I couldn’t remember the song title Pink Pony Club and called it Hoke Pokey Unicorn the other day… so that
“People don’t have pensions anymore?”
No, Mom, we don’t.
pulling myself up by my bootstraps
What should I do with my savings today?
Let me just talk for a while, you’ll get some
Dad gum
Boy, I sure love owning a house.
Hey, I’m heading into my late 40s and I haven’t been able to say that yet lol
So not old, cool
Television set.
“I’m not THAT old, but …”
“Here, have a Werther’s.”
I’m in my 20s and have for years had a stash of these…
Tight timeline, but I guess you could be a grandparent.
“moderate Republicans”
Shaking like a dog shittin’ prune seeds
My knees hurt.
After living with my grandma for so long I started saying “god willing” and people keep telling me it makes me sound old lol
‘Like watching a monkey try to fuck a football’
‘About as useful as a wooden dick on a sawhorse’
Etc.
