You know, before work and everything starts again… sometimes I feel like I’m obsessed with min-maxing my weekend because of the limited time I have. So I usually feel quite guilty if I end up slacking too much. And I tend to be quite aware of how much time I have left. Anyone else that has this issue?
I have the opposite problem. I sit down Friday evening, and before I know it, it’s Sunday night.
I swear I last remember sitting down and it was 2019. Now by bones are half dust.
Tell me. I recently dated this blonde girl and suddenly I’m divorced, burnt out and middle aged. Ok, I still got two cool adult kids.
Try and find a job you don’t hate.
I lucked into a book called ‘Discover What You Are Best At.’
Turns out, when you aren’t miserable about going to work, a lot of your other problems vanish.
this is really a big part of it. folks who have “pre-monday” dread are dreading something and I feel like we all owe it to ourselves to find a way to work that we don’t dread.
Ikigai, the Japanese philosophy, sums up a good way to try to think about this.
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcQShgM4AHjckIHaFUzk8efCvggw6p5MvDNTMQ&s=
OP if you’re reading this, I feel you, I’ve been thinking about beginnings/endings/time remaining since I was a little kid and its a fuckin curse, frankly.
As a few people have mentioned, mindfullness is a good thing to learn a bit about and to try to “do” basically every day if you can remember.
You dont need to sit listening to a person who’s doing the “spiritually tuned in reassuring relaxing voice” that mindfulness people make the mistake of doing.
If you stop, put your feet firmly on the ground and feel the floor under your feet (rock your weight up to your toes and back to your heels and really feel the solid quality of the ground for just a sec) thats called ‘grounding’ typically, then take one slow (5 secs or so in and another 5 out) diaphagramatic breath (breathe down and into your belly, not the chest, your belly button should go out instead of your breastbone) and thats it. you’ll now remember whatever youre looking at the next day instead of just going through the motions of your weekend free time.
things end and death is coming for all of us, but not now, and thats worth checking in to
I don’t really hate my job to be honest. It’s just that, no matter what I’d do for pay, it will never be anything I really want to do. I’d rather spend my spare time pursuing whatever studies, hobbies, exercise or random leisure I really want to do. Capitalizing on your interests doesn’t lead to anything good, at least for me. People always say, “try to find your dream job!” but for some people, there will never be. Because capitalism and 40 hour work weeks are unnatural in itself. But yes, mindfulness and meditation is key, still.
Thanks for the book rec but as I mentioned in other comments, I know that there won’t be a job which I’ll enjoy doing 8 hours a day for the rest of my life. I even enjoy my current job sometimes, but I still rather be without it if it was possible. And I’ve also tried different sectors already… Either way, I’ll check out the book.
Bull. This is corporate propaganda for the grind culture, the same capitalist culture that is currently grinding the middle class into the gutter.
I love my job. I’m pretty fucking good at it, probably wouldn’t be much good at anything else. But, I wouldn’t do it for free. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t need a job. And I still get burnt out on the constant demands it makes on my time and energy. Turns out, humans value play over obligation. We are most fulfilled, happy, and joyful at play. Play is like the opposite of obligation. The only thing worse than being forced to work is watching as your play (fulfilling thing you enjoy doing) turns to work (that thing you’re obligated to do for survival).
It’s the time that is the difference, not the bullshit fallacy of “do what you love”. If we could all survive off of a 3-4 day work week and a 3-4 day weekend, that might actually make a dent on those problems. We might all find we’re all a lot less stressed, fulfilled, and able to connect more meaningfully with the rest of humanity.
OP hates his weekends.
If he has a job he doesn’t hate, he might be able to relax for two days because he doesn’t dread Monday morning.
It would be nice if we were all living in a world where a minimum wage job let you thrive. Until then, we try to do the best we can.
Nothing I’m good at pays.
The irony of pointing this out when there is literally one less hour of the weekend this weekend…
c/USdefaultism
Not in my country :)
Stare at a clock for 2 minutes. Genuinely. I find it helps reset my perception of time
I would say meditation could be helpful. Being present in the moment instead of looking forward prevents that creeping dread. Likewise planning things you want to do like hanging out with friends, going to shows/movies, and group activities will probably have you focused on those on those instead of starting your week
Quit your job.
Though this solution will cause other problems, you probably won’t care about how many hours are left in the weekend anymore.
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When I had that, I solved it by changing jobs. I loved my job, but everyone was stupid about work live balance and stress management. I realized after I changed that I really should have changed jobs sooner.
Can’t say I have large issues with my job tbh. It’s fine. I sometimes even enjoy it. But yeah, I’d rather not have a job at all if the world was made like that.
That’s good!
Another thing I do is to make plans for Sunday night. Then when I look ahead to the end of the weekend, I have my Sunday night plans to look forward to, and not just work on Monday ahead.
I don’t have an answer for you, but I can absolutely relate. Some people say something like “find a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” But for me, it doesn’t work that way. I like my job, have awesome coworkers, and always look forward to the next week. But obviously I’d still rather be doing things I enjoy more. You know, playing that latest video game, finally finishing the Lego set I bought three months ago, hanging out with friends, etc. Two days out of seven just isn’t enough time to do all that, which leads to anxiety about optimizing the little time I have.
One thing that has helped me somewhat (and I know I’m very privileged to be able to do this) is taking every other Friday off. A two-day weekend versus a three-day weekend makes a huge difference for me. I’m actually considering switching to having every Friday off. But then ofc, there might be the dilemma of having the time to do the things I enjoy but not enough money for them :(
Yes, fully agreed! Yeah at the moment I need to save money, but working less, like 80% seems like a great thing. If one works 80% then one can rotate the days so every other week is a 4-day weekend. Luckily I have no co-dependants at least
Slipping into a nice K-hole.
Choose something else to worry about.
For example: I worry about the ever-decreasing time limit on life: Death
Problem solved, now I have a new problem.
🙃
You should try to min-max your weekend but instead shift what your expectations are for the min-max. Planning ahead of the weekend is good to reduce anxiety over what you are doing at each minute of the weekend. You plan it out and stick to it. If something comes up that fucks the plan up, then simply it was just not meant to be. Do plan out moments where you are resting too, because if you are planning to do tasks, then you should plan when there is a clear time to rest. Usually tasks happen between times of rest. So plan those rest times accordingly, as those are the only moments when your body can repair and do what it needs to do to keep you healthy. Good luck
I do but I’m not sure what to do about it. My parents had a birthday party for my brother yesterday and told me to be there at 11. No one else showed up til 3 so I ended up cutting my workout short to make it on time and then wasting 4 hours watching cable news with them. I was really fucking POed all night and no one could understand why. I only have 2 days off a week and you just wasted one of them assholes.
I would find out the ‘true’ reason why you feel this anxiety.
You say its because of min-maxing, but why do you want to do this? Do you have a lot of activities that you do on the weekend, do you feel rushed, do you feel a lack of control, etc.?
We all have this anxiety in life, some longer than others. For me, I felt like I had little control of my life, so I focused on that and now I feel fine of the weekends. Of course I want them longer, but I manage.
Also, try deliberately ‘living in the moment’ more actively. Go outside and take a 15 min walk. What do you notice in the walk? How is the weather? Did you neighbor finally clean up that trash on the side of his door? Is the park busy? etc. During your walk act like a detective and soak in all the activities and information around you.
Might help you ‘feel more grounded’.
quit your job and chill for 2 years and discover a new type of depression
Make every day count
