I’ll go first…after 10 years of speculating in the market (read: gambling in high risk assets) I realized I shouldn’t ever touch a brokerage account in my lifetime. A monkey would have made better choices than I did. Greed has altered the course of life many times over. I am at an age where I may recover from my actions over the decades, but it has taken its toll. I am frugal and have a good head on me, but having such impulsivity in financial instruments was not how I envisioned my adulthood. Its a bitter pill to swallow, since money is livelihood of my family, but I need to “invest” all I have into relationships, meaningful moments, and fulfilling hobbies.
I’m a bitter, angry, mfer and I need to chill out sometimes
Relatable tbh. I think a good part of it was depression in my younger years, but, I used to be an incredibly angry person.
It took a long time for me to accept that the truth is, you don’t get angry about shit you don’t care about. Hard to accept that half the things I’d get angry at weren’t worth it. The other half anger just wasn’t a helpful response. Been a long process of learning to have a better reaction for me.
Yeah I had a lot of issues as a kid too and being angry felt a hell of a lot better than being sad. Eventually it just got exhausting though. I can only imagine how annoying I was for other people to deal with. At least I was never one to lash out at others too much thanks to my mother showing me how it felt to be on the receiving end of that all the time.
Being angry is still basically my default emotional state but it’s at least much less intense than it used to be which I think is a decent achievement considering how much there is to be angry about these days
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Same here. I lose my temper too easily then I get back to normal quickly and wonder why I was so upset.
I’ve started noticing that I’m echoing some of the bad habits of my father, either behaviorally or genetically, I’m not sure which. I’m determined to never go down that path because I’ve seen what it’s done to our family. I’ve made some changes that will hopefully head that off. If those don’t help, there’s always professional help.
Still, depressing to realize.
Similar boat. It helps to have someone who is willing to (kindly and patiently) call you out on it, with the understanding that it’s what you want them to do. Good luck, stay strong and be confident that acknowledging the issue and wanting to change are huge steps you’ve already taken
Thank you! Good luck to you too :)
I feel you. I have to keep reminding myself that a lot of my anxiety isn’t mine - it’s my mom’s. I just inherited the behaviors that she picked up, that in turn were created in reaction to my (long-gone) toxic grandfather’s abuse.
Generational trauma probably lurks behind all of us, deeprooted and insidious, propping up maladaptive behaviors that go unexamined simply because they are considered “normal” in our families.
I am cringe, but I am free.
Me too, thanks.
I once had an Excedrin get stuck in my throat sideways. That was a pretty uncomfortable several hours of my life.
I really am kind of messy but it’s because I work so much I don’t have time to do anything properly at all. I always feel frantic.
That I didn’t know who I was. My lack of self awareness hampered my growth trajectory, my maturity, and relationships. My first failed marriage was a pinnacle of this issue. Though, fast forward 5 years, I’m a vastly different person, know who I am and what I want and where I want to end up. I feel guilty for my ex wife and the impact I had on them. I hope they’re happier where ever they may be.
Know thyself…congrats. I can say with certainty that the guilt of affecting ones close to you will never leave you. Light comes from darkness.
That sounds super healthy actually. Good outlook to have. We all make mistakes, what matters is if we learned from them.
Self discovery - the journey of a lifetime
that ending a relationship that isn’t working is also my responsibility, instead of postponing it, thinking “this time things will be alright” or “if i break up, everyone will think wrong of me” and letting dissatisfaction grow inside me, turning myself into an *sshole.
That choosing a relationship with someone who is monkeybranching into the relationship with you directly from another relationship is you allowing someone in your life who is fundamentally dishonest and manipulative. It’s one thing to be casually dating in general, and just finding someone you click with and ending it with the people you are casually dating, but entering a relationship with someone who pursues you even though they’re in an ostensibly committed relationship is choosing to accept someone who is really not a good person, because they will just do whatever they want and eventually hurt you without a qualm too. Tolerating any of this means you are tolerating abuse, really.
Unfortunately he didn’t tell me this fact until 18 months into it, but that should have been what made me realize that he wasn’t trustworthy and leave then.
