Because he’s gonna open little free cafes in all his offices right?.. right guys??..
“I want to hold them captive all day long,” Ellison said during a financial presentation on Thursday. “I don’t want them leaving the building … I don’t want them walking down the road for a cup of coffee. We kind of figured out a few years ago how much that cost.”
One, fuck you with a burning stick.
Two, people who are off the clock can go wherever the fuck they want.
Three, you’d better be in that fucking office yourself at least forty hours a week.
Four, put the stick out with a jar of honey and then fuck your own peehole with it.
Honey is too kind. I was thinking more along the lines of putting the fire out using a jar of Carolina Reapers, and then he can go to town on his urethra with that
Jesus, I’m not a monster.
Ugh my director at work has been enforcing a strict RTO mandate while working fully remote from fucking Florida
If he’s not there, don’t work? I’m on the more industrial side of things, but if my boss is maliciously not here, that’s just me being paid to dick about on my phone. Or steamdeck if I’m feeling frisky.
Director is like my manager’s manager’s manager’s manager. She doesn’t contribute anything other than finding ways to reduce productivity
Unionize
Oh we are >:)
So first they force people back into the office because CBD businesses are suffering.
Then they want to ban people from going for a coffee?
Make up your fucking minds!
I want to hold them captive all day long.
…another reason for them to come and enjoy work: drop the little tykes off next door. We’ve got doctors on board and nurses, we’re going to feed them, but mum and dad will be working in our office.
Have a friend who got his PhD in Australia, in neuroscience. He’s got enormous personal debt, his department is chonically underfunded, he has two grad students to his name, and he’s got to spend every semester writing these long winded grant proposals to maintain any kind of budget.
Then six months ago, a recruiter from Fudan University reaches out to him. Flies him out to Shanghai, wines him and dines him, shows him around the campus, offers him a $1.5M housing allowance plus $500k salary with another $6M in budget and three other PhDs on his team.
He’s moving there in March.
Yeah, even if I was offered that I wouldn’t touch that shit with a 10 foot pole especially if we’re talking about being held captive.
People being held captive is in relation to the Perth-based mining company that the article talks about. The person you’re replying to is talking about a Shanghai-based university. There’s no captivity involved there, afaik.
That’s the “alternative” to captivity. And it’s going to lead to businesses that treat talent like this losing their talent to China. Speaking as someone who has also been contacted by numerous (sketchier than the above referenced) Chinese interests.
Absolutely a mask off “let them eat cake” level quote.
I don’t even know who this guy is, but I want to kick his ass.
let them eat cake that they buy from the company restaurant
She didn’t actually say that, historically, but yes.
Its great to see TBH. His employees will read this when they google and share it around the office if they are not already talking about it. They will be demoralised by it, productivity will drop. The high valued talent will move in a heartbeat and he will be left with those that cant get a better deal elsewhere.
But all that wont matter as its a long term problem.
Thats a problem for the next CEO.
Notice the problem here? Accountability!
Even worse, talented candidates always check out companies before applying.
I have had a few head hunters chat with me, first question I ask is “will you put 100% WFH in writing?”
Check out our compensation package! Nah.
This is all about building your personal life around work, this guy knows that current WFH initiatives are giving people better flexibility for work to fit around their personal lives.
The things he’s offering to basically hold his employees captive for the day, are quite decent. I just don’t see them being attractive to people long term.
I’m quite lucky to work for a company that measures performance based on results, rather than hours spent in the office.
However, work does offer a heap of incentives to head into the office (similar to this, we have an on-site cafe, restaurants, convenience store, gym, daycare facilities and school holiday activities); as sometimes heading in to collaborate with a team in person is a lot more convenient overall.
What this man is trying to offer is similar, except that by forcing attendance he will never be able to match that culture.
I say we give him a taste of his own advice.
this is the guy in a souls game that shouts out to ask you a favor but when you return after completing it he’s dead and there is a bundle of souls and a piece of armour or weapon waiting
Shit like this is why I became a contractor. Sick of control freaks with no idea what the job entails telling everyone what to do.
In any office job I’ve worked, I would have been able to accomplish jack shit for the second half of the day without a break with some food and good coffee.
Also, breaks in which you can do whatever you want are enforced by law around here, and I’d be surprised if it isn’t the same in Australia.
That man is both a dick, and a fool.
I feel like I’m a minority, but I HATE lunch breaks or any other unpaid break. I much prefer to work through them and leave an hour earlier. I don’t care if I can go out to eat or leave the office, an hour is not enough time to enjoy that. I still feel like I’m “at work”.
If I have to work 8 hours a day, then I want to be at work for 8 hours. Not 8 hours +an extra hour that you can say you’re “on break” but really your mind keeps thinking over any related problems you might be working on or planning for what you’re going to do when you get back from “break”.
I used to do the same thing. Come in, work for 8 hours, munching on something at my desk if hungry, and then leave. If I needed to think or was stuck, I’d get up and walk around the office (inside or out depending upon the weather) which typically helped get me un-stuck.
I think people should have that as an option if they wanted (I think it’s technically illegal here in Japan because employers would withhold the legally required break time until the end of the shift which is not how most people work).
I consider the question of free coffee to be a litmus test for any company. If you’re not offering it, you are unequivocally a loser not worthy of running a company:
- It costs next to nothing
- Caffeine makes the workers more productive
- Your best outcome is workers who drink a healthy amount of coffee every day
The expected return of offering free unlimited coffee for any work place is positive - and the inverse of not offering free coffee is hence negative.
Pretty much any office I’ve been in had free coffee. Good free coffee, now that’s few and far between.
It is. I think fair work should have a word with old mate.
Where I live, they can only enforce that you stay on site during breaks if they pay you for your breaks, and lord knows they don’t want to do that
History has shown overworked, burned-out, desperate-to-hold-the-job people make the BEST employees!
Go hardcore or go home! No, wait, not home…
What you lack in individual performance you can make up in volume. The only thing that really matters is the margins.
80% on a bunch of burnouts yield higher returns than 20% on a superstar. That’s how a Walmart scale business makes money
Taking a quick break and going down to the gas station down the road to get coffee and maybe a pastry was one of the only things that made my last job bearable.
Maybe it’s all colored by our experiences. I appreciate being able to take a quick break and walk down the hall to grab a coffee. Or I can walk down to the cafeteria for more choices plus a variety of snacks. I don’t have to pay anything nor get in my car and I still have that convenience regardless of weather
But wouldn’t both options be preferable? We bar people from going somewhere on their break? Sometimes you need to get out to clear your head.
To be honest this isn’t a massive departure from the various other non remuneration incentives offered by companies wanting you to be there in person. Silicon Valley has offered this forever. Gyms, cafes, holiday programs for kids etc.
People have different motivators. I don’t mind being in the office frequently. I work my hours then clock off. I find it easier to switch off from work when I leave work.
Some people will value it. If you’re not one of those people, don’t worry, you don’t have to work there. It’s pretty simple.
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I so love the idea of giving billionaires a plaque when they hit one billion, then take away 95% of their wealth and having them start again. A forced prestige system.
I’d love to start over with 50 million, too
I’d love to stack away a whole million in my life, that way, 50 generations down, one of my great grand children can try the game too!
