Ugh what the fuck.
How are these going to interface with my D-Pants? Are they even compatible?
Probably not, they want to sell you their version.
alright sir, step through the machine again
Beeeep
Alright sir… the underwear.
The technology they are proposing to develop to do this sounds pretty sick tho:
“”" weavable conductive polymer “wires”, energy harvesters powered by the body, ultra-low power printable computers on cloth, microphones that behave like threads, and “scrunchable” batteries that can function after many deformations. “”"
However they don’t seem to have any of that tech yet:
“In order to transfer this research into AST products, revolutionary new materials and manufacturing techniques are needed to develop complete and integrated systems containing mechanically deformable and durable: 1) power sources, 2) sensors, 3) computation and data storage, and 4) electrically conductive system component “wires” and interconnects.”
“Alright team. Let’s play back the recordings and see if we finally have this mob boss confessing to those hits”. Plays back recording.
“Then I walked up behind him and” … audio is constantly interrupted by a string of loud farts.
“I’m sorry Captain. Jones did Taco Bell for lunch that day and the microphone on those pants are so close to the brass section of the band so to speak.”
Which government? Don’t assume the US to be THE universal government. 😀
Now I’m curious, we have a lot of classified research that people don’t know about. Can I hide a surveillance camera a dogs fart?
Grandma: “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” SMARTePANTS: “Your kids should have gotten you a life alert necklace button thingy. I’m just here to observe. They wasted their 19.95 on the wrong thing.”
