Better execution of the joke
So much better. The writing in OP’s post seems so unnatural and… bad.
Agreed, but still needs the “why do you have these?” “Idk, I was high when I bought them”.
Its also the original afaik
definitely like the shortness of this one more, but i am undecided on the pointe
I have to assume it was this pill:
It’s no stree overlord
My mom did this to me when she found the thermal compound in a syringe. Didn’t bother to read the label.
“These kids getting all whacked out on street drugs like … Arctic Silver”
Mom can’t seriously expect me to rawdog copper.
"IS THIS A WEED? "
I was buying lubricants and flux for putting together keyboards and other soldering projects.
My dad was like “look, I don’t know what drugs look like these days but it definitely looks weird when you’re getting multiple shipments of vials and syringes.”
And, honestly, I don’t blame him. It looked pretty sus.
What would happen if you swallowed one of these pills?
I’m not Sure but I know an old lady who swallowed a fly…
Do you think she’ll die?
Not unless she swallows a spider to catch the fly
Well she can just swallow a bird to catch the spider.
Great … now she needs to swallow a cat to catch the bird to catch the spider to catch the fly
Then a dog, then the dog catcher, then the police officer who shows up wondering about the dog catcher… Before you know it, we’re
making memesreading the news about a geriatric Hannibal LecterShe should swallow a hydrogen cyanide capsule that only dissolves if triggered by the detection of radioactive decay.
Who knows what will happen to the cat?
From the fly, no. From the possible parasites in the fly’s gut, maybe.
This is only for those who know
There’s a small-ish risk of intestinal blockage AFAIK
The best way to get macro plastics into your blood stream
I don’t even care if this is fake or not, this gave me a good laugh.
there used to be a subreddit r/goodfaketexts (as an alternative to r/badfaketexts), not sure if lemmy has something similar
Back when my brother still lived with my mom, he, a full-grown adult, had a set of four square whiskey stones made of metal that he kept in the back of the freezer that he would add to a glass of whiskey every now and then. One night my mom texts me a picture of the whiskey stones while he’s not in the house with “I FOUND THESE IN THE FREEZER!” “ARE THESE DRUGS???” “WHAT IS THIS??” Like holy fuck, are you serious? Yeah, sure, they’re drugs, Mom. Cubed metal is all the rage on the streets these days. You just swallow them whole and get high as fuck.
I used to have some whiskey stones until I got tired of taking a pile of rocks to the face.
Poser, everyone knows you smoke cube.
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yeah it’s clearly fake, a goodfaketext
not 100% sure but I’d say those are male hands too
“I don’t want to disolve drugs in the bowls I eat out of so I got a disposable container”
This conversation is so clumsy and awkward. Why take a good joke post and make it so much worse?
I had so many of those as a child. In hindsight, having a drawer full of (sometimes damp) animal shaped sponges was weird.
My brothers and I filled a huge pickle jar with these and some water with the intent to let them sit for a few weeks to see how big they would get. We put them in my brother’s closet and promptly forgot about them for ~5 or so years. One day my brother heard a popping sound in his closet and when he opened it, putrid water was trickling down the closet shelf and soaking the carpet below. Something was growing in the jar and the built up pressure popped the lid, spilling a bunch of shit all over. The smell never quite left his room
Those animals under the extreme pressure of their surroundings, mutated into a chimera and pooped everywhere
mom found the animal sponge drawer
It is very important to reaffirm that you are talking to mom in a private chat with mom by referring to her as “mom” as often as possible.
Well, it gets confusing when your mom is a famous stock photo hand model.
Which has a very masculine looking hand.
That’s extremely common to do.
One of my kids does this so I don’t think it’s that weird
It’s funny, I was on the phone today with my Uncle who works at Nintendo and he was telling me about some secret cheat codes. He said that his girlfriend that lives in Canada had the EXACT same thing happen to her, except everyone clapped.
“Now can you get me a Pepsi?”
