Moving to a walkable city. Turns out I just hate cars and I hated the fact that I had to drive to have any sort of social gathering.
Not being social.
I realized in my 40’s that my parents were wrong. You don’t actually have to be social butterfly to be happy.
I’m missing the need for social interaction. World didn’t end. I’m completely happy without it and there are plenty of jobs that don’t extensively need it.
So liberating. No amount of therapy really helped on the inside. It was all just pretending.
It’s tricky for me though because I’ve always had a social need. I don’t have a need for sex like the majority of other humans do, but I do have a need to be social. Lickily I fulfill most of my social needs by going to work, but it can be stressful at times.
Making a fool of myself on purpose and laughing along. Karaoke bars, stand-up comedy open mic nights, improv theater.
It helps you see that people can’t really see behind each other’s “mask” all that well. All confidence is made up, so play along and it just sort of materializes.
Another way to do that is to try and become fluent in a new language. You build a different persona for each language you use, so might as well become confident in the new one on purpose.
Self-criticism fueled my anxiety and depression. Compassion and acceptance have significantly improved my well-being.
This is also a big issue for me. When I felt embarrassed because of something I did, I would tall myself, “You’re so stupid!” Which launched me into a shame spiral.
What has helped me break out of the spiral is to notice when I tell myself I am stupid and actively respond, “No I am not”
Walking the dog in the fresh air every day, meeting other people doing the same.
Propranolol
Because it takes the edge off anxiety? I haven’t even been on it all that long and I entirely forgot it did this. Holy crap, what was I even like before! I remember being in constant pain from the migraines. More pain than I even noticed I was in, weirdly enough. Is it helping your migraines? My head still feels like Swiss cheese, or something. But more brain fog and heavy than pain, now.
mine kicked in within the first hour, and it was like a cloud was lifted! it doesn’t help me with any migraines personally, but it’s like magic for my anxiety. you can pry it from my cold dead hands. i also got brain fog when i increased my dose and i had to lower it back down — maybe you’re on too high of a dose?
Sleep and ssris
Wellbutrin
Doing socialization anyway … is the therapist-backed approach.
Nihilism works wonders I guess. So does not going outside.
Doing mutual aid
Getting friends lol
Practicing loving-kindness meditation and trying to find an interest in the lives of others. When you feel a genuine interest in learning about the lives of the people you meet and are not worrying about your own self-image, people are less scary and easier to talk to.
I used to be afraid of people thinking less of me for asking stupid questions, but now I don’t care so much about what they think about me. I come from a mindset of compassion rather than fear. It turns out that people generally prefer dumb but interested over insecurity.
Training. I sold things at a market on weekends and told my kids it was “remedial sales and social skills training”. I’m still not a social butterfly by any stretch, but fake it till you make it helped me to be more comfortable talking to people.
Meds.
Meds are the only thing that has ever helped.
With meda you bite ?
Having a space to go where I can pull off the mask of “normal functioning human” for a bit.
