Looks like my account was banned/restricted for the above interaction, have already sent the mods on world an email asking if they’d be willing to reverse that. Had an episode of psychosis a few months ago where I did say some offensive stuff, (understandably) got a 3 month ban on .lol for that, so could see my account having been flagged.
I uh, I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to check others profiles to ensure we are correctly pronouning them… when making a throw away comment that is less than 10 words involving a ludicrously common saying. Jerboa does not show users pronouns. I could switch to an app that DOES show the pronouns, do any Lemmings have a recommendation for a free Lemmy mobile app that has that feature?
Edit: Edie chimed in, Jerboa does show pronouns. It’s a formatting issue with mobile vs browser (She has them on individual text lines so they don’t appear on mobile).
Was just going to respond to the user in question to let them know I wasn’t purposefully trying to offend that individual, to discover I’m not able to post or make comments on world now, so figured I’d see what y’alls opinion on the matter is.
Its an honest mistake and I think if you appealed the ban you’d have a good case for it, however as you now know that’s the trans flag you can be more mindful in future :)
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Usually when I make a mistake while trying to act in good faith, I apologize. Posting about the interaction without apology and flashing names of non-mods involved is not the way to correct your mistake, nor to garner sympathy.
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I did apologize to the mod I emailed. Not looking for sympathy, frankly I was more interested from a technical perspective as to why her pronouns aren’t showing on Jerboa, but they were on the browser.
Browsers will collapse white space, line breaks are converted to spaces.
Jerboa does not collapse white space, and instead rendered the display name with the line breaks. But, one possible reason is that, the area for usernames/display names can only display 1 line, so all of the pronouns got cut off.
That wasn’t your question though. If a technical jerboa question is what you intended to ask, about 90% of your post didn’t need to be included and the question in the title needed to be very different.
As to your edit, I would not recommend PM’ing the user directly; that may be very unwelcome and further breach rules of that community. Personally, I would have asked the mods for a chance to edit my comment and apologize publicly. But with previous history of your self-described “psychosis”, if I were the mod I would be skeptical of your motivations.
Ya the admin of Blajah made a solid point that I should have anonymized the post, I rarely post/comment, so not super familiar with the etiquette. Definitely will keep that in mind in the future. & hey my person, there are a lot of severe mental disorders other than gender dysphoria that exist out there :|
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Drag agrees, Lemmy is very cruel to trans people. Drag gets so many people yelling at drag for using drag’s first person neopronouns. So many people insisting drag’s pronouns are third person and making it into an argument.
Drag threw me for a loop the first time drag replied to me. I assumed it was a bit at first because this is the Internet and all, but I looked at drag’s history to see what the story was, since it’s not like anyone gives an introduction before commenting.
Other than the pronouns, Drag’s posts are like anyone else’s. Nothing was trollish, and Drag has explained drag’s pronouns a few times. It’s interesting to see drag’s idea is to create something simpler, but as it is not very English in structure, it sounds very strange at first. I think I’ve gotten the idea now, though I have had to make a few corrections as I type this.
First, I think people should be able to be whoever they want to be, especially online, if they aren’t doing things to be jerks. Drag has not done anyone wrong that I’ve seen. So if Drag asks me to call drag by something, why wouldn’t I? Drag has engaged with me in a friendly way, so I owe drag the same.
Second, I enjoy it as a creative exercise. It keeps my mind engaged while writing what would otherwise be a bland reply. It’s kind of fun to see language experience some flexibility and evolution, and if it honestly makes Drag feel better about drag’s self, I can accommodate that. If you can’t abide that, just move on and let Drag live drag’s life.
Even though most of us are liberal here, it doesn’t mean we’re free of bias or not stuck in our own ways. Even if we don’t get something, it doesn’t hurt us to cooperate with someone that it does make sense to. That’s just my feelings though.
Based and I-also-have-over-a-thousand-US-dollars-of-bad-dragon-pilled.
