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Tater tot: A good tater tot is like butter. Pure salt and crunch then melt in your mouth deliciousness.
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Onion Rings: Good onion rings is technically better than tater tots, but the spectrum of bad to good onion rings is very wide.
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Curly Fries: Curly Fries are hard to fuck up. I don’t even think I’ve had a variation of curly fries. They’re all the same to me, but they’re so good.
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Wedges: Wedges have a smaller spectrum than onion rings, but the ceiling is lower and they’re hard to rank better than the ones ahead of them.
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Shoestring: McDonalds
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ZigZag: These can range from heavenly to straight fucking trash. Unfortunately they’re too easy to turn into straight fucking trash. By that I mean you have to put more work into them to make them good as opposed to just salt and oven/fried. Might as well just try to fry some snow at that point.
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Sweet Potato: I’ve had good sweet potato fries but I rarely get good sweet potato fries.
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Waffle: I don’t get these. They’re ass. The only place that makes them kinda tolerable is Chik-Fila, but even then they’re still ass to me. Can’t even make them good at home without drowning them in salt and ketchup. I can slice up a potato and chuck them in the oven and get better results most of the time.
Edit for formatting. Apparently piefed, doesn’t honor your numbering and turns it into 1, 2, 3, etc even if you go 8, 12, 3.
I nearly dismissed your review until you qualified your assessment of onion rings. I have transposed the order on those first two myself
They’re close. I might give another answer depending on the day. The rest of the order I stand by.
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- 3 (tots)
- 2 (curly)
- 6 (
zigzagcrinkle cut) - 4 (waffle)
- 7 (
wedgesJo-Jo’s) - 5 (sweet potato)
- 8 (onion rings) - tied with sweet potatoes; they’re both lost and in the wrong part of town
- 1 (shoestring) - potato chip sticks with more steps
Missing: coniques.
Ugh. People who call wedges “Jo-Jo’s” creep me out. It’s just so weird. Agreed about Crinkle fries though.
Is it the name or the people that creeps you out?
Yes
Whatever anyone’s opinion on this, ONION RINGS DO NOT BELONG HERE, they are NOT POTATOS
They are orthogonal to the potato axis.
Sweet potatoes aren’t potatoes either.
I’ve tried onion rings at at least 5 different resteraunts. All of them just tasted like heart failure. Don’t know how they are popular.
You must not have had them with barbeque sauce
OK. I’ll try ONE more time…
doctors hate this one trick…?
they’re fried
Yes this screams of shitpost.
Okay, two of them aren’t even the same vegetable.
They’re all tied for number 1, except sweet potato, which skips all the empty spots below and goes straight to number 8. Sweet potato fries suck.
I wonder if they could be made better by doing that parboil-freeze-deepfry trick that makes mcdonalds fries so good
My only strong opinion on the whole chart is that crinkle cut fries are the worst thing shown and thus take last place no matter what
Crinkle are dogshit tier but I’ll take them over sweet potato anything.
- Wedges
- Curly
- Zigzag
- Shoestring
- Waffle
- Tots
- Sweet Potato (not a potato but closer than an onion)
- Onion Rings (not a potato, would be 3 otherwise)
Zigzag?? Bitch you mean crinkle cut?!?!
It’s not worth respecting something that clearly belongs on the bottom of the list.
Sweet potato is at the bottom. If you disagree with me, you’re an idiot.
Ok, but I’m an idiot with happy taste buds.
You make me sick
Look at it this way, I’ll eat the stuff you don’t like so there’s more of the stuff you DO like!
You may be an idiot but you’re not stupid
🤣
And those are JoJos…
One is not like the others.
two are not like the others
Sweet Potato is at least a potato.
Potatoes are a member of the Nightshade family.
Sweet “Potatoes” are from the Morning Glory family.
Completely separate genus. Even though they can be mostly cooked and prepared similarly, they are not related.
They are cousins of the same order, Solanales
Is it? In that case, potatoes are apples by French standards. (Because it’s in the name.)
