Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can’t afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
I understand this will sound crazy. I started running, a lot. A few half marathons per year. It’s a juxtaposition of enjoying the benefits and hating the activity.
The biggest benefit is being able to handle more stress, and deal with the stress better, in general. I tell myself during the first mile (as it’s the most difficult to start), “I am expanding my capacity to endurance stress and suffering” it’s shifted the way I look at problems.
A recent example: I paid a contractor to build a wall to split a room, and to install new flooring on the floor. It looked nice. A year later, I encountered a problem in the bathroom that exposed a leak that’s probably existed since the work was done. The bathroom is being torn apart and completely redone by me. I’m not thrilled, and was absolutely pissed at first, but it’s subsided much faster than it used to. I can’t afford to hire someone again, but I do have another bathroom to use during this process, so it can wait. It’s shifted my perspective, and I’m seeing this now as “expanding a set of skills that can be useful again” instead of completely dreading it. Of course I prefer this didn’t happen 😊 but wishing reality is different doesn’t help anything.
Maybe take a moment to appreciate the incredible privilege you have to own your home. Nearly everyone reading this will never get to own a home.
It’s been far more expensive than renting. We bought a house with a lot of problems and kt8a struggle. I would never call it a privilege. It’s like buying a car built in 1983 with 500,000 miles.
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Oh, I want to so much. But I can’t convince the wife.
Then quit complaining and accept your choices
All this is part of the game. What you save on not paying a landlord you pay in time keeping up with the place. Every ant and water drip is a challenge that you get to learn about fixing and make it your own. We’re all lucky we live in a time where you can learn how to do anything from the internet.
Know when to bodge a fix, and when to nut up and spend some time and money on something. Damp mouldy patch on the ceiling? Have a look in the ceiling space, see if you can spot the issue, fix it if it’s easy. Slap some mould killer on it, done, don’t worry about it. If it comes back? Get it fixed.
Writing shit down helps. I’ve got a whole todo list of things that need to be fixed. It’s shitty how long it is, but because it’s written down it’s already half taken care of and I don’t have that random stress of ‘oh good that’s right there’s a leaky shower’ and having to remember to do that thing.
List the issues, google one by one how to bodge it, decide if it’s worth it.
If you have a damp moldy spot on a ceiling, that’s likely leaking from the roof. Roof leaks can be very difficult to find; if you have asphalt shingles that are starting to curl at the corners, then it’s probably just time to replace them, along with flashing. Thankfully, depending on the pitch of your roof, re-roofing isn’t that awful. It gets ugly it you have a really steep roof pitch, or if you have an flat EPDM roof in a brick home.
I know it is cheesy, but look at every maintenance project as an opportunity for learning a new DIY skill.
Start going to garage sales and flea markets to collect tools.
It helps if you can chitchat with someone IRL about mutual homeowner issues.
Homeownership is man’s continuous battle against water.
I agree so much with the water thing. I spent two days on reshaping my yard
I’m trying to convince myself I need a table saw to replace a rotten board in my deck.
One board? Hell no. Circular saw it. If you don’t own a circ saw, buy that instead
Yah, I was going to just get a board cut but this is an excuse to buy a new tool, right?
Homeownership is man’s continuous battle against water.
Yeah, a heck of a lot of household troubles can be put on the backburner, but anything involving water intrusion needs to be fixed right away.
My home is from the 1890s and has a sandstone foundation with no footer. It leaks ground water, but only after a torrential downpour or when a lot of snow melts. Sandstone was not designed to ever be completely watertight. Leaks are incredibly common due to it just being a stack of rocks in the ground.
Luckily it all leaks right into an old grey water line in the floor. It tends to slowly fill up, then makes its way back into the earth either through that or my brick floor.
It can be a little gross and stressful at times but I’m waiting til spring to install a sump pump
I know some people with a similar house. I guess the bright news is that when a house gets that old, but it’s still standing, you probably have some time, lol.
shitty…fixer upper
You have the best kind of house! Since its market value is already low you don’t have to worry about all the stupid shit people fret over when their house is too valuable.
What’s leaking?
How old are the cracks? If they’re old, then whatever shifted already happened and no longer matters. Just keep an eye for new ones. Like a casual eye. Don’t obsess over it.
It gets boring to worry. Now I just view it as a cosy box that I’ll occasionally have to patch up. Also, getting comfortable with DIY, especially that first scary ‘dive in’ moment where you have to cut the wire, drill the wall, or pull up the board. Over time it all just gets as normal and run of the mill as cracking an egg for an omelette.
Oh, the stress? I remind myself that renters in my area are now paying twice what my mortgage is, and I bought just three years ago. It’s a quick boost, and believe me, I’ve got at least a dozen fixes myself to do that I don’t have the energy or money for.
If that’s not enough, take a few weekends to at least hit what you can. Make a list and tackle things slowly as to not get overwhelmed. One by one, step by step.
For example, I used a week break to paint the kids room and it feels like a brand new home, even patching cracks and dealing with water damaged ceiling drywall (was minor, and the roofing was already fixed before I moved in). The rest of the house needs it, but it still made me feel like I did something.
And the more you open up to fix the more systemic problems you find. In an old/fixer house. Try to pick one project at a time. Spend some money when u have too. Have seen some smart people locate home improvement grants for upgrades/HVAC. You’ll need to spend money. No avoiding it. In a couple years you’ll forget how bad it all seemed and get used to the minor annoyances you haven’t gotten too. And don’t forget to learn some things. Buy a bug pump sprayer and specific chemicals on line. Learn how important gutters are and getting storm water away from the foundations. Get some rugs to cover the gaps and caulk the cracks. Most importantly A good partner for the decorating to make u forget it’s a shitty house no matter how much work you put in
To answer your question I just drink a lot.