I supposed I left myself open for something like this! 🤣
Oh I meant you’re based for being chill, and I myself have an unreasonable amount of dragon dildos hahahaha
Ahh, well from what I hear, they make a top quality product, so I’m glad you’re giving yourself the best!
Going to dig through your comment history later, im curious to see what has been said o.o reminds me of the greentext of the black guy telling a story at a party of all white people, and he says the N word and a white girl asks him to not say that as it makes her uncomfortable and the black dude mentally is like “??? Are you fr?..”
Telling people not to do something when it makes you uncomfortable, for sure, that’s adulting 101. Hoooowever… Feel that shows how much social interaction that gal has actually had with African Americans outside of a professional setting… not much :|
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If any human gets upset about cultural appropriation, they’re not smart enough to continue engaging with. That whole karenesque idea should’ve died when it was about braids in white peoples hair.
If you don’t mind answering, what sort of surgery did you get for a NB transition?
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No, if they want to be gendered appropriately, they should have it in their username.
It is in their username, their version of Lemmy just doesn’t show it for some reason. Hexbear users have to pick a set of pronouns
I think we are/were/have sent that upstream to the main lemmy code doohickey.
my recollection is that they wouldn’t accept that one. I read through the old github discussions at one point when trying to get into contributing code. They claimed it was basically too anglo-centric and not generalizable to all languages and that therefore they’d only accept a more expansive/generic user tagging/flairing feature or something like that (which could then also be used for pronouns)
It did. OP’s client doesn’t display it. It’s pure miscommunication.
I do! And they isn’t one of them…
Besides that, I do accept that OP couldn’t see my pronouns, it isn’t their fault that I deliberately tried to fuck with my display name, and that their app then honours the newlines I put in there but truncates it to one line.
Apologies! I couldn’t see any pronouns from the image so defaulted to gender nonspecific they. Edited.
If somebody corrects you about gender, just say woops, correct yourself, and move on. It’s an honest mistake, a simple fix, and nobody should be offended. Especially online. If they are still offended, it’s because they want to be.
Especially since in this case it was not even the person that was misgendered that called it out. Maybe the original person doesn’t even care.
I think the issue here is that it wasn’t a case of “somebody corrects you about their gender”. It was “a third unrelated person comes in and rudely yells at you that you should have already known not to use a turn of phrase”.
The user’s pronouns were in her username, OP’s client just doesn’t display additional lines.
Just stop giving a fuck, there’s a metric shitton of crazies doing janny work, it’s unpaid and very unsatisfying. If they ban you, it’s either their instance’s loss or nobody’s. The account costs nothing because it’s worth next to nothing. I don’t even need the links that I myself post and the others’ I can see even if they ban my account. This is a shitpile, it being in the fediverse doesn’t make it less of a shitpile.
It’s reasonable, especially if they got a trans flag in their name. But even if not, it’s one click and a swipe back.
This is why gender abolition should’ve won out.
I’m not even interested in the username of the person I’m responding to. I tend to ignore it completely unless there’s a comment like “lol, username checks out”.
There are very few times I will bother to check someones profile. They have to either say something so awesome that I want to see more, or have given a take so hot I want to see if they’re trolling or if this is standard behaviour for them.
While it looks like the whole Jerboa/“miscommunication” thing has been sorted out here I want to chime in to say that no, I don’t think that checking profiles for anything is a reasonable expectation.
If they don’t list their pronouns and i can’t tell by their speech i just go neutral. Checking profiles for gender is definitely not considered necessary in the circles i run in. If poster doesn’t make it clear and doesn’t have pronouns listed honest mistakes will be made and forgiven
Pronoun police will get ya.
I’ve had people flip out at me on Lemmy for ‘misgendering’ it’s so ridiculous.
Like we don’t know if it’s a man or woman. It’s the internet, yknow?