They are at least relatives.
They’re as closely related as a human and a lemur.
The Spanish just got confused between the names batata and papa and called them similar names. Yams are even further away from both sweet potatoes and potatoes.
Sweet potatoes are more potatoes than onions are potatoes.
What are yams though?
They’re fucking monocots, so way the hell removed (like onions). But none of these plants even share a family, order is the closest it gets.
Not really. 👍
Most of them pictured aren’t even French cut.
I know… Potato in French is “pomme de terre”, “apple of the earth”.
Today you learned.
They’re all fried tubers. I’ll let it slide. The real travesty is no fried yuca on the list.
I don’t believe onions are tubers…
I had to look it up – allium
Damn. My b.
Fried finger food.
I like that I might remember allium this time around
Posting such a controversial question and putting in onion rings on this list is bordering on rage bait
Edit: I can’t type
I’m really sorry I should have put a trigger warning
“Sides you dip in ketchup” covers everything in the image!
Ketchup on onion rings? Right to jail, right away.
Sides that are fried
I think onion rings and tots need to be removed from the list as neither are potato based. Substitute latkes and hash browns in their places.
Bro, what are your tots made out of?
Industrial waste or cardboard, would be my guess (it was a joke, tots are every bit as good as waffle fry’s).
What exactly are your tots made of, if not 'tater?
Oh shit latkes are like bringing a gun to a knife fight. None of the other options even come close.
Tots are literally cylindrical hash browns.
Where does it say that being potato based is part of the criteria?
5, [tied: 1, 2, 3, 4, 7], 6, 8
Sweet potato fries are fucking amazing when they’re done right. Usually they’re overly mushy which I think is why they get so much hate, but they’re top tier when the cook knows what they’re doing.
Sweet Potato fries turn out way better than regular potato in an air fryer if you’re buying frozen ones to make at home.
I bought a spice grinder and made a spice mix for my sweet potato fries. Its a mix of salt, old bay, montreal steak seasoning and dried chilli flakes and its awesome.
Hard agree. The only issue is frozen sweet potato fries are way more expensive than regular. I try to make my own at home but can’t get the same crispness in the air fryer.
Honestly for good fries at home with my steak, I’ll pay the extra few bucks.
This
With Belgian mayonaise!
And I’m Dutch so I’m not even biased.
Is that the same thing sold as “frite sauce”? That stuff is the food of the gods
I’m not an expert but I think frite sauce is basically mayonnaise with cheaper ingredients. To call something mayonnaise (at least in the Netherlands) it must contain 70% oil and 5% egg (yolk).
Yes. Vlaamse frieten zijn superieur.
Why Vlaamse? Good fries also in Brussels and Wallonia
Because it is the Dutch term for Belgian fries.
Yes but they refuse to learn Dutch and nobody should be force to order in French
🫡
Zigzag
Uh, it’s crinkle cut and someone will die on my hill.
Our hill.
And my axe
And my bow 🏹
… are the wedges the only non fried food in this picture?
How about boiling them tatoes?
Or simply pan fry them with some butter?
Anyways; 1. Wedges, 2. Waffles, 3. Shoestring with surprise sweet potatoes > The rest.
Wedges are fried often times. At our nation-wide supermarket for example, at the ready-made counter, wedges are definitely fried. Same with the mom and pop chicken shop down the street.
I think the OP was originally about fried preparation of potatoes. Wedges at least in North America are usually fried, I think the only non-fried ones I’ve seen are in the UK.
Also if we’re talking about the best preparation of potatoes in general, it’s mashed and there’s no argument there.
If we’re talking about expanding to other potatoe-preparations, we might as well include a simple baked potatoe.
And, as a Bavarian, I cannot omit the glorious Knödel (in all it’s potato-based variations).
Preparation is important.
Air fryer makes sweet potato move up the list, regular oven makes tots go up. Traditional deep fried makes them go down and brings the potato items up.
