Let me put it this way.

If you don’t like your bidet, you don’t trigger it. If you like it, you enjoy it.

My wife and I enjoy it quite a bit. To the point that when I used the other bathroom, there’s been at least one case, where I’ve cleaned up in there, went into the other bathroom and got a better clean.

As for “how to use it” It will depend on the bidet on how to use it, but for ours you turn the knob, spray your special areas (There’s two directions to turn, as a guy I don’t notice a major difference, but I imagine a woman might, as one spray feels a bit “longer”, but not to the point where I think it’ll hit everything down there" You get jet water on your bum, I tend to move around a little to make sure it’s getting the whole area, then turn it off. Then wipe (I use toilet paper).

You wipe more to “Dry” than to “Clean” which is a lovely feeling.

There’s two must buys in the bathroom, the squatty potty and the bidet. I would say the Squatty potty is more important (I miss it more) but the bidet is getting up there.

I only use my bidet if I had a very soft movement. I find if I use it after a harder one, it causes irritation (I use a wet wipe instead).

Get a washlet brand bidet if you can. Have had mine several years now and it still works great. I miss it when I’m not at home

We have a bidet attachment and my partner loves it, but i don’t like it at all.

I don’t mind bidets, though I’ve never installed one, since I can’t imagine they’d be fun to clean.

Here’s the thing, though…I have a system I consider superior to a bidet in pretty much every way. See, I noticed a long time ago that I poop somewhere between 0.9 and 1.1 times per day on average, and I aim to shower at least once per day. I don’t know about you, but I noticed a certain opportunity for synergy there. I call it the PoopShower system (patent pending), and after many years of using it, I don’t feel adequately clean even after using a bidet. So my personal ranking is: PoopShower, (looooong gap), bidet, TP, newspaper, leaves.

I bought a cheap one a while back, and I didn’t like it. It was not a heated model, and I did not enjoy cold water spraying on my butt, especially in the winter.

At the time, I also had some painful anal issues that I was dealing with. The water pressure on mine felt quite strong and was painful for me.

I ended up switching to wipes, and they have worked wonderfully for me.

I bought a deluxe model($400) at the beginning of the pandemic and I’ve never looked back. The model I have has a seat warmer, internal water heater, fan for drying and a few different spraying options.

I will say the fan is a bit lackluster but dries you as long as you don’t mind waiting a few mins. The different spraying options are nice - there is one called turbo mode that can be a little harsh but def leaves your butthole clean!

I honestly have no regrets at all and I’m pretty spoiled at this point. Curious to see if there’s any haters that will chime in as well.

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The only downside I can think of are firstly that the water pressure for an attachment one can be painful if you turn it up to fast at first if you haven’t gotten used to the knob. I did buy a cheap one without hot water at first but ended up buying another one with hot water as well. I’d be fine with the only cold water one, it’s still 1000x better than toilet paper, but the hot water is nice in the winter. It’s also annoying to clean around somewhat.

I guess I don’t really fit the description in your title though, those are the downsides I can think of with mine though, also mine were the bidet attachments, not a full bidet.

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I have 2 bidets one electric and the other fancy and electric, I kinda like the mechanical one more. Better pressure

I’ve had one since about 2018 and I swear by it. Same kinda issue as you, sensitive stomach that results in 2+ BMs a day. I have the cheap kind because I have no access to the hot water or an outlet at the toilet. The cold water takes a little bit to get used to but once you’re used to it, it can be refreshing, even when it’s -40C out.

Like others I set the strength where I want and then blast the sides of the arse followed by some sustained starfish soaking. Let drip dry for a few min then use a few squares to dry and check for skids. The cleanliness afterwards is SO much higher than just TP. Plus on hot days sometimes a shot of cold water to the bum is refreshing and helps cool you down. Definitely helps with swamp ass.

Eat some fricking fiber.

This might sound gross, but in our culture, we use a bottle of water and our hands to rinse and wipe. can’t get any cleaner than that. and yes, we ofc wash our hands thoroughly afterwards.

💀