fermenting? to make healthy, cheap, useful, durable and more importantly delicious foods?
Got me on that one, I’m lacking. Made plenty of my own hot sauces from scratch, never learned to ferment.
Does your gun have trouble shooting? Why not try troubleshooting.
Formal Logic. Please, can this be a full k-12 course like English and Math? Just learn to think, analyse, and correlate ideas in ways that are communicable. Learn what the logical fallacies are and how to avoid them. Train a functional bullshit detector. This world would be so much better off if the bulk of the population could understand what a confirmation bias was. As much as I hate to link to a Grammarly blog post, it gives good examples. Obviously all of it needs to be made age appropriate, but we never bother to actually teach people how to think, we just expect them to know and that has not been working out too well.
Effective planning. It’s very easy to say " I’m doing this today and that tomorrow" but how realistic is that? Know how to break something down into its component pieces and be able complete them along a schedule. It’s basically project management, but for everyday stuff. It helps immensely to be able to tackle big projects and recognize that things are progressing even though the project still isn’t done. Hugely helpful for stress management.
ADHD sufferers feeling the pain right about now.
I used to use the same software I use as a developer for planning things. It’s was massively helpful.
Jira? Admit it, you’re a scrum master.
Hugely helpful for stress management.
As someone whose workplace refuses to schedule anything properly, and refuses to respect to any attempts to schedule anything or anyone, I feel this so much.
Good advice. And one of the keys is to focus on accomplishing the parts of the project you took care of today, not obsessing about working ahead or what’s on your plate tomorrow. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
Do you have a good resource to read up on that?
So project management on a personal scale is really varied based on what level of detail you need. I’ve worked with people who have ADHD traits and they worked best with a very micromanaged day, like there is a reminder every 15 minutes to keep them on track (that’s a generalization, but not far off).
But if you’re just looking for some broader structure to help organize projects you have to do, you can look at AI assisted planners to remove some of the basic breakdown work. You can ask ChatGPT to create a rough outline for some major projects, give it a time frame, and mention any other circumstances (work, childcare, only work 1 hour at a time, etc.), it will give you a decent outline to start with. You can then break it down further if you need to and refine the time line to best fit your own needs
There are lots of ‘personal project management’ books that can help to break it down, also good youtube videos on the subject. There are 3 primary things to remember though:
- create manageable goals, this might take some trial and error to figure out timing.
- stick to your plan. Putting off a task because you don’t feel like it defeats the purpose of making a plan.
- if you stuck to the plan the best you could and it didn’t work out, don’t beat yourself up. Use it as a learning experience for next time you need to plan stuff out. Figure out why it didn’t work and fix it.
Quick note: reading/other resources won’t hand you the answers, they will only help to provide and explain the tools you would need to be successful. Good luck!
I think the content says it all really.
Break projects into small tasks and track your progress.
I mean there’s a billion self help books explaining how someone else did it, but none of those will work for you.
First off, love this question!
Active listening and validating someone’s emotions. Relationship skills in general honestly! Like how to adress the core attachment need in a disagreement instead of just the surface issue.
For those in the US: Learn how to file your own taxes. It’s really simple for the large majority of people, and usually just consists of copying numbers into boxes off a sheet your employer made for you. After you’ve done it once, subsequent times you’ll probably have it done yourself in less than half an hour.
You can do it for free on a ton of sites unless you make significant income, freetaxusa is typically the most highly recommended one.
A better tip is to just maintain and monitor your finances on a regular basis. At least once a month sit down and quickly review all your income and expenses. Then at least two or three times a year do full detailed review just so you know where your money came from and went and when it all happened.
I wish I knew this earlier in life.
Think about it, what did you spend your money on two weeks ago? A month? How much did you make in the past month? What did you spend your money on?
Sure many people can give an estimate off the top of their head but it makes a big difference if you can see it all written out and documented in front of you.
FreeTaxUSA is the best. TurboTax can eat my ass.
Indeed.
Intuit and H&R Block are the reason we have this depraved, inhumane, anti-consumer tax system. They’ve created the laws that make it necessary to use tax prep software. They should not be rewarded for this by getting business for that very tax prep software. Everyone should say no to TurboTax.
