Might sound silly, but every once in a while, random guys around me (pretty short, female) start humming/making random noises when they get near me, usually when I’m alone. Imagine me standing at a red traffic light at night or something. It’s never women. Sometimes, it’s some creep trying to get my attention, though that’s usually kinda obvious.
But I also had it happen with guys who didn’t seem like they wanted anything. I lowkey suspect that some might make noises so that I’m not caught off guard or something?
Any men on here who do this? Or am I just tripping?
Edit to summarize: So, a few guys apparently do it on purpose, while others think they might do it subconsciously. Some do it around women, others around whomever, since anyone can get scared. Super interesting.
Also, when I spoke of creeps, I meant actual assholes who did and said shitty stuff, not random socially awkward people. You know the drill.
Yeah same, I make noise to be less “I’m being sneaky” because I’m not trying to be. It never occurred to me this could be taken as “I’m trying to start a conversation, while not being in your field of view at all and also not saying any words.” I don’t do this when walking with my wife.
Different people have different ways of trying to appear non-threatening. If I am ever behind a woman, I just start running behind them in a friendly chase fashion just to break the ice and make them realize that I am just a goofy harmless guy. Usually, they play along and run as well.
Oh, I know that game, very appreciated! When I get too excited, I might use pepper spray or a kick between the legs. It makes things fun!
Oh, she must hear the train coming
I’ll ‘walk heavy’ in stores or stairwells whenever there is a blind corner
Not just with women. I usually drag my feet to make some noise when coming from behind. Most times I’m walking faster than other people so I constantly have to overtake them but don’t want to surprise anyone.
Women specifically I try to avoid passing directly, if it’s not too inconvenient or I will look in another direction, on my phone or whatever to make it clear I’m not interested in them.
But if a creep approaches her, I do make sure to stand nearby and be openly aware.
I hate that women need to be so afraid.
Said it before but: The assholes in the world ruin it for the rest of us. Good on you for keeping an eye out. I do it too, it gets exhausting though.
I often “accidentally” drag my feet a little bit to make my footsteps are a little bit more audible.
I’m usually a very quiet walker, so I just want to make sure my presence is known, as opposed to startling people.
I personally do this, especially now that I live in a rural area and enjoy taking night walks. If I encounter someone, but particularly a woman, I make some noise and slowly move away so they’re not caught off guard if they see me around doing my own stuff. In the city, I also move to the other side of the road and walk faster to give people space. Part of this behavior is influenced by my OCD and ADHD.
I’m physically quite large, but most people will outrun me for medical reasons, but you can’t tell just by looking at me. It wasn’t until #metoo that I considered what it might be like to walk on the street and be afraid for your safety all the time.
My partner shared a few historic experiences which made me want to throw up.
I’ve read the responses here so far and I’ve done similar things for the same reasons, noise, humming, nodding, etc… I’ll also cross the road if I think my presence might make someone feel uncomfortable, or if I feel uncomfortable.
I have also walked off a footpath onto the verge to give the person coming towards me, space to move.
I’d be interested to hear what that feels like for people who are experiencing this kind of interaction.
It’s appreciated! I don’t expect men to cross to the other side of the street, but some little noise to signal your friendly or neutral approach helps.
I’m an avg size woman and I had to consciously make noise to not give my mom jump scares. I guess I am a naturally quiet walker.
Crossing the street is a thoughtful thing to do, and I for one appreciate it.
Guyfriends told me before that they do the crossing the street thing. Or walking a bit faster at night to get past me. I noticed people do that sometimes. Never noticed the former (which might mean it just works) and I very much appreciate the latter.
Just happy that more and more people develop some awareness for this stuff.
As for the humming: it certainly helps prevent jump scares I guess. Since some assholes also whistled or hummed at me before, only to try and get my attention, I’ll still very much ignore men who do that, just in case.
Knowing the reason, I’ll recognize and appreciate the gesture as a nice one in the future though.
Not humming, but I do make noise intentionally. I’m a big guy and understand that I could be threatening to women in the wrong circumstance. I also walk fairly quietly just as a matter of the way I walk; so, I’ve scared folks on more than one occasion by “sneaking” up on them unintentionally. So, if I think I am doing that, I’ll land a few footfalls hard and flat to make my foot slap the ground and alert the person of my presence before I get too close. I also try to give space to strangers while walking. Things like moving to the other side of the sidewalk/street, slowing down or speeding up to pass. Basically, trying to not look like I’m stalking them.
If I’m in an elevator alone with a woman or something I will usually just give a friendly nod and adopt a very relaxed posture, like leaning against the wall. The youtuber Contrapoints talked about this exact scenario in one of her videos (a black man whistling in the elevator so she wouldn’t feel scared) and it made me more aware of it.
Might look her up, thanks!
If I’m walking around its likely I’ll be having a conversation with myself in my head which eventually ends up with me absent mindedly speaking to myself out loud so if I see someone in public I immediately try to shut myself up lest they think I’m truly mental.
I do that at home, lol. I really hope the walls are thick enough for the neighbours not to catch on to the fact that there’s no one else around.
Yea my neighbours know I live alone and I can hear them so pretty sure they can hear me and must think I’m crazy.
Let’s just hope they’re also talking to themselves enough to not point fingers.
I’ll clear my throat, jingle my keys, make louder footsteps to make my presence known, especially at night or when turning a corner. It’s not just for women, but for any person or animal to not be startled.
I think it’s a combination of courtesy, habit from having worked in a restaurant kitchen, and camping in bear country.
If I could see any practice from my time working food service make it into the general population, it would be “Behind” and “Heard”.
I took a different approach, I put my keys on a carabiner so I jingle when I walk. It makes it really hard to accidentally startle people.
Also prevents you from eating birds. Or so the cats tell me.
I don’t think a cassowary has anything to fear from a house cat. Even a cuddly one. Most I’ve met are ornery as heck though.
Hahaha…true, and not too many big cats wear collars with bells when running around. Coming from a baked-goods-kitten, I totally trust you!
Yes.
I’m 6’5" and broad but the number of jump scares I cause is ludicrous. Most people (especially women) seem to have no situational awareness to the point where they miss gorillas approaching them.
If it’s a stranger then I’ll try to announce my approach from further away. If it’s someone I know I’ll see how high I can make them jump.
Edit: just saw you label some of these people creeps. They’re not. This is a massive green light that they don’t want to accidentally scare you.
yeah… i’ve noticed this too; Many people say I just appear out of thin air and startle them… that isn’t possible, I’m not stealthy… they just have zero situational awareness
No, I meant actual creeps, like someone making a noise and then aggressively hitting on me or saying something disgusting. Those happen from time to time.
You’re good.
Lol I’m a huge dude and I do the same. I usually go with a good foot scruff. Not too obnoxious, and most people will instantly identify it as someone is walking up.
Personally I just walk up behind them, cover their eyes with my hands and yell “guess who?”
But to each their own
Yes.
I started doing that when I was walking back to my dorm in college. It was winter, night fell early, and I didn’t notice someone 10’ ahead of me heading the same way. They got freaked out by the guy following them.
It turned out to be someone who also lived in my dorm, so I “followed” them most of the way home before I realized the issue and called out to them.
We ended up talking for a bit, and I said I’m sorry for scaring them, but the biggest issue was I seemed to come out of nowhere, so when they freaked out they thought I was some creep like, waiting to jump someone.
So yeah, I make noise, for others comfort. I don’t even think about it anymore, it’s just automatic.
The person I followed wasn’t even a woman, he just thought I was gonna mug him, but if I can freak out a 6’2" guy I could freak out anyone by accident.
