Well, there was a time when women were THE thing making men happy. In modern age, we have computers.
It’s not quite the same.
My computer is always in the mood for whatever activity I wanna do. My wife is usually too busy with her computer.
You vs the Computer she tells you not to worry about
Are you taking the time away from the computer to participate in her interests?
Yes?
You’re right, computers are way better
I don’t really see a good time in dating strangers, so bars and speed dating are unappealing. Same for dating apps. I’d rather have an outing with someone who I am familiar with and already jive with as a friend.
I don’t think that these stats really matter that much because I already know that I’m not represented in these stats. That’s obviously a biased view, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a incorrect for being biased.
I’ve tried and I’m still trying. As someone who is a bit shorter than average and is socially awkward, it’s tough. Recently I’ve been able to get dates with 3 girls from dating apps (due to me being better at flirting and getting a few more matches than before), but they all went nowhere.
1 girl didn’t seem to want any touching or flirty things on the first date and the conversation wasn’t smooth, so I friendzoned her.
The other 2 girls immediately started with a flirty text conversation.
I hit it off with first one over text, we were having long phone calls and sending raunchy stuff over text. I had one short date with and was planning a spicier 2nd date with but she cancelled because I asked her to be my Valentine on Valentine’s Day.
The 2nd one wanted to take things slower, and friendzoned me after 2 longer dates. She also wasn’t that into touching.
I never kissed any of these girls. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, especially with the first flirty girl.
45% of men 18 to 25 have never asked out a woman in person
I can’t speak for the whole 45% but some of us have heard stories from women about how that other 55% can behave. I think I’d rather wait for a lady to (never) ask me out then put someone in the position of thinking “Oh, is he gonna take it bad if I say no?”
I keep saying this cause it’s a take a lot of people gloss over. I haven’t dated in a while because I’m too broke to add anything else to my budget, dive bars included. Dating takes time and money, and if I get more of either, I’m using it to better my situation before thinking about dating.
In a time where real wealth is dwindling for most young men, I can imagine I’m not alone on this.
Life advice from an old’ish dude: find a girl when you are broke. She will always love you, not the money. She will also love you in hardship and she won’t care if you go for a walk or watch Netflix because it’s cheaper. :)
Going through the same problem, I was in uni during COVID, when it hit many things in my life changed or left so I shut down and unfortunately couldn’t complete my degree in the end. Now I’m just job hunting and rebuilding and while I do feel pretty lonely at times, I realise I can’t even consider talking to a girl romantically until I can rebuild myself (my own choice). Luckily I have this close female friend who i can talk to makes me feel a little less alone
Every time I see an article like this I think who fucking cares? Like what’s going on with men? Its a generational and cultural thing its not men’s fault. Dating sucks, people get rejected in ultra harsh ways, sometimes being filmed and then posted on social media for trying to ask someone out. If I was in the age range to be dating I wouldn’t bother.
It’s a problem to have so many single, disaffected men out there
Yup and it’s a problem that only becomes worse over time
Might be a good time to downplay the importance of a relationship for a happy life then instead of trying to push the message that your life sucks if you don’t have one.
Maybe being alone works for some people, but the desire for intimate relationships is a biological drive in human beings
My point was that making people feel worse about their situation likely won’t improve the outcome. People either would be happy without a partner or they won’t and those who won’t don’t need an external push to try to find a partner and both groups might feel worse if they are publicly branded a failure for not having a partner.
The first rule of…
Dude, you’re not supposed to talk about Fight Club.
Talk about what now?
how do you know they are disaffected. Maybe they are single and just fine with it.
“Influence” numbers of Andrew Tate & Musk says otherwise. I’m also assuming a large following of those two are unhappy single men.
We all know that isn’t true
Women might care?
Then they get to step up and approach men for a change.
Then perhaps we should expect changes/shifts in women’s behavior to bridge the gap?
I don’t think that cultural evolution is happening - look at Bumble, which had its premise/differentiation with women making the “first move.” They eventually had to nix the feature, because…women didn’t want to make the first move; they wanted to be pursued. Meanwhile, apps in general are just a minefield of emotional rejection, while Corporate ownership drags men through the muck as long as possible to get those $$$. So most men simply stop using apps and simply wait for some kind of IRL meet-cute. And that sparingly happens in a society that has very, very few places for non-commercial social overlap.
Commercial dating apps are a failed idea. We need something better
Like approaching women?
4chan funded their own dating app. It was alright.
well then they should step up and start asking people out instead of waiting for guys to do it.
people get rejected in ultra harsh ways, sometimes being filmed and then posted on social media for trying to ask someone out.
Are you sure this isn’t exaggerating it a little? This may be anecdotal but I have never dealt with any such harsh rejection within my social circles (neither have my associates). What I’m trying to get at is that there may be a vocal minority that gets a lot of online attention.
Then again if thousands upon thousands of people see such a post (like on say r/Tinder) and take it as a common phenomenon it would still have the same effect.
Really the fear of it happening is enough. All you have to do is have it happen once, or know someone that it happened to, or see a video of it for that to scare you off of even trying.
That sounds like an irrational fear if you ask me. Like with fear of flying.
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It’s giving
April – 1805.
Napoleon is master of Europe.
Only the British fleet stands before him.
Oceans are now battlefields.In the grim darkness of the 18th Century there is only Sharpe.
Now that’s soldierin’
All the homies are improvising on the violin with their very close male friends.
Men don’t want to be branded ‘creepy’ and women have constantly stated they want to be left alone. Men listened.
incels always got an excuse.
For me at this point in my life trying to find someone to date just isn’t worth the effort. I have limited time, money, and mental energy and there are better ways to spend it than on women who for the most part won’t be interested in me anyway. Unless the relationship turns out great and we’re amazingly compatible it’s going to add more stress than it’s worth. I still go out with my friend (about 30% of whom are women) and we do various activities that I enjoy. I have hobbies that interest me and basically all my free time is occupied between stuff I want to do and chores. If some woman I know I get along with likes me enough to pursue something romantic I might give it a shot but otherwise I’m comfortable with things as they are and I don’t want to risk fucking that up by adding someone else into the mix.
Tbh I would probably try speed dating if I was looking for someone these days. I don’t think I would have at 18-25 though.
I’ve never understood how/why so many guys on Lemmy (and reddit) are so scared of women.
I have no problems dating, and I’m poor as fuck and have a face like a foot.
After reading the responses in this thread, I think it’s all just a bunch of bullshit excuses you all are making up.
I think you all are just afraid. The lack of confidence I see on Lemmy is insane. Lol
You all have spent so much time staring at screens, you’re afraid to talk to people in real life.
Maybe instead of yelling at people on Lemmy who disagree with your politics, you should actually talk to women in real life. Lol
So many comments echoing “women told us to stop approaching us, so we did!”
I mean no offense, truly, but you missed the point if that’s the message you took. It wasn’t “Do not, under any circumstances, speak to a woman” it was, “if you shoot your shot and she’s not interested, move on and don’t make it weird. If she is at work, be very careful as customer service does not equal flirting.” Yes, there are some grey areas (not sure even the best gentleman could slide up to a woman alone in a parking lot and not freak her out), but some of you are kicking up the board without even moving a piece. Stop pushing the narrative that only attractive men can speak to women. Not only are you assuming you’re not attractive by saying that (which cannot be good for your confidence) , you’re reducing women’s feelings and concerns as being blindly shallow and unwarranted.
The world is not full of only beautiful people, yet people still live and love. Not to dismiss the difficulties (as an uggo myself, I get it), but you can get out there, I know you can.
Too busy conforming to some Podcasters idea of masculinity