There are always a bunch of perfectly good competitors to them listed. Use those competitors. For most people it’s totally free.
Isn’t the IRS rolling out an actual free filing program this year?
Yes, I’m not sure if it’ll be ready by this year’s tax season or not, but it was happening. Last I heard they were doing some limited runs on it.
Changing brake pads. You do it for $50, they do it for $500
Until they make it so hard to do it yourself, and you have to pay them. …even more.
Eg. removing the fucking bumper to put in a new headlight.
You already need a scan tool for many models in order to retract the electric handbrake.
With the number of misaligned/undirected led lights I get blinded by, I’d be okay if you needed a phd to change them.
I feel like people are just driving around with their full beams lately not knowing that’s an issue. It feels like every 5th car is blinding me now. I’ve had to pull over at times because I have stars in my eyes.
My Filipina wife is new to driving. Had to drill her on when to use and not use high beams. Yet, we both forget sometimes.
And don’t start me on the assholes with “permanent” high beams and blinding LEDs.
Last time I visited LA it seemed like high beams were the default
Most of the cost is labor (and the garage’s cut).
Years ago, I learned to shave with just about any sharp, straight edge (yes, I even practiced with a razor sharp axe). It’s interesting how the ‘fine edge control’ transfers to other activities; using a kitchen knife, swinging an axe, cutting with a Xacto, etc.
In the apocalypse, I will be the clean-shaven villain, who is surrounded by all the hot mutant ladies who adore my pretty jowls!
Edit: I use cannabis daily. I found I can shave quickly with a straight razor (after years if practice), or I can shave high. But not both. FTR: cutting yourself a bit here and there simply isn’t as bad as it sounds.
Switching to double edge safety razors changed shaving for me.
My beard hairs are so thick even a 3 blade cartridge clogs and slips. I’ve had multiple barbers comment on how tough my beard hair is.
For a better shave: 1) switch from canned shave creams to a higher quality cream or a shave soap with brush. 2. Switch to a DE razor and buy a sample pack until you find a blade you really like.
Cartridges are faster still, but I always get rash or burn from them. A good DE blade I might nick myself but an after a little styptic and it’s not noticeable.
I’ve never tried a straight edge, it sounds cool but I’ve been told to expect to cut yourself when learning and I’m happy enough with my setup.
I’m so glad I learned to use shave creams and safety razor. The experience is miles better than foam and disposable razor.
You get a bit of aromatherapy and a good shave without clogging the razor constantly.
I find shaving much more mediative with brush and hard soap. It took a little while to learn the technique and the directions my hair grows in but it’s a much more enjoyable process than with a cartridge razor and canned soap. Plus I can change my blade every 4 shaves or so and it’s like 10p a shave so much cheaper than cartridges.
I enjoy it too
I bought myself a scuttle and some nice shave bowls, I’ve got a brush I like and an adjustable razor that I start with open and close for my final passes. It’s a nice way to start the morning for sure.
Don’t forget the shiny jumpsuits and garages full of sports cars. You never know when you might want to upgrade to being a Bond villain.
Already have the jumpsuit. Crotchless, silver, soft on the inside.
lock picking i guess? its not that hard and useful
Do you have a goto seller for lockpicking supplies? I would like to learn lock picking but I don’t trust the official stuff!
Just buy a southern ordinance kit, they are worth it and way better than budgets kits.
I’ve been lockpicking for a year or two, I don’t think ever actually used it in the field at all though.
I feel like I need someone to teach me in person. I’ve watched videos, read articles, I understand the science but can’t get the feel.
I bought a bunch of locks from goodwill and took them apart down to the mechanism, just kept practicing until I got it down.
It’s purely practice and persistence. No one can take that from you.
Have you tried a clear practice lock to pick? You can watch the pins as you get the feel for it. Once you can pick it easily, cover it with painter’s tape so you can’t see the pins, and try again.
I wish I’d learned a few useful knots earlier in life. Saves so much time when you know how and which one to use.
