Please don’t ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

  • @[email protected]English
    20•2 years ago

    This is so fucking funny. It keeps reappearing in my all feed every day and reminding me.

  • ManuEnglish
    1•2 years ago

    I‘ll just leave a comment to prove that I witnessed a Lemmy legend in the making.

  • @[email protected]English
    0•2 years ago

    A small bottle of olive oil. It’s very high calorie so it will keep you somewhat energized in small quantities. Consumed in small amounts you may be able to go three days without shitting.

      • KraidenEnglish
        0•2 years ago

        Olive oil is actually delicious. Can’t speak to using it for non-poopy reasons, but throw some in a bowl, add a splash of balsamic vinegar, sprinkle in some chunky rock salt, and dip the bougiest bread you can find in that shit! Delicious!

        • @[email protected]English
          1•2 years ago

          Well yes I agree, olive oil + salt is a godly combination, I just can’t imagine gulping it down like it’s a Fanta

    • @[email protected]English
      1•2 years ago

      I think the consumption of only oily fat will cause a bit of a shitsplosion and probably sooner than 3 days in.

  • @[email protected]English
    7•2 years ago

    NASA has a paper on how to not poop for days. It’s on the Internet. Before space toilets there was only a space bag with finger scissor/scoop holes. It didn’t work, poop got everywhere. The paper goes into detail about fecal matter being everywhere after early multi-day missions.

    So they figured it out. Their system works – I’ve also had my own reasons.

    • @[email protected]English
      1•2 years ago

      super nerd, please tell me your reasons involve zero g poop.

      also hilarious that the world greatest scientists and engineers settled on “just hold it” before they figured out the poop hoover.

  • @[email protected]English
    4•2 years ago

    I was here witnessing lemmy history being made and I will probably die of curiosity if we do not get an update. I do not have any tips. I just hope that you come back safe and sound.