Gorrillas weigh between 219 and 600 lbs
According to Guiness World Records they can lift 1800 lbs.
They have an arm span of over 8 ft.
Feel free to try it but spend some time putting your estate on order, first.
An orangutan could grab a man by his feet and head and tear him in half, honestly i kind of doubt that the biggest most well trained man could even take on a chimpanzee and win without a weapon.
Assuming Anon has an estate to put in order… smh my head.
Look, Jim-Bob needs to know whether he’s getting the contents of that trailer or not.
they can lift 1800 lbs.
For a real-world comparison, ever try to move someone that’s passed out? That’s probably in the ballpark of 200lbs.
Now imagine lifting six people at once.
Current world records for a deadlift top out just shy of 1200 lbs.
Feel free to try it but spend some time putting your estate on order, first.
OP is definitely going to need a beefy insurance policy, a last will, and a pre-ordered coffin. Maybe they get ahead of the game and just give someone full power of attorney the day before. Assuming they stay in one piece, it’s possible that they could survive, but they’re going to need a new skeleton and a few vital organs to pull that off.
Don’t forget the bite force. Monkeys bite.
The gorilla will rip his arms off and beat him to death with them before he even attempts to dodge it.
All ya doubters sound like Joe Rogan on a chimp rant right now. Gorilla glazers…
I think he’s on to something… In these times of political and economical uncertainty, we should bring back ancient Rome colosseum style games. Modern fighters taking on wild animals for glory. Give the masses something to get excited about.
Let the man get himself dismembered by a gorilla as part of a bigger event with deadly races and feats of human strength.
Sounds like an average minimum wage jog tbh.
Damn. I coulda gotten paid to run.
Here I am doing it for free like a chump.
Just turned to my husband to ask are there really men out there who think they can really fight a goddamn gorilla??? Is it a joke? Have they SEEN a gorilla??? A chimp gonna kick your ass and they’re smaller than an adult man wtf!
Id personally be more scared of the chimp. The gorilla is mostly a peaceful animal.
I’m pretty sure 800 lbs of angry silverback would beat whatever krav maga bullshit, but whatever tough guy. Let me just grab a snack before you convince that normally peaceful ape to tear your fucking arm off.
Yeah, we weighs less than an average female gorilla. A preteen probably outweighs him. Newton has a few things to say about what will happen.
A gorilla at rest stays at rest, just wait for him to go to sleep then you literally can’t lose.
I think… I sucked at gorilla physics class.
you just fight a really slow gorilla instead
Why bother fight a gorilla. Just cut the forest down and polute his environment. Steal his children put them in a zoo. Cut off his hands then and turn them into ash trays. We have already dominated the natural world now we are working on dominating future generations.
Mike Tyson, in his prime, wanted to fight a gorilla. Mike Tyson was told he would be killed and backed down.
Well, he might rape the gorilla, then everyone will spend the next 2 decades defending him…
nah but anon is built different
If not for the ethics on the side of the gorilla in terms of making them fight a human, I legitimately do think we should let every single person who thinks they can 1v1 them try. Idiocy of this level voluntarily removing itself from the gene pool is a net good for the species.
It would at least give LiveLeak a reason to return.
There might be a line of 100 challengers. Once they see what happens to the first guy, they will scatter.
If any human would have a slight chance, it would have been Mike Tyson.
Hot (and irrelevant take) but I disagree. Mike Tyson was actually kinda small for a heavyweight and I don’t think any person stands a chance of knocking out a gorilla (have you seen the way their skulls are built?!). I think if any human had a slight chance it would be a huge wrestling or BJJ champion that knows how to grapple and maybe, idk, choke out a larger opponent with superior technique.
Hard disagree, the tendons are attached at different points then a human. This gives them a huge (mind mindbogglingly huge) strength advantage; something like 10 times stronger.
Chimps have a similar advantage, whilst smaller than us, they are also significantly stronger.
Human vs chimp, skill may make up for the strength disadvantage; but against a gorilla…not a chance, it would be like fighting a 5yo, sure they may have skill but nothing they could do would make up for the strength disadvantage.
Chimps are NOT stronger than humans, that is a common misconception. I posted a source for that somewhere else in this thread. Pound for pound they are stronger yes, but they are also significantly smaller than humans which more than balances it out. Attaching tendons differently isn’t a magic hack to increase strength; you could maybe increase torque but at the expense of travel distance of the affected joint (or vice versa).
Nah, anyone fighting a gorilla would be ins-ta-cooked no matter how strong or skilled they are. Their skin alone is like leather. Grappling a gorilla sounds like a death sentence. The best you could hope for is they think you are trying to play with them.