The ones I use the most are the square knot, taut line hitch and once a year the truckers hitch for tying down the Christmas tree to the top of the car.
https://scoutlife.org/outdoors/176401/how-to-tie-the-7-basic-scout-knots/
Square knot, Trucker’s hitch, and bowline are the ones I use the most.
For others, I use an app, animated knots, where you can have a favorites list.
Man I’m an Eagle Scout and I forgot how to tie the basic knots already. It takes repetition and practice, I mostly use the square knot so that’s the only one I probably remember.
For me, it’s sheet bend, bowline, and round turn and two half hitches. I also tuck a lot of eye splices, but that’s more just for fun; a bowline will work fine most of the time instead.
Tall ships?
If you can’t tie a knot, tie a lot.
Video guides are nice, but I prefer Grog’s Knots. He even has an app for offline knot learning, say, when you’re deep in the woods and it’s raining hard and your tent’s rain cover blows off into the lake and you thankfully brought a tarp and rope but don’t know how to make one of those adjustable knots that you can just slip-tighten. You know, theoretically speaking.
On a side note and completely unrelated, bring one of those big grout sponges when you go camping. In addition to mopping up all the water in your tent, it makes a nice pillow if your inflatable pillow decides to run away in the night in a storm and go swimming in the lake.
TL;DR: I hate camping.
I love that website. The surgical knots were nice to have in place to reference.
TL;DR: I hate camping.
I was a boy scout in serious camping territory. Wow, do I hate camping, now. And, as a poor kid, winter camping can fuck right off.
And if anyone is having trouble with that last one, here’s a useful video guide.
Some basic first aid
Even a quick YouTube session on some common cases should help. If you want, getting certified is pretty easy and it looks good on resumes (or at work, you could be the designated person in emergencies)
If someone close to you has an emergency, it’s nice to have an idea of what to do while you wait.
On the flip side, I had someone open up about regret from not learning; it was heartbreaking hearing it. Their family member may have died anyways, but they felt like a few extra minutes could have helped the odds, and regretted not knowing what to do
Learn about the concept of relational and transactional relationships. Learn to identify which ones are which in your life, and if they are one way or two way. You do not need anything other than two way relational relationships in life. Discard the others, they are deadweights.
For the creators, people have become leeches accustomed to only taking, and never giving back. It is perfectly okay to shut yourself off rather than bleeding your soul to death. For the leeches, it is a one way business. Might as well treat yourself like royalty. You have a limited amount of gratitude and need to refuel yourself.
Men need to hurry the fuck up and learn stoicism. Society does not care about a man’s emotional sanctity, which is the counterpart to a woman’s physical sanctity. Men are also far weaker emotionally and psychologically than women.
Be mighty AND be respectful towards others. If you separate these and be just mighty, you end up being an asshole that will fall just as hard. If you be too nice and respectful, people will make you a doormat.
Edit: I should probably add this, even if obvious from the last one.
Respect consent AND never worship anyone. This advice is directed largely towards isolated men who fall for redpillers, and/or end up taking extreme lessons regarding women. Be courteous and ask women. But also do not end up being a pathetic simp. On a lesser level, this advice goes for women too.
I agree in principle but this is a slippery slope and they’re not “easy” skills to learn as OP have asked.
Important matters more than difficulty. I wanted to get the message out.
I disagree with your take on men being emotionally weaker. It’s merely an excuse to avoid learning emotional intelligence and it’s just a symptom of how they are socialised. Men don’t learn how to properly channel and express their emotions, instead being told to bottle them up or repress themselves from early childhood (stuff like being told “You’re a boy, stop crying” or “Man up and get over it”). It leads to a less empathetic world and makes people insensitive and inconsiderate.
This is not an excuse, but studied on a brain level by neurologists and psychologists. I would recommend you check Dr Daniel Amen, one of the world’s best psychiatrists who has scanned over 250K brains. He explains these things well, and people like Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have consulted him.
His 2 hour podcast on Diary Of A CEO on YouTube is good. (Skip to 1:32:48 upto 1:35:24, 3 minutes, if you want to get to the part I am focusing on, differences between male and female brains. I recommend watching full though.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycTZ_t-aiuU The video has gathered 3M views in a month.
