I don’t tell her. Afghani style.
a racist rape joke, how hilarious
It’s not racist, it’s factual:
this gives big “there’s factual evidence that black people are less intelligent than white people” energy
also, still a rape joke so fuck you
Yikes, wtf. My comment was a non-sequiter pointing out a place where 6 million women don’t get the choice to turn their husband down for sex. Sure rape joke bad, but your silly big energy comparison is ridiculous.
“Are you awake?”
He asks at 14:00 on a Saturday when the two of them are sitting around or doing chores
I like to play a game where I try to ask in the worst way that will get a yes.
Current high score: “I want to kiss and hug you naked squishy-style”.
My record
“down for sexy time?”
“Hands down, butt up!”
Now I have to try this one.
“I’m kinda horny”
“Should we bone tonight?”
“When do you wanna have sex”
“Hold on let me brush my teeth”
These area a few of our regulars!
A little context behind my answer.
Among my friends, we have this weird but I guess clever safe word tradition. So you know how, when someone is dreaming, if they question the dream (e.g. saying “this is a dream” or “this must be a dream”), they wake up? We decided to use that as a “quitting word” for everything. If we’re making a YouTube video and we say “this is a dream”, for example, it’s the secret cue to cut the movie. If we’re playing some kind of role and we say the phrase, it means come back to base reality. So on and so forth. And while none of us are very sexually-minded, sex we decided would be no different. If we were to have sex, a phrase like “this must be a dream” would mean to stop the session.
So then it was asked one day, how do we do the opposite? How do we cue a session of sex, video-making, etc. to start? We say the opposite. We signal immersion with something like “where are we, is this real”. That is our unsafe phrase. Different nonverbal circumstances/signals would cue what exactly we refer to.
where are we, is this real
Sometimes I question that. I’d be fucked.
Literally
“My love, I would like to make the sex on you!”
Try to put them in the mood?
I do a little dance.
What does said dance look like? :)
“You want to bang?”
“Is it bang time?”
Any number of variations with “bang” included.
We say do you wanna cuddle or do you want a massage or do you wanna lay down and listen to music. Sex usually comes after. Not always, but if not then you still have a cuddle
I gave up asking, but when she’s down it’s a straight forward „wanna have sex?“
Why not approach indirectly like complimenting her legs, whispering “I want you” in her ear. These often work for me, and even if it doesn’t, it gets the mood between us so that we can foreplay and cuddle.
The wife has a penchant for taking off her underwear and throwing them as hard as she can at me. They are light, so I don’t mind.
Chastity belt… CLANG!
“what! A chastity belt? ughhhh that’s going to chafe my Willy!”
Doesn’t matter, had sex.
I see you are a man of tights
“Hungry? Would you like some sausage? I have cheese sausage for you” (Never works but it’s funny)
“Got two minutes” (works more often than you’d think but it’s normally expected to only be 2-5 minutes)
“What are you up to tonight? Do you want to come over to my side of the bed?” *wink (after having a king size bed I will NEVER go back)
To your cheese sausage I would reply “And for you, I have tuna patte.”
OOo, we having Hors d’Oeuvres over here!
