I can drink hydrochloric acid without dyeing
Watch out, that stuff can die your clothes.
All clothes dead, even the little socks
Socks are cemetery of unborn kids
Despite being a shitpost this is actually quite a positive statement for your own mental health
Find your kickflip.
I kick people and flip em off. Does that meet criteria?
It’s true, I can’t even put away a million krill before I start feeling like a glutton.
Bro… if you’re not downing at least 10M krill per day, the Kraken wins.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can outrun a shark. So in a triathlon it comes down to the bicycle part.
Yeah but monkeys have hands on their feet, so they can pull on the pedal’s upstroke as well as push on the downstroke ☝️
Tri bikes usually have clip-in pedals so humans can do this too.
I’d love to meet one of those few. A skateboarder eating that much krill has to be such an amazing spectacle
I wanna see a whale do a kickflip more, that would be wicked as fuck!
They do there belly flops, where they rise from the water and splash on it. I suppose that is pretty close, but I have done neither.
Pretty cool, but I think I’d rather watch a teenager in baggypants break the laws of physics entirely by consuming multiple times his body mass
What that fuck? I was just having a piss and I fucking read your comment and - it didn’t, but - what if my snort of laughter when I did had caused my fucking urine stream to shoot back and to the left and fucking soaked my spare toilet rolls? Did you fucking think about that when ou posted? FFS.
Are you, by chance, a dolphin or whale?
Apologies, I hadn’t considered the impact my comment might have on the urinary tract of innocent readers
I think we’ve just reinvented the Xgames.
very few whales, not 0. That’s something I want to see!
Not that few.
Kickflip ≠ Backflip ≠ Peanut flip
I had my first class on heterogeneity in the classroom today and the teacher would have loved this tweet
Why not share it with teacher?
I’d have to wait two weeks, because she doesn’t check her email, but I already bookmarked it
Just because you’ve never seen a whale do a kickflip doesn’t mean they can’t.
Wouldn’t they do flipper-flips instead?
The inventor of the trick was human, so the name stuck.
Does one need feet to kick?
One needs legs, I’d say, so a spider can do 4 kickflips at once
It only says most can’t - but we’ll never be able to prove that such a whale does not exist at all.
They would just rather not
