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Y|yukichigai to Asklemmy@lemmy.mlEnglish • 5 months ago

What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?

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What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?

Y|yukichigai to Asklemmy@lemmy.mlEnglish • 5 months ago
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  • @Azzu@lemm.ee
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    9•5 months ago

    There is no worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza. The way someone eats something is irrelevant. There is no good or bad here.

    • @Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de
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      11•5 months ago

      The worst way to eat a pizza is to not eat a pizza. So uh, maybe taking many pizzas, making a bath out of them and expecting to take in the nutrients through your skin?

      • @Azzu@lemm.ee
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        8•5 months ago

        That’d be the only answer I’d accept 😆

        Not eating the pizza is indeed incorrect when the goal is to eat the pizza.

    • Mayor Poopington
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      16•5 months ago

      You must have missed the person that said blended up and enema’d

      • @Azzu@lemm.ee
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        9•5 months ago

        I like a good enema

        • @AdamEatsAss@lemmy.world
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          8•5 months ago

          I personally love a good deep dish extra cheese anchovy red pepper sausage enema.

          • Nate Cox
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            7•5 months ago

            What a surprise: AdamEatsAss likes enemas. 🫡

    • @Alice@beehaw.org
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      5•5 months ago

      Consider: floating in a bowl of milk like cereal. It’s one big piece but you still have to use a spoon.

  • socsa
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    3•5 months ago

    Bend over and I’ll show you

  • @NastyNative@mander.xyz
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    1•5 months ago

    I seen my buddy roll and entire large pie and started to it eat from the center. I was disgusted and intrigued!

  • @xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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    3•5 months ago

    Folding the slice in half.

    You’ve got two fucking hands - give that fucker some structural support.

    • Tiefling IRL
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      4•5 months ago

      They asked for the worst way, not the best way

      • @RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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        1•5 months ago

        Fold it in half end to end, not down the middle.

        • Tiefling IRL
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          1•5 months ago

          Now we’re talking

      • @CommissarVulpin@lemmy.world
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        2•5 months ago

        A pizza shouldn’t require you to fold it in half to eat it. I didn’t ask for a sheet of paper with cheese on it.

        • Tiefling IRL
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          5 months ago

          A nice slice of crispy crust pizza is made to be folded. It keeps the toppings inside, gives you twice as much pizza per bite, gives it structural integrity, and makes it possible to eat with one hand. The best slices are the ones that need a paper plate underneath. Basically a pizza sandwich.

  • Zeppo
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    33•5 months ago

    This awful video I saw where someone put pizza in a blender and turned it into a casserole

    • Y|yukichigaiOP
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      19•5 months ago

      What about that but as a sausage?

      • @jet@hackertalks.com
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        2•5 months ago

        Here we go!

    • @Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      6•5 months ago

      I refuse to believe that was anything other than rage bait, like every Chef Club video.

      • Zeppo
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        5•5 months ago

        Sure, probably. Still qualifies though, right?

        • @Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          5•5 months ago

          Oh for sure, I just refuse to believe I’m living in a world where people put pizza in a blender for anything other than rage bait or dealing with a wired jaw and a pizza craving, haha.

  • Paul Drye
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    25•5 months ago

    Turned into a slurry and then administered as an enema.

    • @Hadriscus@lemm.ee
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      6•5 months ago

      Pizza Slurry Enema

      nice band name

      • @Birch@sh.itjust.works
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        1•5 months ago

        Or Jackass stunt

  • spicy pancake
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    3•5 months ago

    infuse it into vegetable glycerine and vape it

  • @MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
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    13•5 months ago

    Gonna need somewhat of a custom pizza shape for this to work without arousing suspicion. Put the pizza between the toilet rim and the seat. If it sags a bit that’s fine, the seat should hold it in place. Print out a picture of the inside of the toilet bowl and place it on top of the pizza. Close the lid.

    After a few days, invite the crew over for beers. Rig the bathroom light so that it’s very dim. “Sorry, been having issues with it, not sure what the problem is.” Eventually someone is going to notice the ruse. When they do, “Oh shit, my pizza! I was wondering where that went.” Bring it back into the kitchen and offer everyone a slice. They will refuse. “More for me then!” Eat the whole thing.

    Instant legend.

    • @TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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      2•5 months ago

      What the fuck did I just read? You want to eat a piss soaked pizza?

      • @MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
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        3•5 months ago

        What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?

        • @TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          Yes, it answers the question but the phrasing made it sound like you actually want to do it…

          • @MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
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            1•5 months ago

            I was just following the writing prompt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ll take your comment to mean I done did good :D

  • @Sequentialsilence@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    With a spoon

    Close second would be chopsticks.

    • ERROR: Earth.exe has crashed
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      10•
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      2 months ago

      deleted by creator

      • @PoolloverNathan@programming.dev
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        3•5 months ago

        How does that even work?

        • @superkret@feddit.org
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          1•5 months ago

          Very well, thanks for asking.

        • HatchetHaro
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          4•5 months ago

          well, we chinese undergo intense shaolin finger strength training at a young age, and so we all can pick up heavy objects up to 1kg with our chopsticks.

  • @superkret@feddit.org
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    5 months ago

    You take it out of the oven, cut a slice as fast as you can and immediately bite down on it, holding it in your mouth until the cheese has completely fused with the roof of your mouth.

  • Tiefling IRL
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    5 months ago

    Fold it in half (sauce outl, then eat it from the middle out

    Or with a fork and knife

    • Nailbar
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      1•5 months ago

      Like a watermelon 💜

    • ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
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      1•5 months ago

      yeah fork and a knife…how dare to be civilized?!? murican go slurp this down with 1.5gallons of mountain dew and shower in gravey on your highway stop breakfast. disgusting pigs.

    • @Panda@lemmy.today
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      1•5 months ago

      Almost like a calzone?

      • @tetris11@lemmy.ml
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        1•5 months ago

        Inverted calzone

        • @TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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          2•5 months ago

          Putting it that way just makes it sound delicious

  • Arthur Besse
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    19•5 months ago
    knife + fork + stacked slices, as Donald Trump was called out for on *The Daily Show* 17 years ago

    screenshot of youtube video of a 2008 episode of the daily show, showing donald trump eating a stack of two slices of NY pizza using a knife and fork. jon stewart looks dismayed, and there is a subtitle saying "Mother f... and you stack your slices, Donald?"

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4Aa6ncIk70

  • @weew@lemmy.ca
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    5•5 months ago

    Underwater

  • fmstrat
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    2•5 months ago

    In soup.

  • @Taewyth@jlai.lu
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    5•5 months ago

    My partner picks it up from underneath the slice and starts by eating the crust. To this day I’m still baffled by it.

    • BmeBenji (he/him)
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      7•5 months ago

      The crust is a breadstick treat you get for finishing your slice

      • Y|yukichigaiOP
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        3•5 months ago

        Especially true with deep dish/pan crust pizzas.

        My wife rarely eats the crust on her pizza, which is fine by me since I’m happy to turn those pizza bones into free breadsticks.

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