We can make the society better only if we stick to facts, and rebuild a foundation on that basis. We have an individualistic and apathetic capitalist society today. We are led to it, but we need to reverse the course, making the society collectivist, empathetic and knit together.
People in general can learn something from stoicism. From a philosophical standpoint it can be a good place to provide tools for improving yourself from within. However, I also find it hard to accept that men are inherently emotionally weaker than women for many of the reasons mentioned by LoreleiSankTheShip.
Modern societies extert incredible pressure on people to conform to unreasonable expectations which greatly repress individuality. These pressures start early and are persistent. Emotionally intelligent men exist and have always existed. I could easily believe many of these men couldn’t even begin to define or explain stoicism. Their emotional intelligence could have been learned from family, friends, partners or community.
A broad and over generalized expectation of modern men are that they be strong and courageous. That they act as independent individuals to care for their family or community. Traits which could be mistaken for a surface level of stoicism.
What we are seeing today in is very much a lack of emotional intelligence. There is a very noticeable deficiency in emotional intelligence in men when compared to women. Unable to reflect inwards about their motivations and outward actions. Unable to empathetically understand how their actions affect those around them. Unable to to identity, verbalize or express the emotions which are happening within them. As a result, men don’t have the proper understanding of themselves to begin the process of improving themselves. Trans men offer a unique insight into this as they have had the opportunity to experience two worlds of gender expectations.
But humans are social animals. Many mammals exhibit social needs. We can look to our closest friends such as cats and dogs and see how true that is. We’ve reached a point where our social communities are fragmented and broken. The ideal of a strong man is heavily expected to replace that missing sense of community.
It’s become and issue so deep and entangled that it’s hard to know where to even begin. I wish there was a simple -ism to unravel this mess but a person is complex. Eight billion people with eight billion unique perspectives is a level of complexity we just don’t know how to even comprehend or manage.
We can start by teaching emotional understanding from within, by being good examples, by creating and maintaining communities or by calling out bad behavior. Unfortunately, these actions can be attacked. It’s an uphill battle and the hill is looking very steep.
Amazingly said!
I do not trust Lorelei’s personal view. This is a fact coming from a famous psychiatrist, I mentioned in a reply to him. Consider watching 3 minutes of that.
A whole lot of 90s and post 90s people seem to have some kind of neuro disorders, like ADHD, neurodivergence, autism and so on. It also exists in older people, but we are the current and future workforce, and the older baby boomers have lived out their lives. The whole obsession with empathy seems to be highly simplified, and I think nobody explains properly why “mental health” and “get therapy” is such a big issue. I think I got the answer, thanks to Dr Daniel Amen’s podcast video.
Do yourself a favour, watch it, even better if you watch the whole thing. He has scanned over 250K brains and is a professional.
In order to engage you in meaningful discussion, I need to understand your thoughts and perspectives more from your own words.
Why do you not trust the personal view of another lemmy user? We are on a social platform made for discussing a variety of topics and we will always encounter different views. Hopefully this leads to exploring and expanding our own views on the topics we bring up.
I would also like to stay on the topic of men and emotional intelligence which was brought up by LoreleiSankTheShip. I currently do not see how neurodivergence and generational workforces fit into this discussion unless you can clearly state the connections for me.
I do agree with you that the importance of mental health and it’s approaches are not very well explained. However, empathy carries a lot of weight in the discussion of mental health and should not be undermined or under valued.
Lastly, it’s easy to link a video of an expert, but experts are human and can fall for personal biases too. If you can explain to me your interpretation of what this expert is saying, we can begin to have a thorough discussion. Otherwise, I fear we may be deadlocked and nothing more will come of this.
I did watch your recommended clip and am still struggling to understand your view point.
I do not trust the words of an internet user because the other guy has seen and studied (250K) more brains than anyone else in the world, and has studied brains of people like Muhammad Ali and Justin Bieber. The doctor is not just a certified professional, he is at the top of psychiatry field, the crème de la crème. I will never prioritise anyone’s observations over that kind of a leading expert.
If you want to validate yourself forcibly and feel deadlocked, despite knowing someone’s certified credentials and real world treatment results, then that is on you. I can only lead the horse to the water, horse can choose to drink or not.
