If not, then what about rarely instead of never?

  • @BilboBargains@lemmy.world
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    12 years ago

    Once you have solved this filthy little secret problem that you’ve been hiding from your loved ones, you can turn your attention to those big greasy turds that you have been producing every day. You flush them away but we know, we can smell the odour of shit and air freshener. We know when the captain starts walking with short strides he’s clearing the poop deck, ready to drop anchor.

  • darcy
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    522 years ago

    bro is doing the 3 day no fart challenge 💀

      • @ickplant@lemmy.world
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        92 years ago

        If you really wanted the best of both worlds, you could get those underwear inserts that hide the smell.

          • @ickplant@lemmy.world
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            72 years ago

            They even have a blanket for similar purposes (fart concealment) and it’s called “the marriage blanket.” Cause farts ruin your marriage, allegedly. Haven’t ruined mine, but what do I know.

        • LousyCornMuffins
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          52 years ago

          There’s this mineral you can eat called bismuth subgallate that works as an internal deodorant. It’s sold under the brand name devrom. Haven’t tried it, but heard good things.

              • @ickplant@lemmy.world
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                22 years ago

                That would be genius marketing right there. I already ordered some online. Can’t wait to smell my own farts.

                • LousyCornMuffins
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                  22 years ago

                  The only reason I haven’t bought some is because I’m poor. Hey devrom guys I just got you a sale. Send me some.

      • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠
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        32 years ago

        Farts don’t have to smell bad. This is something you can change with diet. In particular, avoiding animal products will help. But if you go completely vegan, then your sweat will smell weird, so it’s a trade-off.

  • @Arxir@lemmy.world
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    72 years ago

    Yes. A keto diet (less than 20gr of carbohydrates per day) or a no-carb diet make you rarely if ever fart.

    Bacteria in your intestines can break down some carbs releasing methane and hydrogen gas. If there is very little carbs in your diet, then the bacteria in your gut won’t produce a lot of gas.

    This is a common realization of first-timers of these diets and therefore a frequently asked question on r/keto etc.

    Side-note:

    Due to the shift in diet, some gut bacteria, that rely heavily on carbs, might die off, which increases gas, but after a couple of days your body adapts to the diet and the flatulence ends.

  • @nightmareofahorse@lemmy.world
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    292 years ago

    There is a diet created by Monash University researchers called the Low FODMAP diet. Essentially FODMAPs are harder to digest sugars that exacerbate GI symtpoms, like farts and cramps. Most people won’t see or feel much of a difference but those with GI issues (or those with a fart journal) may see a difference with the diet

    However it is a rather strict diet to keep at first until you start reintroducing foods to figure out which foods cause the gas, so I would only recommend it if the gas is extreme or there is cramping or other GI related symtpoms.

    I was on the diet for over a year by recommendation of a gastroenterologist and can confirm that after some time the farts were kinda rare and not the smelly kind. But like others have mentioned, farts are natural and cannot be eliminated.

        • iesou
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          32 years ago

          Fun tidbit. My kid, the first time they realized they farted ran up to me in scared confusion and confessed to me that they burped out of their butt. After learning everyone does and they did before but didn’t remember life was ok again

    • AttackBunny
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      92 years ago

      I REALLY wish FODMAP worked for me. I hear everyone raving about it, but may of the “safe” foods aren’t safe for me, even in their tiny amounts, and non safe foods are fine. sigh

      • @Skates@feddit.nl
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        2 years ago

        Idk man, with some of the better ones you just feel the need to document them for posteriority.

        2023-08-03, 8;04 GMT: Brrraaappppp - br - br - br - br - brapp - brap - BRAAAAAPPPPP (engine revving sounds)

        Excerpt from my fart journal.

  • @yesman@lemmy.world
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    652 years ago

    Neat fact: Late in WWII, Germany deployed a rocket fighter. This rocket could climb to 12K in a three minuets. Consequently, the pilots had to eat a special low fiber diet to prevent gas because the change in pressure caused severe intestinal distress.

    Of course that was the least of the pilot’s problems. The Me163 was so crazy dangerous it made OceanGate look as safe as the Bank of England.

    • @Burninator05@lemmy.world
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      42 years ago

      The Me163 was so crazy dangerous it made OceanGate look as safe as the Bank of England.

      You’re just saying that because part of the fuel mixture would burst into flames when it came into contact with pretty much anything organic and had to he kept in aluminum containers because it would eat its way out of anything else.

      And don’t forget that the other part of the fuel mixture would also burst into flames when it came on contact with pretty much anything organic and had to be kept in glass containers because it would eat through aluminum.

    • @expatriado@lemmy.world
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      72 years ago

      could climb to 12K in a three minuets

      a traditional minuet is ~4 minutes long, assuming meters, that would be roughly 2400 Km/h average speed

  • @twistypencil@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I hardly ever fart, the rest of my family are a veritable natural gas factory. I do not eat sugar, or dairy and an vegetarian. Lots of black beans, not magical fruit for me. I never eat processed foods, and hardly ever eat bread or other gluten… I do have pasta once a week or so

  • @throw4w4y5@sh.itjust.works
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    1052 years ago

    I can guarantee that if you drank pure petroleum and ate quicklime then you would spend the rest of your life without worrying about farts.

  • @electrogamerman@lemmy.world
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    32 years ago

    Im not sure if this is allowed, but I asked chatgpt because I just discovered it and I’m bored:

    Flatulence is a natural bodily function and a normal part of the digestive process. It is not possible to eliminate farting completely, as it is a result of gas buildup in the gastrointestinal system. However, certain dietary changes may help reduce excessive gas production and the frequency of flatulence:

    1. Avoid gas-producing foods: Some foods can cause more gas than others, such as beans, lentils, cabbage, broccoli, onions, carbonated drinks, and certain types of fruits. Limiting or avoiding these foods may help decrease flatulence.

    2. Eat smaller, more frequent meals: Overeating can lead to increased intestinal gas production. Consuming smaller portions at mealtime and having regular, balanced meals throughout the day can be beneficial.

    3. Slow down while eating: Eating too quickly can cause swallowing air, leading to increased gas in the digestive system. Take your time to chew food thoroughly and avoid talking while eating.

    4. Be mindful of food intolerances: Some individuals may have intolerances to certain foods, such as lactose or gluten, which can contribute to excessive gas production. Identifying and avoiding trigger foods can help alleviate symptoms.

    5. Probiotics: Consuming foods and beverages that contain live cultures of beneficial bacteria (probiotics) may help promote a healthy balance of gut bacteria and reduce digestive issues, including gas. Examples include yogurt, sauerkraut, and kefir.

    Remember, occasional flatulence is normal and healthy. If you experience excessive or persistent bloating, discomfort, or changes in bowel habits, it is advisable to consult a medical professional to rule out any underlying digestive conditions or concerns.

  • @rickdgray@lemmy.world
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    62 years ago

    Gut ecology is complex and everyone’s is different and it changes over time and with age and when you have to take antibiotics, etc. There’s no one sure-fire way to just eliminate it.