God I hate it when people call animals “they”. Like “the dog doesn’t like their squeaky toy” - it’s a dog! Call it “it”! “The dog doesn’t like its squeaky toy”
If they say “the goose doesn’t like his ball” that is misgandering.
It don’t like your comment…
“The dog likes his squeaky toy.”
Like everyone is fighting over gender in human race, I would like that you finally understand that dogs/cats/cows even the squirrel in your garden… Those are sentient living beings… Stop treating them like just a fucking object !
But even in English - if you are completely gender neutral - “the human does not like its work in the office” is the same.
That is simply incorrect English, words have more referents than gender. Traditionally “it” is reserved for non-human things of all types, but definitely does not ever apply to a human, and calling someone an “it” without it first being requested by them is near-universally recognized as a dehumanizing insult.
Hummm… Maybe I don’t get all the grammatical rules in English, but it’s really disheartening to treat living beings as objects.
As I remember
Itis an article for objects and I would never consider my dog as an non-living object. He’s way more “human” than most people that I have encountered in my life.
To be fair, some languages outside of English reserve “it” (or the equivalent 3rd person neuter pronoun) for “non-living” things. For people whose native language is one of those languages, calling an animal “it” may seem a bit too harsh even while speaking English.
If you don’t know then why are you using gendered pronouns for them?
I actually wasn’t but that’s a different story
And when you speak up about how useless all of this is your comment might get removed :O
I recommend sticking to gender nonspecific instead of defaulting to masculine.
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Gender is an incredibly validating concept specifically for some trans people, to write it off is unhelpful.
I mean in my “very long” years of experience never seen in an anonymous ungoverned platform someone intentionally revealing any peace of personal information about themselves like in hacking platforms for example someone calling themselves “he who hacks” or “her majesty” or such where those are only simple usernames but yet reveal enough to minimize the search area and along with the comments data could trigger enough data to start and osint attack on the user and then eventually dox them…
if you’re obligating everyone to acknowledge your personal data don’t be nagging when companies be selling your data and making profit out of it since there are people who like Force feeding their informations onto others to be aware of, hell I won’t even blame Lemmy instance owner to sell the users data by then.
I’ll be talking about myself and the majority of users that immigrated to this social platform based on the idea that it’s ungoverned, legally safe for all users and anonymous so when a user Calles someone bro or pal it’s if not always meant as gender neutral same as in a random people calling you bro with the meaning of that he/she descending from your mom or dad, like yourself, the logic is the same and intentions were pure, plus with the culture of respecting everyone’s right of privacy you’d learn to treat everyone as equal and the same, with the only difference is the mentality and ideas held by individuals not by gender as the only special treat to define a user.
Bad faith argument.
Listing your pronouns isn’t force feeding anything to anyone. Observing someone’s listed pronouns takes less effort than having this discussion.
Using they/them and gender neutral language is helpful as a general rule, but if someone is absolutely fucking waving a flag of their gender, its wilfully ignorant at best and intentionally malicious at worst to disregard it.
Or just quoting a P.T. Barnum as most people don’t like changing quotes for whatever reason and using what is known to be a famous saying is definitely not “intentionally malicious” it’s mostly the ignorant’s fault for not getting the innocent joke, plus not all Lemmy mobile apps show stuff like flags and pronounces so maybe consider that as well on your side before dropping the death sentence…
Your argument was that everything should be gender neutralised. That has nothing to do with OP’s very innocent usage of a quote.
When did I drop a death sentence? Deary me, I advocate for using someone’s pronouns instead of applying they/them to everybody and you consider that a death sentence?
Not “should be” but sometimes everyday users would just quote and go without the extra effort of checking into everyone’s profile before the already wasted effort of doing the comment then changing the quotes based to fit for everyone’s gender perfectly so the easier solution is just considering everyone a catfish and just move on it’s just a quote of a meme anyway for all that effort to waste
This is an absolutely garbage take. “Anonymous” defaults to male in everyone’s mind because patriarchy is the basis of our society. Claiming everyone should just be “Anonymous” is a male supremacist and exclusionary of everything else position to take.
