Now poopin #2573819 analyzing… Not mouse based on diameter, not horse due to consistency, not human or dog according to length. Cow not detected via splat-o-meter measuring system.
Wombat detected!
Geometry based wombat detection system has detect wombat poop. 50% confidence. It could also be Lego.
I’m honestly surprised they use Bluetooth for profiles. I figured it would scan your asshole and use that as a biometric like your retina.
Not even your shittiest moments will be out of reach for the AI.
What if multiple people use the toilet? Does this device have some sort of poop-id?
Hopefully with a strong passphrase too. I don’t want my step parents to see my poop history when they come over.
Edit: actually, I don’t want to see theirs either D:
AI and turds are redundant, btw.
Where all AIs belong.
The billions spent chasing these unicorns could be so much better used to lift communities out of poverty and give clean water and housing to thousands. Our priorities are fucked.
We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.
But where are we supposed to find dirt-cheap labor if we eradicate poverty?! Won’t someone think of the shareholders?
And yet…
Reverse digestion extrapolation!
fucking gay woke ai telling to eat more vegetables
Poomaster 5000 will determine your level of productivity from your crap! Think how that will benefit your betters!
Shit’s gett’n creeeepyyy
Just a screen that says, “corn again, huh?”
Poop jokes and big tech’s data hunger aside, this seems to me one of the more useful applications of AI: Checking for early signs of medical problems.
…Uranus.
BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHJCTJDYHVDHV!!!
During covid, cities were testing the sewage to get an idea how many people had covid. We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting, and it could route the waste to a personal testing chamber.
Covid is still a pandemic and sewage is still being tested to monitor for spikes of cases in countries which have stopped funding rapid antigen tests
We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting
Or just an extra upward facing camera.
Kids in 2050: “Everybody knows the myth that no two buttholes look alike is just an urban legend to convince you to reverse image search your butthole against the TOTO leak of 2034.”
I have Crohns. This would help monitor disease activity for sure. And having more data could help understand triggers better.
Isn’t that what Reddit does already?
This doesn’t require a poop knife.
