    4•5 months ago

    No… I like touching myself way too much

    • @Dabundis@lemmy.world
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      5•5 months ago

      You will never touch your penis with your hands full of heaven ladder

      • @PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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        1•5 months ago

        Bold of you to assume I want to go to heaven with all of those “good Christians”

        I would consider that an eternal punishment

        • @DickFiasco@lemm.ee
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          2•5 months ago

          That sounds like my version of hell.

          • @PattyMcB@lemmy.world
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            1•5 months ago

            You and me both, brother

  • Zloubida
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    19•
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    5 months ago

    I know it’s shitposting, but even if we accept the idea that God would be interested by what you do with your own body when you’re alone, isn’t the whole point of the Bible that you don’t have to climb to go to heaven, but accept God’s grace?

    I.don’t understand evangelicalism.

    • no bananaOP
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      8•5 months ago

      Some would even argue that the point isn’t to accept god’s grace but to be a good neighbor and take care of your fellow man.

      • Zloubida
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        1•5 months ago

        Yes, I agree. I meant the point about heaven 🙂.

    • no bananaOP
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      4•5 months ago

      Some would even argue that the point isn’t to accept god’s grace but to be a good neighbor and take care of your fellow man.

  • @Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world
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    5•5 months ago

    I mean, wouldn’t you have fairly strong grip strength with a lot of “practice?”

    • @bstix@feddit.dk
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      1•5 months ago

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death-grip_syndrome

      • @Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world
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        3•5 months ago

        I guess someone with that condition could climb the ladder in a hurricane.

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