If you went ahead through a 2 hour long podcast that gained 3M views in a month, maybe you would gain a lot out of it, considering we do not live in particularly the most encouraging times as far as attention span goes towards something as boring as 2 people talking on a gray table.
I should add that I just discovered I have ADHD, and am able to hyperfocus on topics I like to study and also have EFD, so I found incredible details in all the stuff the doctor explained.
Unfortunately I feel this conversation has become deadlocked for a number of reasons.
You have clearly dismissed a fellow person with a valid observation and left no room for open discussion. When given the opportunity to express why you do not agree, you continue to be dismissive.
You have ignored the topics that has been brought up and are being discussed. In this case emotional intelligence, particularly among men.
You have not made an attempt to clearly connect your various points into a cohesive argument.
You have not expressed what you have studied in your own words. To express ideas in your own words would show the rest of us how you perceive and understand a topic. This would be a great base for having a meaningful conversation.
Lastly, you have done nothing but blindly praise an individual on a podcast. If the words in your initial post are true, we should never worship anyone.
Taking a step back away from everyone and everything to think of why we react to other peoples words may help us to understand ourselves better. And that’s a good thing.
At this point I am done. As a fellow individual with ADHD (and Autism), I wish you the best on your mental health journey and I hope you approach it with an open heart and open mind. Thank you for giving me a new perspective for me to think about and hopefully understand in the future.
sewing with a needle and thread. nothing complicated, the bare minimum is useful in a lot of ways.
i keep a small kit in my car because my pants waistlines keep shrinking mysteriously and i’m starting to randomly lose buttons and getting blowouts in the crotch. [likely due to far-reaching, nefarious, conspiracies and not b/c of the other kit in my car that’s full of snacks].
what used to be my crippling, irrational fear of inadvertently exposing myself at like a job interview or in an uber with a cute driver, is now an easy fix i can do in a minute AND it’s certain to make an impression.
old winter jackets with a lot of zippered pockets are especially great practice. try unstitching and removing a few of the pockets, then add them to other jackets or whatever you can think of.
Someone blow my mind with it and since then my life wasn’t colplete without it… just listen me out … You are in a rush maybe your train is leaving or something like that … So you run right … Yeah and if u encounter a pair of stairs climbing up you still rush by skipping steps right … And if the stairs are going down ? Yeah you might jump the last steps but you ain’t gonna gain much especially if the stairs are long or wiredly segmented … And if I told you it’s possible to descend 2 steps with a single step ? You climb stairs in a pair why not descend them in a pair too …
It isn’t that hard to learn you might slip some time while learning but I have never fell … It’s all a game of weight transfer … Just move your weight a little back and move the leg a bit forward… Btw I found it easier with a heavy backpack too…
I was in Milan rushing for the underground train and a man in a blue suit passed me whit ease on the stairs … Now I’m ready … I’m waiting for you I’m waiting for revenge !!!
I also skip steps going down. Essential life skill.
Thanks man appreciate some support I was starting to think I’m the only one to acknowledge the usefulness of this skill
Ok? How much time does this realistically save, 3-5 seconds? Isn’t worth the possible gruesome injury.
Yeah so why did u run ?
Touch typing, if you spend more than an hour a day in front of a computer screen.
This is such a useful and critical skill for anything with a keyboard. Being able to type without looking is great.
As a teacher, it pains me to see so many middle school students chicken typing. I don’t know if they teach typing in elementary like I had.
Ha, I’ve never heard hunt and peck called “chicken typing” before, I kinda like it!
I learned to type in junior high on a Wang (with the black and spinach-green screen), and our typing teacher would tape a piece of paper to the top of the keyboard. Our fingers went under the paper so that we couldn’t see what keys we were touching. It made you learn quickly to find your home row keys, and after that learning to type was pretty fun and painless.
Do kids not get a typing class anymore?
ETA: before my typing class I ‘taught’ myself on a Selectric at my mom’s office - man did I have to unlearn some bad habits!
I should probably know if they have a class, but based on the average skill-level in 6-8th grade, it’s not effective.
And yes!! The bad habits part will be a pain in the butt for stubborn teens.