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Grappling a gorilla is such an unbelievably bad idea lmao, no matter the BJJ steez. You’re right, things are fucking tanks, just flat out invulnerable to us hand-to-hand.
Haha listen bro there are no good ideas against a gorilla. I’ve seen some pretty amazing grappling feats where a much much smaller person can submit their opponents… I think you physically just cannot knock out a gorilla though their skulls are too thick. Humans are uniquely vulnerable to getting KOd so I don’t think throwing punches or kicks is a valid strategy against a nonhuman
Go search up fighters like rampage Jackson or Kevin Randleman who regularly out muscled the very best grapplers, doing things like powerbombing their way out of submissions, then think how much smaller they are than a gorilla. Grappler is just as dead as a Boxer, Muay Thai fighter, or Karateka.
The way you beat a gorilla is through brains, not brawn. I would probably stand a better chance than Mike Tyson, because I know I don’t stand a chance head-on and would try tricks instead.
Famous last words haha
Yes, we are human, we should use our brains instead.
whips out hunting rifle
I don’t think any human from Eddie Hall, to peak era Brian shaw ,or francis ngannou would stand a chance, but I would like to see these three together try and take on a single gorilla! Perhaps give then Tom Aspinall also!!
Now that’s a PPV I’d drop $80 on no questions asked
Yeah, 3 inches taller and 40 pounds lighter. You’re not gonna beat a gorilla being a quarter the weight. You could maybe outrun it, but you’ll just get wrecked if you try to fight head on.
Yes, wrong mostly.
Especially in the head department.
Built different + got that dawg in em + wants it more
My money’s on anon
My money’s on the winner of this fight. As in, I would pay to see this fight, provided the money went the winner. That gorilla’s gonna bling up its habitat yo
Please do it anon and make sure you film this great achievement.
just jump over the fence into the zoo enclosure with him, and you’ll probably get your chance
The gorilla will use his insides as an Onahole when he’s finished with him.
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I could kick the shit out of a gorilla. Just give me a massive pile of rocks, sunscreen, 15 hours, and two Olympic swimming pools.
What are the pools for?
Swimming, usually. But for me? Also swimming. I enjoy swimming and gorillas do not.
I have this theory that with proper technique, you can beat anything you can lift in a fight. That being said, Gorillas are too heavy to lift. Conversely, you’ll likely have extreme difficulty fighting anything that’s too heavy for you to lift. Anything with natural weapons, like sharp teeth, this rule of thumb likely also doesn’t apply to. Anything larger than a cat should be considered dangerous by default.
Even cats will fuck you up if they really intend to.
Only to a point though. They can break your skin, but they’re so small that you can literally throw them across the room. There’s no way a cat survives a human trying to kill them short of running away.
I think part of the problem with cats is that you don’t want to injure the cat, but the cat has no problem with injuring you. The stories I hear from people who dealt with panicking/aggressive cats are mostly about catching the cat without hurting it, while avoiding getting hurt yourself.
I was in a situation where a friend’s very aggressive cat was looking at a small lizard that escaped while I was supposed to be feeding both, but not to each other obviously. Basically I had to willingly put my hands into a blender to solve this. But I managed to get her into a different room and close the on her without hurting her in any way.
Oh, and the lizard also bit me when I picked it up to put it back into its terrarium, but at that point I was way past caring.
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What doesn’t make you want to do drugs??
Exactly, I guess that was what I was getting at. A cat will mess you up, but only as long as you tolerate it. (I love cats btw. would never dream of hurting one)
Wait, you think you couldn’t beat a giraffe?
One punch from my scrawny nerd warrior arms and that fucker would shrug then donkey kick me half way across the fucking Serengeti.
No, you’re approaching this the wrong way. You run towards it at full speed, then get a 45° angle and jump. While doing so, you grab their neck like a pole, and use the force to hoist yourself upon their back.
You either already killed them with this move, or you’re now on their back and holding their throat. There’s nothing a giraffe can do to throw you down or attack you now. You can just choke, and choke, and keep choking it until it falls to its knees.
Their neck starts at 3 meter height tho.
Not the necks of teenage giraffes!
You lost me at “run”. Can I bring my inhaler or does that count as a tool?
Oh, you’re American? I guess you could drive your scooter up specifically designed ramp to reach their back. Though I feel most animals wouldn’t stand a chance against you guys on their back.
It can roll over. Do you like your legs? Besides, unless you’re a lion, good luck jumping up there. And even then, you’re not choking a giraffe out. Their neck is basically only muscle.
