For example:
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When you open a fresh jar of peanut butter do you only work through one side until it is completely empty then start on the other side?
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Or when you get those shallow tubs of hummus does it have to make it back home undisturbed? Then one of the baggers at the grocery store shoves it sideways into the bag completely ruining the symmetry.
How good pickles are is inversely proportional to how whole they are.
- Whole pickles: blegh
- Pickle wedges: no thanks
- Pickle strips: on a sandwich, sure
- Pickle chips: yum, on a sandwich or alone
- Diced pickles: oh yeah, please
- Pickle relish: hell yeah!
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Are you counting pickles as fruit here? Cucumbers often get thrown in either or. (Seeds inside fruit discussion)
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I have this but in reverse (and less extreme). I can eat a good pickle relish, but it doesn’t do much for me. Then, the delish goes up as we approach the whole pickle. The whole pickle is sour and crunchy. Perfection!
Haha, we must be arch nemeses.
Now all that’s left is to try a pickle smoothie to confirm your theory.
We’ve got to go all the way, time to vaporize pickles and inhale them
What you vaping bru?
Pickle juice, homie.
Dehydrater - mortar and pestle - rip a big line of pickle
“Mooooommmm, Dad’s nose is bleeding again!” “What did he do this time?” “Remember when he snorted a line of 21 Seasonings spices on a dare? Well…”
I know how to do this.
take relish (sweet or dill) and blend smooth. add pickle juice until runny. blend again. put about a 1/4 cup into an empty Soda Stream and pump it up like triple the normal amount. quickly cap and shake the hell out of it. uncap and suck the vapor out with a straw.
-I am a stranger from the internet and would never do this myself
You haven’t had pickles until you’ve freebased them
Pickle beer is a thing.
Thats gotta be amazing
It’s really good for one or two then it gets to be like drinking out of a pickle jar.
I wonder what pickel vodka tastes
Pickle backs are a thing. It’s just chasing a shot with a shot of pickle juice. First saw it with Jameson, but I think people do it with a lot of things these days
Is relish basiclaly like the pickel equivalent to salsa?
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I always eat fries in pairs, making sure they match in size, and I never take the first slice of bread from a loaf. Also, when I open a fresh jar of peanut butter, I smooth out the top after every use to keep it looking neat. As for hummus, I get annoyed if it gets messed up before I even open it! And don’t get me started on mixing foods, if my sauce touches something it shouldn’t, I feel like a sonic chicken trying to escape a messy plate!
I like my food to stay neat, so I scoop peanut butter evenly to keep the surface smooth. Hummus must stay untouched until I open it, and I get annoyed if someone tilts the tub and ruins the perfect top. When ever I want to try some spicy I try this source.
Sort by color, then eat in order of worse to best. Only really applies to things like M&Ms and Skittles. It’s basically edging for the blue ones.
Same, but for the red ones for me.
Some foods should not be touching other foods but I can’t use one of those cafeteria trays because the texture makes me gag.
My solution to it is using glass or ceramic plates and bowls for each item. There are exceptions of course.
Silverware is another thing altogether.
I only like yellow onions in cooked things, I’ll tolerate cooked white ones but I won’t buy them myself. No raw onions ever. Red onions are only acceptable when pickled, but they can fuck right off otherwise.
I can’t eat a sandwich if I don’t have chips with it.
Put chips ON the sandwich?
I still need chips to do that. But even with chips on the sandwich, i’d need them on the side also. Otherwise, I’m still just eating a sandwich and for some reason it makes me uncomfortable and likely to stop eating after just a few bites.
Interesting
I must eat from a small plate to make my little food seem big. NO BIG PLATES ALLOWED!
I will use a little fork whenever possible for a variety of reasons with differing grades of logic behind them. I don’t say anything, but I’m always a bit annoyed when I have to use a regular sized or big fork.
Most people don’t keep relish forks on hand.
I mean, I’ll take a salad fork without much complaint.
My wife did that for a while. She stopped when she realized she was just piling the food higher instead
I briefly microwave my ice cream before eating.
I don’t want it to be soupy. I’m going for soft. And I am too impatient to let it sit on the counter a bit to reach that sweet spot of consistency.
