Like this:
But replace “Hawaii” with your location.
🙃
I will go as close as I can to the most touristy area as soon as I can in hopes I get vaporized so I don’t survive the blast. If it’s fake then I guess I’ll go to some empty nowhereish area in a big touristy park and call 988, then go shoppin and buy some starbucks. The street vendors selling flavored honey and enamel pins and stuff probably are gone so I can’t shop at their thingies otherwise I would. But honestly I’m sick of calling 988. I’m tired of fighting. Tired of trying. I’m going to have dementia in my thirties anyway might as well cut my losses.
At my current location, I’d expect it to be an error, since I’m about 1500 miles away from the nearest worthwhile target (Chilean Antartica Region).
Maybe you’re more important than you give yourself credit for.
In that case, the only immediately available shelter that would have any effect at all is the sweet embrace of a bottle of gin.
Take comfort in the knowledge that somebody out there with launch authority is thinking of you. Immolation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Those penguins have it coming.
nooo 😭
Remember that sailor you won that hand of poker against? The one who stalked away mad? Well he has a brother in the missile command…
Cool! how is the Antarctic? I live in the Arctic.
Cool 😎
19 hours of sunshine, 0-10 degrees Celsius, windy as fuck, and you better apply the strongest sunscreen you can get 3x a day or you’ll regret it.We’re experiencing a couple of hours of twilight at midday at the moment but otherwise darkness. No aurora either because it’s been mostly cloudy since the beginning of polar night. Also it’s been raining on and off, which is not a good sign.
Please send penguin pics or else you’ll be wishing for a ballistic missile
Penguin tax:
Whaaaat. Is this even allowed!?
What are you gonna do, call the seals? (Please don’t)
I tried, but they just said “ORF, ORF, ORF!”. Seals don’t seem to understand English.
My babies ❤️
awww cuty pingwy
Payment accepted. Dress code observed.
LOVE this!!! Do you have rock hoppers or macaroni penguins near you? Love those two species.
No, only Magellan Penguins.
But they’re cute as hell!
Given how slow the elevator is in my building, I’d do nothing. I’d be dead before it showed up.
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Maybe they’re not able to use stairs
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Correct. I can’t use the stairs because otherwise my already flailing joke wouldn’t work at all.
Plot twist: The joke was the one needing the crutch.
I wonder if my neighbours will think fucking around with Russia was worth finding out, or rejoice in the victory of retaliation.
Russia has a nasty habit of attacking smaller countries to feed their imperialist ambitions and hiding behind their nukes whenever anyone says anything. It’s better to risk a nuclear exchange to bloody their noses and teach them some manners, than let them continue their crap.
Fuck evil Dobby.
Both objective reality, and Russian perception, is that US is 100% responsible for instigating and perpetuating the war. The only objective for fighting is to continue to diminish Russia through NATO or US alignment. You are essentially saying that it is legitimate to make the “evil side” STFU through a nuclear strike potentially on civilian/economic targets. You can thank Putin for being so moderate and patient in this war so far, in not making the US choose to STFU and collapse.
Are you high or just a moron?
You mean when Russia invaded in 2022, which nobody expected to actually happen because it was obviously stupid and wouldn’t work? America gave that order?
Yes US/Ukraine instigated it. The key to any Russian missile launch is Russian opinion that US instigated the war.
This is just fake propaganda.
I assume pizza delivery times will be through the roof, so I’d try to get mine in ASAP.
Nothing I can do. As far as I know there is no bomb safety infrastructure near my house plus I’m afraid of getting trapped underground so I wouldn’t want to risk sitting in one.
I’d crack a beer, sit out on my deck and call my family and close friends to say my goodbyes.
I’d be setting off the pair of sirens I own, then awaiting the inevitable. Thankfully I live in an area where the chance of being vaporized is quite high.
I go outside with arms open wide, saying “it’s about time”.
I live in a shithole 100km from a NATO capital. I’m not expecting a direct or near hit, so the fallout is my main concern. I should have at least 20-30 minutes to get comfy.
I’ve got potable water in jugs in the basement already. I’ll just grab a couple of mattresses, sleeping bags, camping stove, food, solar/crank radio and head down there. Also some duct tape to seal up the ventilation.
Don’t use the stove if you’re going to seal up any ventilation.
If I’m at work, I go to the gym (the gym’s in a cold war bomb shelter) if I’m at home I start heading north. Put a couple of mountains between me and the city.
“thank God, it can finally be over” would be my first thought, followed by hugging and petting my dogs until it happens.
Meh. I can still doom scroll in that time. Best use of my time I tell you.
My wife’s cousin actually got this text while on vacation in Hawaii. Said he just sparked up a joint n hoped for the best. It worked, so maybe I’ll do the same.
Smoke them if you have them. Why freak out.
I live with my mom and my wife 40 mins from the vancouver city centre… Honestly I’d probably go sit with my wife, kiss them ‘n hope for the best.
Also sobbing, that too. Can’t forget that.
Ohai, neighbour. My mom’s about 9 realistic hours of travel away (aka 2 small BCFerries trips). Can I borrow your mom too? If you also can see the noodlebox location that used to be a starbucks, that is. I can sob like no one else; ugly-crying and everything.
My mom will absolutely volunteer to be a mom for you too 💛 We can even have a competition about who can sob the most!
Chug some NyQuil, take some sleeping pills and some Benadryl and deal with it later.
Visit from the hatman guaranteed