Am I stupid, or did I miss the “rolling over”? I just saw the giraffe lady down while saying “choke me harder daddy”
I just saw the giraffe lady
Aww, I must have missed her.
That’s a typo I’ll gladly keep!
Are you a 150kg murder machine with claws that can high jump several times it’s size? Even then, the lion got thrown off not once, but twice. Thinking you could fight a giraffe and win is dellusional
Lions cannot jump several times their height. They can leap forward several times their height and length. Not straight up. https://images.app.goo.gl/NhdZC
No, I lost some weight, so not quite. What lions have in claw strength, I however have in elbow strength!
I can lift a fully-grown horse above my head, and I can hold my breath for ten minutes.
To settle a wager, I once ate a pound of P.B. Fouke’s strongest badger poison and then ran a mile in the nude. I cannot feel pain, and I can see for two miles unaided by a lens. No man can kill me. I have beaten a man of every race in formal combat, including a Turk, a Pygmy Negro Man and a rare Deepwater Jew.
A medical doctor and two priests have written and signed a document confirming that I have no soul.
The problem with apes is that relative to their size, they have way more muscle mass than humans. They have lower myostatin levels, so their muscle density is ridiculous.
There are humans that could absolutely lift a gorilla, but there’s absolutely no chance that they could win a fight against one. Even a strongman is going to struggle against a chimp.
Humans are different because we discovered tools which meant we were more successful hunters. Since large muscles require more calories, natural selection did its thing and we got much weaker.
You know a lot of people that could lift 800lbs at all, much less when it’s fighting back with that strength? I can sled 800lbs, but no way in hell anyone is just picking that up.
There are plenty of people who can lift 800lbs in the idealized form of barbells along certain ranges of motion, such as the deadlift or squat. However, I sincerely doubt any human could lift 800lbs of dead weight gorilla, much less one that is struggling. The heaviest stones that have been lifted are in the mid 600# range, and lifting a stone is easier than lifting an equivalent weight of floppy body.
Not me personally, but strongman competitions are a thing.
Humans and performance enhancing drugs can do some crazy shit. Check out the Physical 100 show on… Netflix? Those fuckers squat 600lb like it was a fanny pack, and they’d still get wrecked.
Sort of my point. The squat bar, deadlifts, etc. aren’t fighting back. I’ll check the show out.
Ronnie Coleman is the only person on earth that I know of as being able to used to lift 800lbs. I want to bold used to his muscles got strong enough but his tendons, ligaments, and bones weren’t. His body is wrecked and can’t really move without help.
Point is even if someone could pick up 800lbs of gorilla, they ain’t doing much afterwards but getting killed by that gorilla.
The current world record for deadlifts is over 1,100lb and squats are over 1,300lb.
But yeah, they’re still going to lose.
No, we are first that way because we exhaustion hunted prey. Endurance in human is ridiculous (thanks to sweating) but we aren’t that strong. Then came the throwing, with adaptions in the shoulders. Best any other ape can “throw” is a few meters, not tens of it.
Orangutans have entered the chat. Their only natural weapons are the long guns they’re packing. Lean machine all folded up in a big skin sack. Plenty of humans could bench an adult orangutan, zero humans are winning that fight.
That being said they’re basically just a half step down the neurology ladder and 2 steps up the jungle ladder, so it makes sense that they would outclass us.
Vimes picked himself up off the greasy cobbles and stared at the Librarian.
He was experiencing something which had come as a shock to many people,
usually in much more unpleasant circumstances such as a brawl started in the Mended Drum when the ape wanted a bit of peace and quiet to enjoy a reflective pint, which was this:
the Librarian might look like a stuffed rubber sack, but what it was stuffed with was muscle.GNU Terry Pratchett!
I’m pretty sure an Orangutan could lift a human, though.
way more easily than a human could lift an orangutan
Lots of creatures within the realm of benchable weight often have specialized defenses that could constitute a 1-hit KO if you fuck up in the slightest.
A chimp could rip your arms off. A kangaroo could crack all your ribs with a kick.
If you consider these “natural weapons” then sure, I guess that just limits you to fighting juvenile cows or something, at which point I’ll give it to you, I could probably take a newborn calf in a fight.
If you attack a calf, their mother will fuck you up, though. I suppose the lesson here is that humans should use weapons to fight animals.
Or just set up a trap so the target will fall on it while you’re running away. Don’t fuck up
Sure, like a baby gorilla that has just been born and has been removed from the mother.
