For me, it was learning English. Although I do make a few mistakes here and there, I’m mostly perfect on it.
The amount of resources you have access to dramatically increases when you know a universal language. I say dramatically because it made me realize how much my native language lacks when it comes to certain topics. The most obvious one to me was tech and computers. Everybody knows how to use Windows but there are very few resources about stuff beyond Windows. It’s actually sad. [insert sad face here]
Marrying my wife. She is so smart and strong. We make a great team and we have been able to resolve the various conflicts of 15 years. I couldn’t have chosen a better partner.
Asked my boss to relocate me to another country 5 years ago. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I’m glad I even asked in the first place, because no one else had done it at the time.
Making new year resolutions and actually following through with them until i have succeeded. Each new year, if i completed my previous year goal, i will spend some time thinking about what i could do to best improve my life. i also very carefully word the resolution, so i am not able to ‘cheat’ in any way.
I started off by doing something i saw as a joke. the resolution was to watch every episode and movie of star trek, star wars and dr who. After accomplishing this goal (after 3 years) i realized that making the goal specific is more important. a vague goal that says “do better” in some way is bad. it is better, for me, to aim for a reasonable and achievable goal.
For example, “losing weight” is a bad. if i never stopped losing weight, it would be worse than if i never stopped gaining weight. if i make the goal “get to, then stay within 180-200 pounds”, it is a good goal. (for my height, this is a healthy range).
i started doing this in 2006. since starting i have quit drinking alcohol, quit illegal drugs and reconnected with family members i lost contact with, during the time i was doing the other two.
the most recent goal i made, in 2020, is actually the opposite of my first goal: quit watching tv and movies, quit playing videogames and educate myself as much as possible, until i get a college degree (this is difficult. i have developmental disorders) or buy a house. since they are harder goals than before, i gave myself a deadline of before 2030 begins.
It could help with long term to define sub goals.
For example, about what amount of savings you want to have by which date, or set a date when you want to have a clear concise description of what kind of house and location you are looking for.
At another date you want to be familiar with all the things that involve buying a house, the documents and what not.
By defining sub goals you keep things real and are able to measure your position towards your goal.
It’s a valid strategy for dealing with complex and long term stuff.
Buying dirt, it’s a struggle everyday but as much as I say I’m giving up and selling… I’m never going to
Stooped caring what other thought, started doing what I liked, took risks.
Moving to California. Happened on a whim. Change my life completely because I didn’t fit in my conservative state and would never have achieved actual happiness. Also, continuing therapy.
At the risk of repeating what others have posted, getting together with my wife. She’s smart, financially responsible, and we influence each other in positive ways. We’ve been so much more capable as a team than either of us was separately.
Moving to Ireland. Better than the UK in almost every way.
Deciding to transition ten years ago
What element were you before you transitioned to fire?
EDIT: I should probably point this out, this is a joke; please don’t speculate or ask about a trans person’s pretransition identity.
I think people on lemmy should start using the “/s” more, even if it’s a reddit legacy
A lot of the federation has been people groomed by reddit dropping all the social progress that site has made over the years.
Moving. I was in my mid 20s and I lived in a city with all my friends.
Really struggled with mental health. Felt like all my friends hated me. Turns out they were just mediocre friends.
Packed up and moved, solo.doing way better than I ever woulda done in that situation, I think.
Quit smoking.
Apart from that, it’s been a clusterfuck.
Quitting smoking
- In real life: 🙂😎
- In a Source game: 😲😠
Quit work at 35, am now 58.
Regrets ? Not brave enough to quit earlier.
How do you support yourself and how did you make that happen?
Seconded I’m ready to take notes at 33
If you are actually interested there was movement, not sure if still going, a few years ago called financial independence. It was r/financialindependence. One of their influencers was Mr Money Moustache. You can look that up if you want
Yeah :) I actually am going to reach FI myself next year at 33 y/o. Was hoping to hear this person’s story since its a concept I’m very interested in.
Probably having kids. Got pregnant at 23, went back to school, slowly, got a much better job when I finished. Do not think I would have done without having the kids, and they have brought so much joy into my life.
But I always knew I wanted kids so not sure that counts.
Wearing a very slightly alternative outfit to the mall in the 1980s may actually have saved my life. I was so alienated at school, for a lot of reasons, and falling in with these slightly older punks who looked after me at shows and just generally got me into that scene really made me feel I had a place - I wouldn’t say it was wholesome by any stretch but without that group I am pretty sure I would have just died, probably from anorexia as a teen. Good and bad came from it but I am very, very happy for that day.
Quiting an exhausting job. That was a big relieve for me and for my partner even more so
It wasn’t my decision, but getting fired from an exhausting job was amazing for me. I wasn’t going to pull the trigger myself, but walking out of my boss’s office I couldn’t keep a huge grin off my face. I was in no rush to find a new job so the months of uneployment that followed were some of the happiest of my life. And I have a better job now that pays less but is so much less stressful.
Marrying my wife.
I ended up being a much better person because of it.
