If not, then what about rarely instead of never?
All I can say is don’t take metformin if you’re worried about farting. Otoh I’ve been reading that it’s something of a wonder drug that extends your life expectancy and quality of life, though perhaps at others’ expense where the latter is concerned…
Otherwise, I do know of a Japanese folk remedy that involves cooking any bean dish with some kombu–a type of hard dried seaweed not to be confused with the rather faddy kombucha, which I think is made from mushrooms or some kind of yeast? You don’t even have to eat the kombu but toss it aside like a bayleaf, though it is edible. Then again, there is always beano.
It’s not possible to never fart but you can do things to reduce gas in your intestines. Here is an article about it. Sounds pretty miserable to me.
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-farting#elimination-diet
I’d rather fart and be happy than smell nice in misery.
Farts don’t have to smell bad. This is something you can change with diet. In particular, avoiding animal products will help. But if you go completely vegan, then your sweat will smell weird, so it’s a trade-off.
If you really wanted the best of both worlds, you could get those underwear inserts that hide the smell.
There’s this mineral you can eat called bismuth subgallate that works as an internal deodorant. It’s sold under the brand name devrom. Haven’t tried it, but heard good things.
Things I learn on Lemmy, for real. “It’s like Febreeze but for your insides.”
Have they used “It’s a breathmint for your butthole” yet?
That would be genius marketing right there. I already ordered some online. Can’t wait to smell my own farts.
The only reason I haven’t bought some is because I’m poor. Hey devrom guys I just got you a sale. Send me some.
The strange items humanity comes up with for very specific problems never cease to amaze me
They even have a blanket for similar purposes (fart concealment) and it’s called “the marriage blanket.” Cause farts ruin your marriage, allegedly. Haven’t ruined mine, but what do I know.
Anything animal based like beef and pork. Also your poop will be dark brown and small. Win win
In case you really want to do this, research on how to get into carnivore first. You probably will get the shits first if you get in head on first. But after that, it’s almost no gas and no poop
That sounds like constipation
You can’t eject what you don’t create.
I never fart on a meat and fish only diet. Bread, potatoes, rice etc? I fart
To a certain degree, yes; either burp more, or eat food that is easier to digest.
If you’re avoiding fast food, pears, beans etc. and you’re still coming across this issue, you may want to check with your doctor and see if you have any digestive issues
Once you have solved this filthy little secret problem that you’ve been hiding from your loved ones, you can turn your attention to those big greasy turds that you have been producing every day. You flush them away but we know, we can smell the odour of shit and air freshener. We know when the captain starts walking with short strides he’s clearing the poop deck, ready to drop anchor.
why would you want to give up one of life’s little joys?
The smell after, right? Right, guys?
It’s the flapping of buttcheeks during the fart, my fellow farter.
delet this
There is a diet created by Monash University researchers called the Low FODMAP diet. Essentially FODMAPs are harder to digest sugars that exacerbate GI symtpoms, like farts and cramps. Most people won’t see or feel much of a difference but those with GI issues (or those with a fart journal) may see a difference with the diet
However it is a rather strict diet to keep at first until you start reintroducing foods to figure out which foods cause the gas, so I would only recommend it if the gas is extreme or there is cramping or other GI related symtpoms.
I was on the diet for over a year by recommendation of a gastroenterologist and can confirm that after some time the farts were kinda rare and not the smelly kind. But like others have mentioned, farts are natural and cannot be eliminated.
Idk man, with some of the better ones you just feel the need to document them for posteriority.
2023-08-03, 8;04 GMT: Brrraaappppp - br - br - br - br - brapp - brap - BRAAAAAPPPPP (engine revving sounds)
Excerpt from my fart journal.
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I believe there’s a different technical term for mouth farts.
Fun tidbit. My kid, the first time they realized they farted ran up to me in scared confusion and confessed to me that they burped out of their butt. After learning everyone does and they did before but didn’t remember life was ok again
Haha, yes, but I rarely burp, again due to GI issues. If I chew gum, I fart. Otherwise, I’ll go days without any.
