MH and academics plus a whole lot of complaining
Yep so I got the confirmation that I’ve failed two subjects because of late submissions. Submitting things late and just being numb to deadlines is a real problem for me.
This whole uni thing doesn’t feel real anymore. Nothing does really. I am so sick of being on the verge of panic every single day, and not being able to sleep. I’ve been putting way too much pressure on myself to the point where I’m trying to get a H1 assignment of me, in a couple of days, in an attempt to reduce the impact of the late penalty. But I am getting absolutely nothing out.
I love the uni, I love the course, I’ve met so many wonderful people, and I would be giving up a social opportunity that is hard to get as you get older and meet fewer people. Despite all the hiccups, tears and questioning, I think I want to stay in the course because I can’t see myself doing anything else. I think getting this degree and doing this career will make me more resilient, and a better person. I don’t want to “give up” and just get any random job or stay in retail forever.
So hopefully I won’t get kicked out, and worst case scenario, I’ll just have to repeat a couple of units and spend an extra few months at uni.
I’ll see my psych again to ask for advice, maybe try out ADHD meds because I can’t continue being numb to deadlines and getting long extensions that just delay things even further, and as soon as I get an assignment, at least taking a look at it. This is jeopardising my future career. I feel like ADHD meds won’t work and will suck for my heart function. Surely, there’s another way.
“Just start the bloody things earlier!”Before the adhd meds, I washed dishes in a Cafe and was bad at it.
Post adhd meds and with the help of a friend to get my foot in the door, I run a team of IT professionals.
That big of a difference.
Wow. That’s a really big difference. Good on you.
I’ll get onto it. Hopefully there’s something out there that’s not going to kill my heart and worsen my anxiety.
Heartrate settles after a few weeks.
Careful dosing ensure anxiety is at a minimum.
We can only hope. And I’m worried about sleep too, vyvanse kept me awake for far too long.
I have a psychiatry appointment booked in for August! Pretty far away, but it is what it is.
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I think I’d prefer to avoid benzos, but thanks for the suggestion. I think much of the anxiety will dissipate when the academic stress is gone.
Not just psychologically addictive… They are one of the few drugs with potentially lethal withdrawal effects. The physical withdrawals are fucked too
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My lost Bunnings order has finally made it to me 🥳 I can now put my house number on the letterbox, finally.
Unfucking things that are now fucked, that you tried to keep unfucked, is fucked.
It’s only 8:15am :(
So well put, I am very familiar with this feeling. Good luck.
That’s quite a start to the day. I hope things work out
Good luck man ❤️
🤝
Hang in there
“I’m walking on Sunshine, wooo ohhh ohh”.
Fuck you shitty manager.
It’s a crumpet kinda morning
A Canadian celebration breakfast put on by young Mr Seagoon , we had pancakes and maples syrup and fresh coffee. Tonight it will ne Canadian mac n cheese. With crumbled crisps baked on top. It’s a Canadian thing.
Then a walk n on the dog beach with Miss Seagoon and Bear the Irish terrier. I picked up ten new kinds of shells.
here is Miss Seagoon and Bear
then shopping in the city, a quick bite and we went to Clock museum, which was a weird place.
Now home for a few days while the big storm blows through.😊
I love the young Seagoons so much 🥹
Loving that beach view!
What a wholesome day, I am so happy that you’re getting this time with them. What made the clock museum weird?
Enjoy the downtime!
to be surrounded by so many weird looking clocks , many ticking, chiming was just weird
That’s like my mum’s house.
Naw. They love you too!
Can you please please please try the Bluff oysters and get back to us.
This is great thanks!
I saw a fox just before.
I’m worried that by leaving food for the strays overnight that I’ve put them in danger…
I’ve had to accept that I can only really give these guys a helping hand. Still trying to find a rescue to take them, feeding them everyday.
I can’t really do much more. I can trap them and get them spayed and vaccinated but they’re still pretty much in danger 24/7.
I’ve gotten way too attached.
