Like what the fuck IS this? In order to know anything meaningful about a house, I need it inspected, but to get it inspected I need to fucking put money down AND PAY FOR THE FUCKING INSPECTION and if it’s fucked and I don’t want to buy it then woops I lose all this fucking money? Jesus fucking christ it’s a turbo charged version of the apartment application fee scam. Fucking christ. Who decided on all this bullshit? Infinite guillotines for all of them
This is one of those things that just really go to show the fucked up extremism of the bourgeoisie, like, you could have capitalist hell and still have like mandatory state run inspections, the details of which are public, for every property being sold. But woops, nope, fuck you peasant
You’d think with how this country jerks itself raw over home owners it wouldn’t be this way, but WOOPS
This post brought to you by my gf and I being incredibly anxious over maybe buying a house that seems okay but has a slab foundation so like i don’t fucking know what condition the plumbing is in
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Buying a horse is such house dick bullshit
Dont worry though, kamalas got you covered with her $25k tax credit. That should solve the housing crisis
I’m black, in a neighborhood with an average income below the poverty line and I own a small business, but only for 2.9 years. Do I qualify?
do you have a Pell grant???! No??! Of course not!!
Yeah im gonna need your pell grant status and also whether you prefer cherry or apple pie
Sorry, death penalty. Next!
Don’t forget the bidding! Even if you can barely afford it, don’t you love how buying a house is like getting something on eBay?
has a slab foundation so like i don’t fucking know what condition the plumbing is in
where I live, you can pay a plumber a few hundred dollars to snake an endoscope through all the pipes and they can catch some (but not all) serious issues
we coulda done that but NOW IT’S BEING SOLD
I know im flooding this post but seriously, don’t kick yourself for missing put on this. 9 times out of 10 there’s something major that will come up in an inspection. There is literally no benefit to forgoing an inspection if you’re buying the property to actually live in. Slumlords don’t care because they can just try to charge rent for somebody to live in a house with non functional plumbing or heat but if you’re looking for a place to actually live just tell yourself they’re grabbing up all the properties that want to avoid an inspection, the houses you actually want to buy won’t have any problem with an actual inspection.
We’ll only make laws for banks (better get that inspection for the property we’re lien-owners of), and even then we need to make sure you pay for it.
That’s capitalism, at least now. We’ll make laws, but only for capitalist ownership. (But we pinky swear-promise, we all participate in capitalism, so you’re like an owner too! We Swear!)
The fun don’t stop once you get the house, then you get to deal with the fun of your mortgage getting sold to a different bank every six months and having to re-register with their new system and hoping they remember to pay the insurance and taxes out of the escrow.
Oh, here is the REAL kicker too because you’re doing an inspection because you don’t want to get fucked by a house that is insulated with black mold, you’re going to lose out on bid on the house because there are petite bourgeois dropping literal stacks of cash on the table well above asking price and forgoing inspections so they can buy the house and flip it.
You have to just accept the fact that the dumb shit paying above market value for no insoecti9n closing is fucking themselves over 90% of the time.
Keep an eye on these properties there’s a decent chance they end up back on the market within 6 mo the once they get an actual inspection and realize how much they fucked up. Not saying you should then make an offer just take note of how frequently that plan of throwing money at a problem backfires if the person doesn’t actually know wtf they’re doing.
There’s also loan “origination fees”. If you’re too poor to up front like a 1/3 of the cost then there’s Private Mortgage Insurance fees tacked onto your payment which can be several hundred dollars a month until the principal, which you could be paying down with that PMI is below a certain threshold.
Then there’s “closing costs” which is just a fuck you fee with the bank. If rates drop down and you want to refinance then you ahve to pay the origination fees and closing costs for that too.
It’s expensive being not fabulously wealthy.
And realtors take 1-5% for like…looking up a listing and taking you there and writing a bit of paperwork?
Don’t forget taking some of the worst photographs known to man.
Yeah, it’s fucking terrifying and a needlessly fast/complex process that seems designed to intimidate people doing it for the first time. Like everything else, it is extremely tilted in favor of people who have limitless money to burn and are doing what they’re doing in order to make a profit, not survive. Solidarity, comrade.
The idea of buying a house stresses me out so much. I’m mid-forties, and the more I save, the more expensive houses get, and the higher the interest rate goes! Not to mention, I take 3 months to decide on a laptop, but you gotta pick a house quick before some asshole swoops in with a cash offer just to flip it a year later.
An average house in my area would have about a $4,500 monthly mortgage payment with current interest rates. Still $7.25/hr minimum wage though
Not only that but you’re often competing against buyers who have the entire value of the house in cash and are willing to pay over asking price and waive inspections
Man we gotta do something about these landlords
If you have an experienced inspector, try to get them to give you their hunch. Hunches by experienced people mean a LOT.
yeah it sucks. I want to get out of apartments but I’m dreading having to participate in the housing market
I need to fucking put money down AND PAY FOR THE FUCKING INSPECTION
Put money down on the house or money down on the inspection? You want to be the one who pays the inspector. Otherwise the owner will hire an overlooker. Also be sure to get a real inspector and not some specialist moonlighting as a general inspector.
But otherwise, buying a house is one of if not the most Byzantine part of american society. The stakes are so high that its caked in two centuries of laws. Land ownership is the cornerstone of the cornerstone of american society. And if there is anything more important, its land scams.
Houses and cars are both terrible. Really, anything that requires going into debt to get is guaranteed to fuck you over somehow. Shit, college too.
Really, anything that requires going into debt to get is guaranteed to fuck you over somehow.
you could have capitalist hell and still have like mandatory state run inspections, the details of which are public, for every property being sold.
RIGHT!? SAME FOR EVERY FUCKING TYPE OF INSURANCE. ALL OF THIS SHIT WOULD BE BETTER IF IT WAS NATIONALIZED.
Yeah any huge purchase like that feels like you’re getting scammed, because you are. A small army of middle men all get to take their cut of something that should be a human right.
