not much to report, however i i have completed my reading goal for the year (35 books) with several months to spare thanks to The Red Corner: The Rise and Fall of Communism in Northeastern Montana
Thanks for sharing that book! The premise is intriguing and I’m picking up a copy soon. I love Montana but had no idea about the prevalence of communism there.
not to give the game away but in that corner of the state it’s genuinely down to a handful of personalities that came and went, and it’s very interesting to see the circumstances that allowed them to have such an influence in the area.
I think I need to start reading books again.
I’m okay. I’m depressed, still but I’m doing my best to overcome it.
I started writing a book myself. Well, my fourth one. Another poetry memoir of my life because I seem to have so many stories to tell. It’s about the five stages of grief. In my case, that grief was from a long-term relationship that lasted almost 9 years.
It was inspired by a series of poems I wrote under the same name (it’s on Hello Poetry – it’s named like this: 'the five stages of grief: depression).
When I wrote the other 3 books, which revolved around my fall from meth addiction, it helped me heal in a way.
So that’s why I begun work on my fourth book, in hopes of healing again, and writing it so others can heal, too.
Last week I mentioned I was busy with some identity issues… Well… turns out I’m a girl. Or… at least part of me is. I have no idea anymore and I’m currently too burned out to explore this any further.
I suppose it’s not really a big surprise, considering my online activity here on Lemmy. But still, accepting a truth like this is still… Let’s just say I’m seeing a lot of my 40+ years alive through a new lens and a lot of things fall in place and with it some sad realizations of how I wish I knew these things then.
Oh and you guys are the first to know, so… yay? :)
Sorry if I’m unloading like this, it’s going to be the only coming out I will be doing for a long while. I just felt the urge to say/write it out loud once.Thanks for sharing 🙂. Sounds like your future’s going to be brighter than ever! (even if it will take a little time to adjust)
I love your optimism, thanks :)
edit
Just to make sure, I mean this sincerely. I appreciate the positive vibes :)
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Congratulations on the grant! I can understand the pressure you feel now, but don’t forget that getting the grant in the first place is itself quite an achievement. If nothing else, take a moment to be proud of yourself for that.
It also means that you at the very least have a rather good idea of what you want to do with that money, and what more could one ask for at the start of a new project?Thank you! It is a huge achievement to win this grant. Now all the pressure is on!
Pretty good, been spending some time playing games and chatting with this cute trans girl I met on reddit and we’ve started exchanging pics and stuff, which is still something I’m not really used to since I spent most of my childhood and all of my teen years depressed and socially isolated. So it’s been a really refreshing experience that’s boosted my self confidence a lot, especially when she called me cute.
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Oh, I never considered this before. I haven’t had any reason so far to block anyone, but would definitely like to know if the other party will be notified or not if it ever comes to it. I’d hate for bullies to find out if I blocked them or not, it would just encourage them to keep harassing me.
I would like to try an experiment, I’m going to block you (temporarily). Can you see if that symbol will pop up next to my name? I’ll unblock again in 24 hours or so.deleted by creator
Doesn’t that mean they have been banned? I usually use Jerboa to browse and people that have been banned have a 🚫 icon
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They can’t post anymore but the old posts still hang around unless deleted by mods I believe. You can confirm by visiting their profile, it usually says there if they have been banned or not
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I made it to see Postal Service. I tend to have a lot of anxiety and went alone. It’s the small things to keep going.
My week has been one of growth.
Over the past couple of months, my wife and I have been having lots of drama because she’s polyamorous, but I’m innately monogamous (at least thus far).
She has a boyfriend now and it’s been a struggle, but I’ve finally accepted/realized that there’s no actual threat of her leaving (which was the core source of my anxiety and jealousy).
So we’re doing awesome now! We still have sex, snuggle, and generally carry on as normal, just that she also has someone who is satisfying that need to experience new relationships.
So overall, my week is going great
It’s ok mostly. Having a new choir on a Monday is taking some getting used to as I’m more tired than I used to be on a Tuesday (and that’s without the insomnia). Saw my mum and the dog earlier which was nice and spent the weekend looking after my sister’s animals for her.
Having a one on one meeting with my director tomorrow about the future of part of my role as it’s all changing (again), she’s lovely but I’m still nervous. It feels like I can’t go a month without some change at work and for someone who doesn’t generally cope well with change/has a tough time mentally this time of year it’s definitely testing me. Doing some tough music in both choirs too which is great but it’s not as relaxing when you have to think about it.
Honestly not great. Depression has been getting the better of me, along with little sleep and what sleep I go have being plagued by nightmares. It’s affecting my work and physical health, so I hope taking tomorrow off for a long weekend will help.
I got the date!!! Officially confirmed!!! Bottom surgery October 18th!!! 🥳
Congrats :)
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I’m finally beginning to escape a 6 month long depressive episode. I’m beginning to feel happy again, and I can finally find joy in my hobbies. Not everything is going great right now and I’m still struggling to get by, but things are beginning to look up. Hopefully, I can harness this newfound energy to finally begin to deal with everything looming over me.
I’m also beginning to read some leftist books. I’ve picked up “Black Metal Rainbows” by Daniel Lukes, et. al, and I’ve grabbed a copy of “Debt: The First 5,000 Years” by David Graeber. I’m hoping to read some other titles when I get the chance. Hopefully, I can get back into reading again, it’s a great break from staring at a screen all day.
I’ve read half of Black Metal Rainbows so far, and I think it’s pretty good, even as someone who isn’t in very deep the black metal scene. The book is a collection of essays, art, stories, and interviews, and so far I’ve read about topics ranging from anti-fascism and removing fascist and nazi bands from metal, queer artists and their experiences in the scene, feminism, sex work, men’s mental health and DSBM, and an interview with Dødheimsgard (my beloved). I’d highly recommend it if you are interested in black metal or leftist communities in metal.
https://blackmetalrainbows.bandcamp.com/album/black-metal-rainbows
I’m stressed. Burnt out. I’m not sleeping well, feel exhausted all the time, probably am drinking too much and just constantly feel like a failure.
so far so good, woke up early for a change (my sleeping schedule was mega fucked), exercised, walked 5k steps, went to the library, did my sar quests and now i’m ready to take a nap 🖤