I some times add heavy or whippimg cream to it
I used to do that! Never encountered someone else who did.
I do this too. I use defrost. Want a great treat? Get some vanilla and frozen OJ. They are awesome together.
Can I get a further explanation of what you are making? Sounds like a cremesicle ordeal.
Pretty much. Just take some vanilla ice cream and mix in some frozen OJ. Swirls or even chunks.
My weird rule is I don’t buy food…. Kidding not kidding
You say you’re a dancing bear, but that sounds like something 3 raccoons in a trenchcoat would say.
Sandwiches are eaten like a typewriter. It drives my partner bonkers, she says I’m nuts…jokes on her, she’s still hanging around 😂
Sandwiches are eaten like a typewriter.
I’m so confused. You pivot your elbows and smash the sandwich into your face like the letters hitting the page? You take lots of fast, noisy bites like the sound of typing? You nibble the top piece of bread from left to right, then the filling from left to right, then the bottom, going ‘ding!’ in between?
Exactly!
I mean…yeah? I also take my hand and swipe across my face, flinging the sandwich across the table and into the lap of whoever is sitting to my left but that is a “their problem” and not a “me problem”. To move the carriage to the next line.
It’s not a rule but sometimes I eat sandwiches around the perimeter first, to eat the crust first and then I eat the center.
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Corn on the cob must be eaten from left to right. You must eat all the way around the cob so that section is clean before moving on to the next section. I suppose I’d accept right to left in the same fashion; it’s the people who take totally random bites with no rhyme or reason or uniformity that make me crazy.
Ooh, I’m more typewriter with mine. Left to right in horizontal lines.
Question, do you rotate up or down? I always hate the first row because there isn’t a kernel to bite through cleanly with my eye teeth so I always rotate up.
Up or down, doesn’t matter (although I may pick one unconsciously, I’ll have to pay more attention next time), as long as you get it all before moving to the next section.
I thought this was universal corn law
This is the way.
I like taking a bite anywhere on the cob, turn it randomly, bite somewhere else leaving little corn “islands” along the way. Bite, turn, bite.
Savage
Just as long as you butter your bread first then roll the cob into the bread. Mmm, best spread.
What about row by row? Like a typewriter.
My last bite should be of my favorite part of the meal. Finish my least favorite part first.
The greatest compliment I can pay a meal is that I couldn’t choose which part to make my last bite.
I used to do this too, but then realized it was a big factor in my over eating. If there’s too much food on the plate then I don’t get to enjoy all of my favorite element unless I stuff myself.
I used to do this but I have noticed one slight downside to this. My food goes cold by my last bite so the last bite does not have the optimal flavor.
My new thing is I try to eat my favorite part when I feel like the food is starting to go cold so I can still hit that peak.
I suppose that is one of the few upsides of being a fast eater.
I do this too. It took a while for my wife to fully understand that if she wanted to try something on my plate, she better not wait til the last few bites
Yes!
I also save the last bit of candy or other snacks, sometimes for days, until I really want it (most recently, I left the last 2 pieces in a box of Buncha Crunch for over a week. Yeah, it’s weird. I know).
My partner used to finish things I’d leave, which upset me. Then he’d finish it but replace it with an unopened packet, which I appreciated but it still bugged me.
He doesn’t understand it at all, but he’s learned that saving the last bit for “the right time” is important to me. Seeing him leave my little crazy treats around for days at a time makes me feel so loved.
I don’t hate crust but I prefer the texture of a sandwich without the crust, so I eat most of the crust before eating the rest of the sandwich… I usually only do this when eating alone lol
Haha, I always save the best for last. Same thing. Whatever I’m eating, I get the mediocre stuff out of the way first.
I eat burgers and sandwiches in a circular pattern for this exact reason. So many people eat it so that the last bite is mostly bread soggy with sauces. I make sure that the last bite is from the dead center, so it’s still warm and has the perfect ratio of ingredients.
Same, and with a burger as rare as I like it the last bite is always a perfect little lump of pink rawness.
I pity your lack of freshly baked bread (crust). Crunchy, even better with seeds…
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Personally, if bread crust doesn’t nearly break a tooth, it’s only OK.