If you’re not middle aged, pick a younger age, IDK
She would be absolutely stunned. Probably wouldn’t believe me. At 43 I’m married to the guy I was dating at 19. At 19 I had dropped out of college and thought I wanted to be an artist; at 43 I’m already retired from a successful career in academic research. At 19 I had no thoughts about politics or the world as a whole (9/11 hadn’t happened yet); at 43 I’m pretty informed and opinionated. And she’d probably be surprised how much I’m into the outdoors, healthy living, and weightlifting, given that she had negative interest in those things. The rest is pretty consistent - e.g., I’ve always loved music from the '60s, fun nail polish, scifi, swimming, and handmade art (drawing, beading, etc).
I mean the math checks out, but holy crap, you’re 43, but at 19 ‘9/11 hadn’t happened yet…’
Fuck yeah. Sounds like a great trajectory!
Younger me was really depressed, like clinically and so caught up in himself that I think he’d hear me, but not actually listen to what I’d have to say. And I don’t totally blame him, he was very confused and hadn’t really figured himself out yet.
I think he’d be surprised but also unhappy with the direction of my life… But he’d be unhappy no matter what since he still hadn’t figured out how to beat his depression and make his own happiness.
Plus he’s not only stubborn but also secretly a bit arrogant and needs to fall on his face a lot to learn lessons. His failures will be his greatest teachers. The fact that he even can fail will be very hard to accept but very needed as well.
So overall, I don’t expect his reaction would be great. But I also can’t see myself wanting to give him any advice nor do I really care what he would think… Actually I would tell him to lift with his knees and not his back more, properly show him how to do it too.
Ooh yeah… I as lucky enough to have a parent with back pain, so paid attention early on how to avoid it. Still got a sore back though 🥲
“Oh shit I’m a girl?”
“I knew it, when do I get to start hormone therapy?”
Like, you were completely unaware of it at that point, or you just didn’t think it would happen?
I knew something was wrong but I didn’t put the dots together until my early 20s. I’d definitely had “I wanna be a girl” thoughts as a kid/teen but wasn’t super aware that being trans was a thing so shoved them to the back of my brain and allowed myself to just kinda feel broken instead.
My 19 year old self would be sad and hopefully take a different path.
“Thank you for warning. I’m leaving right now to make sure [name removed] is not able to enlist”.
My friend was killed by the United States Army.
“Fuckyeah!”
Then I’d elaborate on what it took to get here.
“Shit…”
But at least Mia hasn’t been part of the equation for decades.
“Phew”
I was trying to get into university in America, failed and got into one in Japan two years ago, so probably this:
World’s falling apart, huh? Really dodged a bullet there. Also can’t wait to be quadlingual.
“Whoa. You actually talk to and get along with Dad? I can’t stand him. He’s such a huge dick.”
Yeah. Your going to call him that to his face at some point in a few years. It goes over better than you’d expect.
That sounds like an interesting story! Up for hearing it if you wanna share. Either way, glad it worked out ok :)
The short version is that my father was both a victim and perpetrator of the cycle of abuse. When I was a kid, he was an angry man who would often explode in a violent rage. I ran away from home when I graduated from high school because I hated him and didn’t want to be around him anymore.
Eventually I learned that he wasn’t a bad person at his core. He genuinely wanted to do the right thing. He never had much of a chance. His own father destroyed him. Some of the stories he told me about his dad, when I was a kid, are horrible and sad. I think realizing that he was just a very broken man made it easier to forgive him.
We’ve talked about it a lot over the years. He is genuinely sorry for the way he treated me and my siblings and has lots of regrets. He’s not perfect but he is a good “Papa” to my kids and we get along pretty well nowadays.
I am more like my dad than my 19 year old self probably thought I would ever be. But I managed to mostly hang on to the good parts and get rid of the bad ones. My kids will never learn to fear me the way I feared my dad.
P.S. The time I called him a dick to his face.
I was in my mid 20’s. I called him on the phone to confront him about something he had done. All of a sudden, he blurts out, “why don’t any of my kids want anything to do with me?” At this point, I was very angry with him and didn’t care what his response was. I said, “Dad, we want to have a relationship with you but you make it really hard when you’re being a dick all the time.”
When I was a kid I would have paid dearly for saying something like that to him. The beating would have been fierce and merciless. When I said that he kind of just stopped and I could tell he was considering what I had said. I don’t know why but I think he actually took it to heart.
That’s sad that you all had to deal with it, but awesome that you managed to break out of that cycle of abuse. Sounds almost a bit collaborative over the long run… Thanks for sharing!
“They use computers to do what??? Shit, guess I’ll become a woodworker then.”
Haha, I bought a lot of second-hand wood working tools last week. Looking forward to getting into it again. It’s certainly a grounding practice in a world gone mad.
deleted by creator
Career? (Not knowing about AI) Oh wow interesting!
Life? (Not knowing about cost of living) Dude wtf!
19 year old me was dirt poor and thought everything was expensive. Now I spend more on my mortgage than he made in a month. 🥲
Your dog is awesome.
Your job is pretty cool. I don’t think I’m ready for that yet, but I’ll keep that on my radar.
Your beard and moustache are epic. Shame about the hair, but I knew that was coming.
Congrats on getting married, can’t wait to meet her.
Donald Trump? Twice? Really? And they do what? Fuck, man…fuck.
He’d be disappointed that he doesn’t end up doing anything epic and world-changing, but then he’d immediately be relieved that he’s mostly got shit figured out. Wife, home, job, driving, cooking, all the basic stuff.
Then he’d realize he only thought he needed to do something epic because he couldn’t picture himself having those basic things figured out. This would take him a few minutes to process, so he wouldn’t say anything.
I’m about to be 46 and finally starting to figure out this “adulting” thing so things are going okay at the moment. My 19 year old self would probably say something like “wow I can’t believe you’re (I’m) doing good.” As long as I don’t mention the last 2 decades of fuck ups I think I’d be impressed with myself.
deleted by creator
You figured out what to do in life and landed a nice career? Nice!
You’re still single? That really sucks.
Our family blew up? Dad’s gone? Oh…
At 19, it was right before a rough few years. My parents went through a messy and drawn-out divorce that I was dragged through the middle of, and ended with my dad dying. Those events helped me figure out who I was and ultimately led me to where I am today, which is in a pretty good spot, but it was a terrible price to pay.