I REALLY wish FODMAP worked for me. I hear everyone raving about it, but may of the “safe” foods aren’t safe for me, even in their tiny amounts, and non safe foods are fine. sigh
Take it from me. You don’t want to give up farting.
Highlight of your day?
I had my ass surgically removed like 20 years ago. Now I don’t fart. Some days you miss it.
As someone with crohn’s I can confirm. Being bloated and unable to fart is a form of torture.
Gut ecology is complex and everyone’s is different and it changes over time and with age and when you have to take antibiotics, etc. There’s no one sure-fire way to just eliminate it.
It’s impossible to stop eating beans, so no
The magical fruit.
The thing is my family boils our own beans, and I’ve noticed everytime I eat canned ones, I fart a lot more, so something about those processed beans.
If you get access to one of them electric pressure cookers, instead of having to soak them overnight they can be done in an hour
Also they come out real soft
You mean you just straight pressure cook beans dried from the pack in an hour? Does it also work for giant beans? Got any recommendations on these electric pressure cookers?
I mean it’s probably closer to an hour an a half with warm up and cooling time, but it’s 45 minutes of cooking, yeah you’ve got the idea. Throw in a little salt because I can’t remember why I read it somewhere.
Instant Pot or Ninja Foodi. My preference is the Foodi because it’s also a really good air fryer and I only got so much counter space. But the Instant Pot is cheaper.
If you can get one of the older Instant Pot Duos opt for that, they started using cheaper materials in the latest models.
Yes. A keto diet (less than 20gr of carbohydrates per day) or a no-carb diet make you rarely if ever fart.
Bacteria in your intestines can break down some carbs releasing methane and hydrogen gas. If there is very little carbs in your diet, then the bacteria in your gut won’t produce a lot of gas.
This is a common realization of first-timers of these diets and therefore a frequently asked question on r/keto etc.
Side-note:
Due to the shift in diet, some gut bacteria, that rely heavily on carbs, might die off, which increases gas, but after a couple of days your body adapts to the diet and the flatulence ends.
I fart far less on keto. Like 10%.
bro is doing the 3 day no fart challenge 💀
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In short, no. To explain: you have a bunch of beneficial bacteria living inside your digestive tract. These little guys help you digest your food, and in return they get a free meal. This basically means that the food you eat ferments into poo. Fermentation always results in gas being released (think how the plastic wrap on a bowl of dough can puff up as it proves.) So to sum it up, unless you drank a strict water-only diet, anything you eat can give you gas. (Even then, you would probably still naturally swallow some air with the water, and some would make it to the other end as a fart.)
So we go to no pooping for 3 days to now someone wants to stop farting. What is going on here in lemmy?
Butthole problems
Ooo good band name
That first guy went 3 days and then posted a follow-up looking for constipation relief.
Seems that opened the floodgates. 😏
Our stop up the dam more likely.😹
Neat fact: Late in WWII, Germany deployed a rocket fighter. This rocket could climb to 12K in a three minuets. Consequently, the pilots had to eat a special low fiber diet to prevent gas because the change in pressure caused severe intestinal distress.
Of course that was the least of the pilot’s problems. The Me163 was so crazy dangerous it made OceanGate look as safe as the Bank of England.
This is precisely the answer I was looking for, though I didn’t know it when I asked. Thank you!
There you go, lots of processed grains and low fiber proteins
Are you flying an ME163?
The Me163 was so crazy dangerous it made OceanGate look as safe as the Bank of England.
You’re just saying that because part of the fuel mixture would burst into flames when it came into contact with pretty much anything organic and had to he kept in aluminum containers because it would eat its way out of anything else.
And don’t forget that the other part of the fuel mixture would also burst into flames when it came on contact with pretty much anything organic and had to be kept in glass containers because it would eat through aluminum.
could climb to 12K in a three minuets
a traditional minuet is ~4 minutes long, assuming meters, that would be roughly 2400 Km/h average speed
