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Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem fell victim to a thief while eating dinner at a downtown Washington, DC, restaurant Sunday night, two sources familiar with the incident, including a law enforcement source, told CNN.
The Secret Service, which provides security for Noem, reviewed security camera footage at the restaurant and saw an unknown white male wearing a medical mask steal her bag and leave the restaurant.
The thief got away with Noem’s driver’s license, medication, apartment keys, passport, DHS access badge, makeup bag, blank checks, and about $3,000 in cash, the law enforcement source said.
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Kripi Gnoem is insecure in her deeply-beloved homeland!!!
Why was she carrying around $3k? Nothing illegal about that but that is a little curious.
Maybe just because Trump’s inner circle is making enough money right now that that’s just walking around money to her.
Even so, rich people usually don’t carry wads of cash like that unless they are paying somebody under the table.
Doesn’t prove it was for something illegal, but let’s not pretend it doesn’t look weird AF
Yeah, definitely. Could be something illegal. Could just be something she doesn’t want showing up on shared credit card receipts.
You think she’s paying a honey boy?
There’s a lot of things it could be, some of which are eyebrow raising. But as you said, usually when someone is carrying that much cash, there’s a reason.
It’s illegal if the cop who finds it on you says it’s illegal.
She claims she took out that money to celebrate Easter with family… for dinner, activities, and gifts.
I use a credit card for such things, but yeah.
I guess in her defense, if you’re involved in the destruction of the U.S. economy, you never know when the economy might collapse and credit cards will no longer be accepted.
Still, you would think she would just carry around bars of solid gold or something.
She should be paying in Euro then. Never know when the USD is going to collapse.
Seems like Secretary Gnoem would have put her full faith behind Bitcoin
That was Menendez. Don’t confuse your corrupt offials.
to be fair cash is accepted at more food trucks and makes a better gift than credit cards.
Bribe money
That’s where your mind goes?
It’s for coke
That sounds more likely.
I believe this too.
3000$ is enough for lots of coke, but probably not enough to bribe a politician / bureaucrat at her level.
They aren’t mutually exclusive. Maybe it’s a bribe she received that she planned to spend on coke?
Now I hadn’t thought that the bribe was for her
I give up trying to write satire. You just can’t beat the real thing.
Looks like drop off of state secrets to russian agent made to look like a theft. What better way than in plain sight and blame it on a thief.
ffs dead drops aren’t done in ways that end up in the news. this recent fascination with conspiracy theories is starting to make liberals look as insane as MAGA nitwits.
It’s not a conspiracy theory. It’s hyperbole to ridicule the incompetent fucks.
We don’t take these seriously. Lol
You can still safely assume that the average Lemming is a well educated lefty, frustrated at what’s going on, and willing to chuck a funny pebble at the administration to relieve some steam.
Or what, do you think people actually believe JD Vance fucks couches? But he totally could, right? ;)
Starting to, yes. But they at least still adhere to their political ideologies, instead of replacing them fully with the devout religious worship of a geriatric conman.
Idk if you’ve noticed but this administration is dumb as fuck and already thinks they’re above the law. Why wouldn’t they
Because the Russians are not dumb as fuck, and they would be the ones setting it up.
People have accidentally picked up drop bags before, it wouldn’t be the first time that the wrong person got one.
It would be the first time anyone was dumb enough to report one missing.
I don’t think that’s even what happened necessarily, I’m just saying it’s not impossible. This could all just be a distraction but from something else. In the scenario where it’s a drop, I imagine it would probably be a successful drop from the Russian agent to Noem, followed by Noem being dumb enough to confirm the money was there, then stay to eat after the drop and be surprised when somebody walks off with her bag full of cash.
It could also just be somebody from the press paying Noem and her being the leak the whole time, after she’s been threatening federal employees with polygraphs.
In this scenario, I imagine Noem taking a bribe, giving information, a journalist saying fuck this lady she’s scum, I’m walking off with this money, and Noem getting pissed and thinking she’s above the law anyway, why not report it stolen
I mean, yeah, you do have a point.
Not when done by competent people.
I would say the Russians are pretty competent when it comes to setting up dead drops for their American spies, having done so successfully for several decades.
Immediately thought of that. Drop off bribe.
Good. She fascist trash & there literally aren’t enough bad things in the world that can happen to her.
A puppy killer too let’s never forget. About as comic book villain as one can get.
Incoming federal ban on n95s
Now that you say it I’m surprised such a ban wasn’t on the top of Trump’s list. Republicans got really riled up about wearing masks in public
Medication? Sounds like someone needs to attend a wellness farm to remove themselves from the teat of BiG pHaRmA
$3k in cash? Her coke habit is expensive
Seriously, who tf carries that much cash and is a govt employee without being up to something very sheisty
She hasn’t had a chance to deposit that bribe yet. After all, she had just received it there in the restaurant.
It’s a definite warning sign when a person has that much ready cash on them.
i cannot think of why someone one at her level of government would need to hold $3000 on them
I can’t imagine why anyone, in this day and age, would have that much cash on them unless they’re directly going to buy something or just sold something.
I keep physical Euros these days. I don’t trust the US to keep my life savings safe from hyperinflation.
Plus, it wouldn’t surprise me if DOGE jerks get to ‘inspect’ bank servers and make withdrawals on our behalf. Far as Trump and friends are concerned, the public’s money is theirs, just tangled up in a web of inconvenient obligations.
Even then she’s a cabinet secretary someone else should hold onto the cash unless no one else can know about it
When they catch the thief they’ll take them out back and shoot them
Like a dog.
Good. Just a shame she didn’t choke to death, slowly.
I didn’t see a video. I’m going to assume Noem pocketed the cash and there’s no “man in the medical mask.”
I hope they donate it to an animal shelter
From what I’ve heard about the secret service they were probably at the bar getting plastered. The thief probably had no idea who she was. Or…
This was an arranged dead drop to pass Intel off to Russia. This way the narrative is she was robbed, not just giving a package to some rando. No evidence to back that up, just wild internet speculation for your Tuesday morning.
Boy, she had a good night, that’s probably six guys.
Or three cheaper guys and an ounce of schneef.
Damn. They just eating these opsec L’s