Tough pill to swallow.
it’s like having kids, you have to trust that they can look after themselves
I have seen one of my cats successfully go on the offensive on a fox. They aren’t as helpless as you might think.
Cat TMI, poop talk
Melbcat has started having frequent little accidents and while I’m hoping that it’s only temporary I’m scared that she might be losing control of her bowels.
She’s still seeming mostly comfortable, bright and alert, still eating and washing herself. No current urinary incontinence. She’s stopped crying since this started.
I’m just spiraling because I’m aware age is catching up to her and I’m terrified of the future. I feel about Melbcat the way people feel about their child.
Furbaby had a cuddle, napped, then has been woken for dinner and meds. I hope she’s feeling a bit better.
spoiler
I’m dropping the Osmolax down and starting to give her probiotics in the hope that helps her tummy. Maybe even try a little psyllium husk instead.
Also I’m glad you guys are around. You’re good people.
Party preparations have begun
wtf is that thing in the corner stab it.
🤣
Giant pez dispenser. Young people nowadays.
Amazing!!! Have the most fun!
Looks awesome!
It looks fun 😃
So cool! Can I ask where the lights are from?
Sure. It’s just two lights. The LED ”neon”sign is off Etsy and there is a white pin spot on the disco ball from DJ City (various locations in Melbourne)
Your outfit better have enough bling to justify those lights
That’s a great point, however I’m just a set designer and lighting tech for the festivities.
That’s quite a room (I have not kept up with what you’re doing tonight at all).
Well, I asked for more field work, and while I was out onto one site I got called up to go to two more, in the rain and cold and everything. But it helped; I feel heaps better today despite some challenging people to deal with (not colleagues). Needed to get oot and aboot!
Gonna go in tomorrow and probably work a full day - heading out midday with the team for an industry meeting/conference thing. Earning that extra money as much as I can. Lord knows I need it. Psych appt got moved to tomorrow so I’ll be budgeting carefully until next Friday evening… Need to reschedule dentist again…
Now what to do at home? Maybe some long overdue journalling. Still getting used to not having this big acute deadline hanging over my head ☺️ might also watch an Ang Lee classic, Eat Drink Man Woman.
Any shows to watch?
I’m halfway through Eat Drunk Man Woman. It’s a really wonderful snapshot of Asian family dynamics and life in Taiwan in the 90s, incredibly engaging. Also, the FOOD PORN holy sheeeeeit
Picked up a friend from the Austin Repat today. The place is a time warp. So run down, I’m surprised it’s still useable at all. Desperately in need of a major refurbishment.
Advanced Tribbles?
Perfect little furry buttons! Argh!
For a moment there I was thinking lazy cats.
They are such sweeties 💓
Got an invite to weekly catchup with operations manager.
The deal is sealed 🎉🎉🎉
Is that good news?
Yep. I now report to the douche managers boss.
Awesome!
There’s cracks in the foundations of my mind
Now every structure is compromised
And I lie and say I’m alright
But my can of worms has snakes inside
So I keep the lid closed
And seal my lips so
So my loved ones do not know
I’ll be the keeper of their happiness
And prolong their blissful ignorance
Of the cracks in the foundations of my mindThere’s a crack in everything
It’s where the light gets in
Thank you 💜💜 that’s a profound perspective shift 💜💜
♥️ oof I know this
I couldn't help making a verse. Spoilered in case that's rude but you made me cry and think how it's a bit different for me now
Some cracks close quietly after so many nights
Some cracks lie until a single flower takes hold
Bright yellow in the dark.
Some cracks I tend tirelessly
Filling in with gold so they SHINE BABY SHINE.Some cracks stay, deeper then ever
Snakes give way to dragons
None shall pass, not even you, child
We will hold and fight, and remember.Quiet now, I know how to tread, where to avoid
The scars in the foundation of my mindIt’s not rude! It’s beautiful! Thank you for sharing, truly and sincerely! Big hugs and good vibes! 💜💜💜
♥️♥️
