It can be linked to pain, loss and really sad things. What’s it like for you?
I’ve been no contact with my mom for over a decade now. She rejected me due to me being gay and still isn’t accepting. She’s very old school third world Orthodox Catholic.
As for the day, it’s not too bad so long as I avoid ads and such trying to extract money from me for the event.
I’ve come to peace with the fact that we will never have a relationship and honestly it’s better now than when we were in contact since even before knowing I was gay she was incredibly physically and emotionally abusive.
I’m in a similar position so I can really relate. It’s horrible being rejected for being gay, and it’s totally wrong. You did great getting through all that.
Have you seen [email protected] I go there when I need parenting or parental advice
Thanks. I’m in my thirties now and don’t need a dad or mom (actually I’ve been pretty independent most of my life and never really expected anything from either of them).
For the last couple of years though I have been in contact with my dad about once a year which is about as much as I can tolerate since he’s also a MAGA conservative Christian though just slightly more accepting of gay people since he was raised in Western culture unlike my mom (still thinks I’m going to hell though), and he reached out.
As long as we can avoid politics or religion the chat is fine. He inevitably starts raving positively about Trump, defending rapists, or disparages trans people so that’s when I stop the conversation/visit.
That’s great that you’ve found a path through! Stopping it when the politics turn up is a good idea
One Mother’s Day, I got up really early - I was like 7-8. I decided to do the laundry and dishes as my “Mother’s Day present.” I spent probably 4 or so hours, cleaning.
When my mother woke up, she complained that I hadn’t folded the clothes correctly.
She also had me diagnosed with childhood schizophrenia and medicated for telling on her when she was getting too stoned to remember to pick me up from school.
I really wanted to be a parent myself someday, and it’s never going to happen. I’ll probably drink a few beers and get stoned after work.
You may consider becoming part of the Big Brother/Big Sisters club (if in the US). That way you can be a good presence in their life without having to commit to parenting 24/7. Bigs are not replacement parents, but rather someone to be a good friend to the child/Little, spending one on one time with them, being a good role model in their lives, and giving them/guiding them through new experiences with a trusted and safe adult. My understanding is that all the Littles in the program have lost one or more of their parents. Anyway, it’s something to consider being part of if you ever want to scratch that itch.
Sorry your Mom wasn’t good to you. I’m glad you still have the kindness and willingness to be better than those that came before. I wish you a wonderfully cold beverage, strong greens, and a beautiful sunset this evening.
Reminds me of childhood ptsd from abusive parents.
I hope my mother gets hit by a car, the world would be a nicer place.
Luckily in my family we never did anything special other than telling mom “happy mothers day” and on the first sunday of june “happy fathersday” to dad.
What “triggers” me is that I have to contact them…
I buy my grandmother, who raised me a nice gift.
It has been tradition in our family that I would make heart shaped pancakes for my wife while the kids would pick some flowers and draw some pictures and then we’d serve her breakfast in bed.
But now I’m too disabled to do any of that. And we all mourn that loss.
I’m disabled so I can really relate, it can mean you miss out on nice things. It’s a lovely thing you cant do and a loss.
It wasn’t an important thing up until a few years ago but over time we got closer (again?) and now it is a nice excuse to spend time with someone I like spending time with. Still not important, but definitely nice now. This might not be achievable for everyone, I know, but I’m grateful for it and wanted to share that.
