The Trump administration plans to almost double duties on Canadian softwood lumber to 27%, with the possibility of additional levies pushing the rate to more than 50%. While Trump advocates for new tariffs partly to bolster U.S. manufacturing, they may also hit the availability of northern bleached softwood kraft pulp, or NBSK, a key component in making toilet paper and paper towels.
The tariffs will be lifted in no time.
This is the man who for over a decade has climbed onto his soapbox and complained endlessly about how you have to flush modern toilets 10 times. This is the obese man who subsists off fast food. That man uses a lot of toilet paper.
Nah, each cabinet member takes turns licking it clean.
Paid for by the government.
I was getting “December 2019” vibes back in November, so I started stocking up on N95s and toilet paper. This isn’t exactly what I was preparing for, but I’m prepared nonetheless.
So that’s when America was great. It all makes sense now.
Protip: Invest in a cheap bidet attachment for your toilet. You’ll be cleaner, suffer less irritation to your sensitive regions, and use much less toilet paper.
Every time I hear about someone stock piling toilet paper I can’t help but think how brutally stupid that person must be. Get a fucking bidet. They’re cheap and easy to get and you aren’t blowing a bunch of money and storage space and looking like a jackass at the grocery store.
I do not get why this has not taken off… You save so much money not buying so much tp
Pretty sure bidets are woke. Has something to do with the silent t and the fact it shares many letters with “biden”
That’s funny, but watch out - somewhere, some conservative is reading that and taking it to be exactly as you wrote it. Before long Republicans will be passing laws banning bidets and even forcing them to be ripped out of homes because of “bidet wokeness”.
I would add a /s, but with the way America is crumbling ever-further into ridiculousness, satire is becoming real at ever-increasing rates. Even The Onion is constantly getting upstaged by reality these days.
It’s ironic that we’ve been dealing with this shit for so long that that joke is actually old now.
A bidet can help you clean that shit btw.
About time for the covid hoarders to resupply!
shithole, TP USA
Canada should absolutely restrain from putting 500% tariffs on toilet paper … that is, not until USA is really in deep shit 🤣
Nah, pinch off the supply ASAP. Maybe it’ll make them finally colon their reps to return to a state of nearer sanity.
We really are just living in some alien race’s reality television show, aren’t we?
last year of Trump’s previous term we got a toilet paper shortage, so for the sake of continuity…
Oh great, now I have to steal eggs and toilet paper??? Make america medieval again.
It’s reverse egging and papering.
Steal toilet paper again*
Pretending your pregnant is hard when convincing people you are having a square baby.
you’re*
I’m not that smart. I’m having a square baby, remember?
I wouldn’t have pointed it out but for this one it made the sentence hard to parse for me
Well, Americans can always wipe their asses with newspapers like in the old days, and that’s pretty much the only thing their press is good for these days anyway.
There are still several good outlets, and since they’re badly needed right now, let’s not, well, shit on them.
dual use may increase subscription rates. lets get creative here.
Nah, we use old corncobs, just like pappy had done
I guess those idiots back in 2020 were just off by a few years.
once again the bidet users reign like clean hole kings
And don’t forget the reusable butthole towels.
I will never go back. After installing a bidet, it quickly becomes clear how primitive the use of toilet paper is, at least as a primary means of cleaning.
Also, whoever snuck “pinch” into this headline got away with murder. I suspect there was much furtive chortling.
I just can’t deal with the idea of dirty arse water splashing my balls
You realize it sprays clean water, not dirty arse water, right?
A bidet gets its water straight from the tap, not from the toilet bowl. His is the same water that you wash your hands in.
You can wash your balls as well.
No, you can rinse your balls as well.
Shiny.
BTW, thanks for the reminder to rewatch GalaxyQuest. It’s such a great movie.
Oh shit
