You gotta get that human a second human, they’re so much easier to take care of when there’s two of them! Make sure they’re neutered though, don’t want to take care of a litter!
Also, don’t mind the constant humping
Only if both humans consent! Otherwise you might need to separate them or keep a spray bottle handy to stop the behavior!
How would you know? It’s not like their thinking units have inter-robot wireless link modules. They just make cute sounds with their ingest cloacae. We really need to stop robotomorphising the humans, acting like they’re capable of such abstract concepts, and imposing our advanced moral systems on them. They have non-consensual interactions all the time, it’s in their nature.
“Its shitposting all over the carpet. And you think thats cute?”
now it’s reposting it all over the place. honey, i think we should call the vet.
I would totally be happy being a robot’s pet. I bet they’d give me a great gaming PC if I promised not to pee on the sofa.
if I promised not to pee on the sofa.
There’s always some over the top requirements!
Well there are other ways to mark my territory, to be fair.
Yeah less fun ways!
Or more fun ways. Like cumming on the sofa.
Found JD Vance’s Lemmy account!
We didn’t invent Cheetos stains for nothing. It’s a strong marker.
Nah, my luck I end up adopted by some redneck robot, like the ones that build trucks or something, and I have to live chained to a tree, sleeping in an old tractor tire.
Sometimes I get sad I have no one with this kind of humor and the language skills to share memes like this with.
You can send them to me. I love this kinda stuff.
We’d make great pets
I’m hoping this is partly a Porno for Pyros reference.
Naturally
moby from brainpop if he didn’t have paint
My bots always try to get me to buy micro transactions and toxic radioactive herbal medicine from China.
I have started actively refusing games with microtransactions and it’s great
But that black salve seems so efficient in removing blemishes (by dissolving the top skin layers)
I for one volunteer!
Where do I sign up?
I’m gonna get an upvote cat toy and wave it at the puppygirls
A human on a leash walks past another human on a leash. They lock eyes on their t-shirts.
“Team Jacob sucks!”
“No, Team Edward sucks harder!”
“Jacob sucks the most!”
“Edward was sucking before Jacob was even born!”
“Jacob sucks more in a single year than Edward sucks in several extended lifetimes!”
“Edward sucks full time though, whereas Jacob only sucks part-time!”
… etc