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You’re still better off owning a house and paying for repairs than paying rent. Even with the cost of repairs it’s most likely cheaper in the long run and you’re your own landlord.
Try to only tackle one project at a time. It gets exponentially more stressful trying to juggle a bunch of incomplete projects. Also, you’ll never be “done”. That’s not the point. The point is shelter and comfort.
This is probably some of the best advice here. It’s important to prioritize what is going to be the most costly if you don’t fix it now, and if you try to do 7 things at once, you will feel like none of them will ever be done, which contributes to your stress more than still having 6 broken things after fixing one.
The biggest advice I can give is put systems in place to reduce as much as possible the list of things you have to manage freeing up your mind and time to solve more complex issues.
Stick a hose on the dehumidifier route into the drain never empty it again as an example where as before you emptied it daily or every 2 days.
Good example.
In a similar vein: setup alarms. Smoke detectors is an easy one, but also water leakage detectors. If feeling adventurous, maybe logging of water/power usage as well to catch slow leaks.
I’m generally not a fan of IoT devices, but I know some people with a water metering device that will detect any leaks, and can be configured to easily shut water off in the event of detected high flows indicating a burst pipe. You can also shut water off when you go on vacation so you don’t have to worry about it.
If the hose-to-drain route isn’t feasible, many dehumidifiers come with a built in pump, so it will pump water out when the tank is full. These can go against a hydraulic head, so you could even put one in a basement with no plumbing, and run the drain line upstairs to a drain.
Also, you probably know this, but for anyone else, don’t bother with any dehumidifiers that run on a Peltier element instead of a compressor. They will be slightly cheaper, but they’ll use the same amount of energy for like 1/20th of the capability. They advertise them as “quiet” or “compressor free”, but just don’t do it.
I solved this by selling my house and outsourcing all those bullshit problems to the landlord.
I can’t think of a time I’ve ever had a landlord fix a problem. I wish I lived somewhere that you could just deduct repair costs from the rent, or otherwise withhold rent.
You might want to look into Nolo’s articles & books https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/renters-rights
Not a home owner yet, but I just purchased a home and waiting on the handover.
This post has been really helpful! Certainly in writing some stuff down to remember 😅
I learned to fix it. Before YouTube, that usually means not so great. But now, I usually do at least as good as a job as the people I’d hire.
Fixing stuff is easy, and you have to accept that there’s no perfect fix.
Ants, set out ant bait traps. Look outside and see if there’s a trail, follow it to the source, and spray it with ant poison.
Cracks, YouTube that. They may be nothing.
Leaks, if it’s plumbing, you can buy pipes at home Depot and replace them.
Granted, it will take a while. Maybe all day. But you’ll get an endorphin rush when it’s done and eventually you’ll come to know all the ins and outs of your house.
But it’s you look at it and it’s too big, Google a company to do it. Even if you’re halfway, and find you’re stuck. No shame in getting help. This shines you don’t have a family member or friend who’s already handy.
But really, if you can’t fix it, can’t afford to have it fixed, just do what you can to keep the house clean and work on it a little bit or put aside money till you can. That’s hard, but that’s owning a house. Like anything in life, it’s difficult. But it doesn’t have to stay that way, with enough time and practice.
You’re already smarter than many, asking for other’s opinions. Don’t suffer in silence. I believe in you!
no perfect fix
And if you need convincing, go measure some parts of your house. Peak around in places and see how its actually assembled compared to how you thought it would be. Then realize it hasn’t fallen over yet, so maybe perfection doesn’t matter.
I’ve just been making a wardrobe in an alcove where in the space of 1200mm they have managed to be out by 40mm (1.5 inches in 4ft for our American folks) Trying to be within 1-2mm and deciding on referencing a side wall that’s curved but making the room “more square”, and having a variable depth wardrobe or making something that looks right but that I know is a parallelogram. Either way a future guy with a tape measure will ask “what idiot built this?”
We all want to believe that these rooms actually follow geometry with things like parallel/perpendicular walls.
Great advice. Here’s another hint for first timers: you’re going to get it wrong. Spend half a day replacing a faucet, following all the instructions and the collective wisdom of YouTube. Turn the water back on and… drip, drip.
Patching drywall, fixing a drawer slide, replacing a loose electrical outlet… No matter how much you read or watch there is some finesse to each. Practice and experience will make it so you get it right the first time more often, and then when you’re an old person like me you reach a point where you can pretty much do it better than the fly-by-night contractor you’d hire.
One more piece of advice. Don’t mess with live electricity. Wall current can stop your heart instantly or start a fire in the middle of the night. Turn off breakers and be diligent about tightening connections and keeping things to code, but don’t be too afraid of it. A little bit of awareness is all it takes. And the first time you turn that breaker back on it may pop, then you’ll see what went wrong and never make that mistake again.
I know I said one more, but here is one more “one more”. Hit yard sales or estate sales for cheap tools. You’ll have to do this proactively and not when you actually need them. Usually you can pick up stuff for pennies on the dollar. An old caulk gun, adjustable wrench, half box of drywall screws… All good to pickup on the cheap.
I know DIY isn’t everyone’s favorite past time, but after the first few things you tackle you might find it actually enjoyable. I know the combination of saving money, securing my home’s integrity, and completing a job well done is something I look forward to.
And if you are not 100% confident, take lots of pics as you go. And every step, do something that you figure you can undo. Worse case scenario, it goes back to how it was…
