Hmmm so I am going to Thanksgiving next week and like it’s gonna be a full week with my family. I only recently started presenting fem and am not ready to come out to my family, but since I’ve gotten so used to seeing myself this way… I am seriously dreading going to Thanksgiving. My mom wants to shop for glasses with me. My dad wants to buy me a suit. They are going to call me their beautiful boy or their son and he and him and dude and bro and I can’t take it. This is like the first actual break I have which i actually NEED badly.

My work is incredibly stressful. I have like 10-12 hours of work to do every day, in 8 hours. I am so so so burnt out. Transition is very stressful, even when it’s joyful. People stare. People misgender, there are like a million little things that hurt me whenever I go out because cis people are just so unaware or clueless.

I don’t think I can handle a week when I need to relax with my family being misgendered, having my glasses and hair criticized, worried about my family seeing my legs or my armpits and then asking lots of probing questions. If I go on this trip i get back at midnight on fucking Sunday to start work again at 7am the next morning.

Sorry for the vent. I think I’m just gonna tell them I got covid. This is really stressful for me though because I do want to see my brother and I don’t want to leave them alone with my parents because I know he wants to see me too. But liek, even then, I don’t think I can handle it. I can’t handle not being myself. My patience for this shit is just so low now,.