• @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      411 days ago

      It’s… Not? Anger is a response to you feeling wronged by someone or something. In the case of the article, dude prolly felt entitled to that spot. Was it dumb? Of course. Was it due to fear of anything? I’d wager a guess that it wasn’t

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    1011 days ago

    The man in the story is an asshole and weak for sure.

    I really hate the idea of saying having any emotion is a sign of weakness though, even rage.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      411 days ago

      How else are we going to bully and abuse men if we can’t characterize their normal and rational human emotions as the very thing they are most afraid of being!?

      /s

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    4113 days ago

    Testosterone and never being taught emotional regulation techniques is a hell of a combo.

    When I was first starting to work through deeply repressed childhood sexual abuse related trauma I was a fucking menace.

    The only people that I really think understand how much of a liability being juiced full of testosterone in society would be trans women who have faced hrt scarcity. The stories she told me about the night and day difference in her ability to process things was very interesting.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      1012 days ago

      My boyfriend was raised by his parents to appear strong and to obey, even if he disagreed or if doing so was harmful to him.

      And that type of childhood resulted in disparity between his actions and his feelings, which he is still trying untangle.

    • fracture [he/him]
      link
      fedilink
      9
      edit-2
      11 days ago

      while noting your experience, i do think it’s good context to have that testosterone for trans men / transmasc folks can also improve their ability to process emotions and also generally their temperance (and personally, estrogen just makes me a goddamn wreck; i get depressed, irritable, cynical, etc)

      (i worry that the anecdotes you’ve heard from trans women may be a little biased, as well 😅 i personally tend to think it’s more about the right hormones, than what they are)

      there’s plenty about trauma itself that causes behaviorial instability. hormones may be a contributing factor in some situations, but i question how universal it is

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    2311 days ago

    I’m my experience my rage was less anger at something and more frustration at being unable to produce the proper emotion for a situation. I feel that it’s likely true for many men because as always we weren’t raised to feel. Thanks John Wayne loving Boomer parents.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    6612 days ago

    I’d specify that the specific type of male rage which the article is talking about is a sign of weakness.

    We all make mistakes. We all get angry. Sometimes we get angry at other people when they make mistakes. Sometimes we can carry that anger with us for a long time. I can understand all this. I’ve done all these things.

    What I don’t understand is this brand of masculinity that insists on continued anger, and on asserting dominance and control in a way that ultimately draws attention to weakness and fragility. It’s like we’ve empowered a whole slew of men to embrace childish behaviour in the belief that it makes them seem powerful.

    That’s a very different thing than just general “rage”. Sometimes rage is an appropriate reaction to a set of circumstances. Personally I don’t think men have many things that are worthy of raging about compared to women, but that number is nonzero.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      1312 days ago

      Personally I don’t think men have many things that are worthy of raging about compared to women, but that number is nonzero.

      Personally, the things that make women rage usually also make me rage even when the victim is not me. And there are a bunch of things that should make anyone rage.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        611 days ago

        A tad bit more western, there’s Seneca’s “Of Anger”. For the Stoics any emotion that dulls, no matter how slightly, rationality and thus wisdom is a vice, generally summed up under the term passions.

        The virtuous way to go about is is to find whatever righteous indignation there is, let wisdom dwell on it, if it indeed was righteous then act, which will be indifference (because you realised it’s immaterial / you can’t do anything), forgiving, or cold-blooded (whatever of the two achieves the goal) but never anger. Wisdom got involved, it can’t be.

        Bonus Bruce Lee

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      512 days ago

      What definition of rage are you working off of? To be honest, it sounds like you’re talking about general anger.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      412 days ago

      If you are unable to control your rage, justified or not, its still weak.

      Being able to take your anger and channel it is strength, not giving way to it…

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    1211 days ago

    There is a certain type of man that always dismisses women as too emotional for leadership/management/politics then proceeds to explode at the slightest provocation.

    Being emotional isn’t always a bad thing. Expressing it isn’t always bad. But have some fucking self awareness.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    1912 days ago

    Wow, this really hit home for me. While I’ve never been the type to yell at people in parking lots, I was a very angry teenager. Over the years, through self-improvement and a lot of introspection, I’ve learned how to manage it. If this resonates with anyone else, just know that it does get easier with practice and reflection. But the key is that you have to want to improve and take control of your emotions. Most of the time, it’s best to just stay quiet and walk away—it’s not worth it. You always end up regretting the outburst.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    312 days ago

    So if someone’s kicking your grandmother’s ass, and you get angry, it’s a sign of weakness?

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      1612 days ago

      A slightly different way of looking at it is hot anger Vs cold anger.

      Hot anger is the obvious “angry” stereotype. It’s built on adrenaline, and often used to counter fear. Cold anger is a willingness to do an unpleasant, but necessary job. It has aspects of hot anger, but they are subservient to the goal. You might still be afraid, but it’s controlled and focused.

      Protecting someone is generally a cold anger. You have a goal and an opponent to be either driven off, or disabled. Their own health irrelevant.

      Hot anger has you beating the shit out of them, while your grandmother bleeds out. Cold anger is leaving them with a quick shattered knee, from your first kick, while moving on to first aid.

    • JackbyDev
      link
      fedilink
      English
      111 days ago

      I’m curious about your answer to this. Do you believe it is?

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        211 days ago

        Well, if it was my grandmammy, she’d be the one winning. She was T O U G H! I wish I had even a smidgen of her awesomeness. I bet your gammy was cool too.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      111 days ago

      Nah but getting angry about it doesn’t “do” anything and just being angry doesn’t solve the problem.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    311 days ago

    Male rage is a protective response. It is not weakness, it is strength. But it also travels with stupid, which is weakness.