Also committing from the get go and falling in love? That’s just also not valuing yourself. You’re just looking for someone to fit into your life because you don’t love yourself enough to wait and take your time and get to know someone, and you’re afraid to be alone and have nobody to care for you. And I did all of that, because I was immature, completely without any idea of how to make it in life alone or cope alone, and I thought that was all I deserved and was the only way to be safe. And it was all wrong.
Being safe in my marriage wasn’t the same as being happy. We didn’t fight or argue, we didn’t hate each other or even dislike each other. We didn’t throw things at each other and scream at each other. After my childhood, I thought this was a happy healthy relationship. Turns out, we’re great friends but we aren’t in love. Now that I’ve discovered what happy, healthy AND in love is like, my mind is blown.
I never understood the comments from my friends that I didn’t seem happy. I thought I was…
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Anyone can open an account. I did not type this to brag. I wanted to hear what other people have realized about themselves. I don’t own a home/have a mortgage and my cars are beaters. If only I put the money to use in a way that meant something to myself and the people I loved instead of making poor decisions, I might actually be better off in life now.
If you have the discipline to only toss in a hundred and then use that to play around with or contribute 20$ a month from your job then you can do that stuff. But it’s not easy if you’re someone that always goes all in.
Pretty cool thing to learnabout yourself and your own bias i think.
I cannot sing.
So what? Sing all you want. Take a big fart in every kareoke bar you visit. Who cares?
Even in the shower?
I emit a series of sounds that would be considered a crime by every advanced civilization.
Then come to America, friend!
I need to get a grip when driving and not let others upset me so easily.
7Hey fellow road rager! I too suffer from this aillment while knowing at the same time that it could be life threatening if I cross paths with an armed short fused a$$hole. I live in a very high traffic city with stuff to do on both sides of it, taking my kid to some classes results in a two hour commute and then two hours back home. Not easy and it makes me want to light my hair on fire sooooo me and my kid play the “maybe” game:
Maybe that guy cut me off because he is pooping in his pants (Kid laughs and it Takes the edge of me bursting into flames)
Maybe that lady trying to pass me in a not so nice way is late for her flight to (insert whatever place you/your kid think of and talk about what things you’d like to do there. While in Italy, for example, we thought about asking for a pizza with pineapple on it and putting a clown wig on the David)
I could go on and on (I won’t) but the main thing is to redirect my anger as energy to somewhere else.
I find it amusing when I do it with my kid because it helps us connect while spending time together. When I am by myself I play it too, but the NSFW version: This guy is tailgating me because he cannot wait to get pegg3d when he gets home. Etc etc. I chuckle for a bit and let it pass. Not kink shaming anyone at all.
Maybe I am a bit insane but this has helped me tremendously.
Great outlook i need to try this
Stay in the basement. No driving required.
I read somewhere that if you’re angry when you’re driving, you’re actually angry about something not driving-related. It’s just manifesting while you’re behind the wheel.
I don’t know about that, I’ll be fine until someone with no comprehension of “right of way” nearly kills me. Those moments usually create a string of angry swears that would make a sailor proud.
The realization of how truely alone I am when everything started collapsing after our house was sold and how my parents who supposedly were suppose to love me, don’t love me and how I do have daddy issues because of this and I am not exactly as strong mentally as I thought of myself to be.
That I have a tendency towards addiction with drugs. I’ve been high (marijuana) more often than not for the past decade, with spurts of alcoholism peppered in throughout my adult life. I also had a phase for about a year where I did shrooms once or twice a week.
I still struggle with my consumption, but at least now I’m aware that it can easily get to the point where it affects my life too much and can cut back when I’m starting to feel like I’m getting sucked in. I think I’ll always be an addict of some form or another, though.
I am an “all or nothing type”. Have weed in the house? It will be smoked daily. But, I stopped years ago. Stopped thinking about it, stopped being around people associated with it. I am proud now. I hope to be proud years from now from not throwing money away. Gotta let go and not think about it.
It was an incredibly large antibiotic pill because I didn’t want to shower (it took away from reading) and I got impetigo.
