I think she’s a keeper
I think you should keep her away from a kitchen
She shouldn’t have
But really…
I swear I saw the bacon move.
This was not an act of love, but rather the exact opposite
Crime against humanity
Did she boil the fucking bacon? Is that how it came out that way? I don’t know it’s weird. I mean hard-boiled eggs just do that sometimes but what the fuck. It’s not hard to throw it in a frying pan. My fiance bakes it which is… Fine…
Yes, all cooked in the same pot at the same time as the eggs :>
Call ICE on her. If she’s white, tell them she’s irish. They don’t count as white again, so she’ll get sent to Venezuela where she might learn something about cooking. It might be cooking meth, but that’s still preferable to whatever that atrocity in the picture is.
Yeah 🙃 Keep’er far away from the kitchen.
Well, she’s definitely not a cooker.
“Hey, why don’t I cook next time?”
this whole mountain is pure snow
Hmm, good old weaponized incompetence
Lmao that’s so real, I think she boiled the bacon out of spite.
Red flag.
It looks more pink than red to me.
That’s grey/gray
Damn… Wtf did you do to piss her off that she boiled the bacon while boiling the eggs?
Energy efficiency. It’s no crime to care about global warming 🧐
The methane the pig and chicken made are worse than the gas it would take to cook them.
I’d assume if you care about global warming you’d also avoid eating meat. Maybe more important for beef than bacon though. Anyway, I interrupted your chewing, please continue!
In that case I agree, def. a keeper.
I think you meant to type “in this case, it is!” but your typey sticks got a bit wayward and hit the wrong buttons. Happy to help :)
How does boiled bacon taste?
Bacon abuse is a crime.
The amount of energy you (as a consumer) use is nominal in comparison to big corporations; especially the big corporate farms. So you might as well heat up a second pan to make the bacon, because you’re suffering unnecessarily for no gains.
But make no mistake, what I said above is in no way a negative reflection on you or your future wife.
future ex- wife
ftfy
You’re as bad as the chauffeur, who – directly after my wedding ceremony – said “You still have 24 hours to change your mind”. 🙄
Classy
It’s my fault. I should’ve picked a different chauffeur when the first time I called them and said I was getting married, and his response was “oh, a standing funeral.” 🤦♂️
Oof yeah, definitely not a good start, is there a way to sound even more divorced than that?
Are we just ignoring the significant amount of energy it would take to get a pot of water up to a boil?
I think this might be an exception…
Fry it all on the same pan.
I’ll take an extra fire tornado, to never have to see that again
No no no. In this case it was a crime against the memory of that pig.
We shall cook these items in the light of the sun. -Human girlfriend
BF/GF2 should raise the bar on her, perfect opportunity to flex.
Bacon should be cooked on a single layer in a pan preheated to medium high (about 2/3rds the dial) and flipped after some of the bacon has begun to shrink. Cover and reduce heat, remove from heat once the sizzling sound becomes quieter. The line between perfect bacon and overcooked perhaps slightly burnt is a number of seconds.
For boiled eggs, heat the water to a Rolling Boil. Very important. Then carefully lower in the eggs with some utensils. Wet yoke but cooked whites is usually achieved after about 3 minutes. Fully cooked after 8 to 10 minutes. Rinse the eggs and set in cold water for at least 2 minutes. The egg shells should be able to peel completely off without missing pieces because we brought to water to boil before adding the eggs.
For toast we’re going to use my Honey White Bread recipe, but you’ll have to rise it for at least 4 hours so maybe start it the night before.
- 4 cups bread flour
- 1 and 1/4 cup water
- 1/6th cup honey
- 1.5 teasp Salt
- 2 teasp Active Yeast (I buy the brown jars, they’re more effective than packets because the yeast needs to be alive)
- 1 tablesp olive oil
Mix by hand, then flatten and roll, then flatten and roll the other direction. Continue kneading until one consistent texture. It should be smooth and have a slight gloss to it. If it’s too stratified or loose add small amounts of water, if it’s too sticky then add flour. Cover with thin plastic or with a wet cloth, if the cloth sticks then wet it some more and it should let go. Rise for 2 hours, knead it again, then move it to the pan to rise it again for at least 2 and up to 16 hours (the longer you wait the more sour-dough like taste it obtains). Prepare either a breadpan, thin and tall work best, or a flat pan with parchment paper by covering it in solid at room temp coconut oil.
Cooking temp and time can depend on pan choice but a safe bet is 385F for about 30 to 40 minutes. You want to pull it out once as much of the crust as possible has browned. You can optionally apply a beaten mixture of egg and water (“egg wash” they call it) with a brush every 10 to 15 minutes to achieve a soft thin crust, then cover with wet cloth after pulling out. If not using egg wash, finish with a brush of olive oil and a light salting near completion and let cool without covering. Let sit for 20 minutes to cool.
I don’t have a recipe for butter but salted butter for a topping or unsalted for baking with.
Recipe is totally unusable, no preface about a trip to Rome and how you were feeling, nothing.
Just straight up Recipe that’s ludicrous
The line between perfect bacon and overcooked perhaps slightly burnt is a number of seconds.
This is the biggest reason I bake bacon. I can bake nearly a pound of bacon in the time it takes to make the rest of breakfast and seconds don’t make the difference between perfect and burnt. You can dial that shit in to the perfect level of crispiness.
Bacon spread out on a cooling rack set inside a sheet pan in a cold oven. Set to bake at 200°C or 400°F. After 20 minutes, check on it every 5 minutes until done to your liking. Thicker bacon takes longer obviously. Drain the grease and save for later cooking use.
Your egg instructions are rediculous and don’t account for elevation. Using those instructions will not yield the same results everywhere
Elevation doesn’t account for density height let alone pressure height. Instructions incomplete
Step 1. Descend to sea level.
Step 2. Cook eggs.
I’m sorry for your loss.
May it find flavor in the afterlife🙏
