Loot it for cool stuff, then just walk away and call nobody, because it’s not my problem. Calling someone would basically be volunteering for an interrogation. Fuck that noise.
Return it to Pepsi.
I would fly into the dangerzone.
dramatically intense 80s electric guitar solo
Sit in the cockpit and make plane, missile, and machine gun noises since I don’t even know how to turn one on let alone fly it.
Pretty sure this one comes without a seat, and the aftermarket prices are ridiculius!
Me? I would defect to Ukraine and really weird them out.
Two chicks at the same time
Thats it? If you had a fighter jet, you’d do two chicks at the same time?
Chicks love fighter jets
You can’t pickup chicks in a fighter jet
Maybe you can’t
T. Least sane lemmy user
Let’s ask that General who just stopped by to pickup the flag what he thinks.
Oh, you know what? You could bitch about anything couldn’t you? We’re going to get a fighter jet, and you’re worried about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up, man? And secondly, how are you gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?
Tom Cruise begs to differ
Not with that attitude
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And it’s really hard to have sex in a fighter jet. It’s not exactly a roomy interior.
For having sex, the best experience is a minivan.
Well then trade it in for a minivan, duh.
Well, not all chicks love fighter jets
Well, the type of chicks that would double up on a dude like me do
If you don’t like fighter jets then you ain’t a chick
It’s a Marine F-35B and likely crashed into a lake.
ba dum tss!
Is it wrecked or perfect?
If perfect: I’d totally try flying it. Probably crash, but it would be worth it to see how good all those flight sims where I’ve flown an F-35 stand up to reality.
Is it wrecked or perfect?
The pilot ejected…so the first one.
Scrapping it for parts. Though I’m not sure how to get in contact with black markets that would want the weapons. 🤔
The hard part isn’t getting in contact with them.
It’s doing so without also being tried and executed for treason
I discover the crashed F35 in my lone walk in the woods. As I start to take it apart for parts, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business. She’s Lockheed. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the feds come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don’t trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he’s the chief of FBI. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Lockheed to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She’s been waiting for me all these years. She’s never taken another lover. I don’t care, I don’t show up. I go to Berlin. That’s where I stashed the F35
Trade it in for a boatload of pepsi points.
I’d go to the beach because I am somehow in South Carolina.
Also, I guess call the USAF and report the location.
Maybe they’d give me a ride to the beach as a thank you…
Grab any modular electronics, charter a boat to the Bahamas, divert to Cuba after stashing them on a deserted island along the way. Use a thumb drive of pictures to bargain for the gps coordinates to China.
Unless I thought of something better along the way.
Couldnt china get the same hardware from Afghanistan?
China has probably gotten more from their various intel ops in the US supply chain. There isn’t a lot they could get in the field without risking serious repercussions.
No. This is the first F35 to crash.
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