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My female colleague told me the other day I’d make a great dad because my tattoos are all black and white and that would be great for kids because they could color them.
What 😭
First girl I ever kissed complimented me on my nice looking hands at the teenybopper bar. Weird at the time, took me a couple of decades to realize women look at our hands, think of us touching them.
Irish people ask me what part of Ireland I’m from. I must do an amazing Irish accent despite being Scottish and have never visited there. I blame the fact that central Edinburgh doesn’t have a strong Scottish accent and lots of Londoners/Americans study here.
An ultrasound tech once told me that I have a cute spleen.
Nothing looks cute on an ultrasound. Humans are hardwired to see babies as cute, and even they don’t look cute on an ultrasound.
So they gotta have one hell of a cutie spleen
One complimented my bladder, so I guess that spleen seems mighty good about now
“If your humor was a person I would fuck it”
you did get laid that night, right?
“I’m the vessel, fuck me. It’s as close as it gets.”
Just last week, someone left a note for me saying I’m a “goddess among mortals” for making a carrot cake without raisins.
I’m an overweight 40-year-old man with a beard. She hadn’t seen who made the cake, so she was just making a guess that the baker was a woman, but still. Funny experience.
Oh shit, you are a goddess among mortals! Carrot cake is one of my all time favorites so I keep trying it despite being disappointed every time that someone put raisins in it. It’s just mean.
I’m 38, male, chubby, can’t grow a beard for shit.
Raisins are wank. You’re “a goddess among mortals”.
She is correct. You are absolutely divine for excluding raisins, you radiant goddess, you!
Who the fuck puts raisins in a carrot cake?
I have honestly never experienced an abomination. Not that there is anything wrong with raisins, but in carrot cake?This is standard in US-style carrot cakes
Most carrot cakes I’ve had contained raisins. I don’t think it’s chiefly an American thing but it definitely seems common enough.
I hate it. Anything that dramatically breaks up the texture of a food like that is a culinary mistake.
Raisins in cinnamon rolls is the true crime
The recipe I used actually suggested raisins in the cake and walnuts in the frosting. While I don’t mind either on their own or in other things, carrot cake is supposed to be creamy and smooth. If I wanted crunch or chew, I’d choose…I dunno, german chocolate or something.
Walnuts on the frosting is fine with me but a lot of the ones from the shops used to put them in the cake - not so good.
I did also leave the walnuts out because my son is allergic, so there’s that. But left to my own devices, I’d rather have the walnuts on the side.
Embrace the joy, Goddess.
She’s right. Cooked raisins are an abomination. You’re a hero.
raisins are an abomination
I was once told that I ‘look like I’m going to ask someone to the Sadie Hopkins dance’. I assume they just meant I looked nice/dressed up, but it just struck me as interesting phrasing. Random people just tend to talk to me; a couple weeks ago I was at the gas station and an older guy struck up a conversation and commented that it was nice to see someone smile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sounds like they may have been referring to the “Sadie Hawkins dance” which is a middle school highschool dance where the girls ask the guys to be their date. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadie_Hawkins_dance
Several nurses have commented on my veins. Like to the point where I felt like I was getting hit on.
they just do that sometimes, it’s normal
source: dad was a nurseI had a teacher once that got turned on by veins. I found out after graduating because I met her at a bar and she was horny as hell from seeing my forearms. I use to climb a lot so veiny arms are part of the deal. So, a compliment about my veiny forearms was… special.
I “chew sexy”…was eating pizza at a girlfriend’s house.
What a weird thing for her dad to say.
From my ENT: You’ve got a very well maintained nose.
Uhm, thanks?
“I can tell you’re not a habitual cocaine user”
Nurses tend to like the veins in my left arm so I’ve had a few comments on that.
Oh I get this one. It’s usually along the lines of “the blood bank would love to have you” or even “I could find your veins blindfolded”
Yeah I got “wow, I could hit that by throwing a dart from across the room!” I am a favorite of phlebotomists, and I guess could be a successful junkie.
Got laid once because of my veiny arms so, not only nurses like them.
“You like like a modern interpretation of some Greek god of spice” I had a spig of rosemary tucked behind my ear and a shirt that reads “why so salty”
“You eat rice like Chinese person”
From the lady behind the counter as I was watching some bullshit on my phone and eating mapo tofu
I’m not even sure what that could mean. Maybe using chopsticks instead of a fork? I’ve always just eaten food with whatever utensil is typically used for that type of cuisine. I think most people, Chinese or otherwise, eat Chinese food with chopsticks, don’t they?
I think it was that I had picked up the takeout container close to my face and was using the chopsticks to shovel rice into my maw as I watched some video.
That’s just how you eat rice with chopsticks? How else are you supposed to do it without making a giant mess?
Western folks don’t usually hold the bowl and utensils so close to the face
Yeah, I’ve definitely gotten looks for picking up bowls close to my face in the west. Normal for my household, but not normal elsewhere.
Even for not-chopstick dishes like soup or pasta or something, I just find it easier to hold the bowl close to my face, rather than having to lean forward so much over a table just to not make a mess. That shit is how people learn bad posture.
Based on the post context it probably came across either as a backhanded or possibly with a racist sounding context. Like a woman being told she can use a wrench like a man comes across as sexist.
A ton of people in the US eat nearly every type of food with a fork, spoon, or knife. I have to go out of my way to ask for chopsticks most of the time, and most of the people I see eating at other tables are using forks.
I keep meaning to make sticky rice at some point. I also tend to eat rice with chopsticks at Chinese restaurants, but anywhere else the rice is too loose
Being complimented by the urologist on my shaving for a vasectomy.
there was a comment thread where there was something along the lines of “when my roommate peed you could HEAR how his urethra was wider than a normal person” and I don’t know how to feel about it
This is disturbing