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Learn how to punctuate your fucking sentences.
whatever dumbass point you’re trying to get across isn’t landing because you write in borderline incoherent run-on sentences
the fediverse isn’t explicitly about privacy btw, it’s about taking control from corporations who want to exploit us, and giving it to the community itself via decentralization. there’s absolutely no expectation to be a tinfoil hat weirdo on here, and if you want to cultivate a community that isn’t just a bunch of paranoid weirdos with nothing to talk about except opsec, then yes sharing (in this case the bare fucking minimum) about your identity is actually beneficial to, y’know, discussing things
Whoa there those are big words for an UFO sighting are you a conspiracy theorist or something? Lmao
I think you replied to the wrong account, this is a completely incoherent response
If you think I would read this shit after that first sentence you’re a fucking idiot
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X’D
Look bud, if you’re gonna try and do transphobia to show us how trash you are, at least make it coherent.
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Your parents failed in raising you
Dude I can smell the greasy hair through my screen
Eat my ass
You did the right thing. It’s a lot of bullshit about “oh, you list your pronouns? You must be fine with corporations selling your data” and then at the end there seems to be a bit of “hexbear showed up late to the fediverse party and is ruining everything”, which is, of course, pretty much directly opposite of the truth.
Hexbear existed 2 years before everything else? Fucking wild. This loser’s account is literally 3 years younger than my hexbear account and 2.5 years younger than my Lemmy.ml one and he thinks we’re the late ones?
The only “ruining” I’m doing here is ruining his bullshit fuckoff attempt to associate lgbt and gender with being a corporate thing, it’s fucking nonsensical. Dude deserves to lose teeth.
As I’ve said else where in the thread, Hexbear has some high quality contributors, I’m glad y’all decided to federate.
yes, it takes 2 seconds and minimal effort.
You are supposed to do deep research on the person you’re commenting to…
I barely even read usernames, plus Voyager App doesn’t show profile bios, so even if I wanted to check their profile I can’t and I’m sure as fuck not using the mobile website to get the information.
That’s not an excuse nor justification for misgendering anyone, neutral pronouns exist, use them.
If you tell me I will use them, I’m not a mind reader, I’m a dumbass with an internet connection.
If you get upset by someone using non gender neutral pronouns in general speech I don’t think you’re old enough to be on the Internet, and if you are we need to raise the age of access.
Same. Voyager doesn’t show it, I’ll do my best, but I’m not going to feel bad when I miss
That’s why I just stick with they/them, anyone who gets annoyed about me using that isn’t worth the energy, it’s an anonymous message board, I don’t know you, that’s my purse!
Dumbass here gets it!
Remember kids, moron is a genderless word that can be applied to anyone!
I’m probably a bit further to the right than most on the fediverse with this opinion but…
I think, once you have been informed of someone’s pronouns, it’s flat out rude to not use them. I don’t know if it’s a banning issue but that’s for the moderators on your instance to decide or the instance the community is on. Even if you don’t agree with someone’s lifestyle, it’s just polite to address people the way they’d like to be addressed.
But surely there’s a difference between intentional misuse and accidental. I think banning someone for not looking up someone’s pronouns before a public interaction seems like pushing things a bit far here. I certainly am not checking such things. But, then in general when online I will use gender neutral wording because frankly, for online interactions someone’s rarely information that matters for the interaction. I don’t really need to know.
My view is, I think it is almost always clear when someone is being malicious and thus transphobic and when someone makes an honest mistake/did not know better. We, as a whole, really should be differentiating between obviously malicious and non-malicious cases.
Yaa that is similar to my viewpoint, though I am also a cis, white, blonde, blue eyed, tall, male, so my experiences/opinions are coming through the privilege lenses absolutely :| Having to deal with conversations like this all the time with “normies”, can imagine people who are deep into such social circles get tired of dealing with the acting-in-bad faith bullshitters.
