There are two kinds of meetings: decision meetings and update meetings. Update meetings are bullshit time sinks designed to validate the complete chain of command. Decision meetings are where something tangible is determined.
The former is the vast bulk of meetings. The latter is a rarity, and sometimes only possible after fully satiating the beast that is the former.
So your PM is useless too? I feel like updates can be useful if others then go and help each other out with things.
Scrum is just something I have to endure in order to get paid to program. The worst is when you’re working on something hard and your status hasn’t changed substantially from the previous day. “I did a bunch of things that didn’t pan out, so I only really have an expanding list of things that are not the problem. No, assigning someone to help me is unlikely to resolve the issue faster.”
At least you’re getting assigned a human. My boss’ new habit is to print out what chatGTP thinks about the problem I’m working on, if i take too long solving it…
Ohhh I got that too recently!
ouch, that is a hell that may one day await us all.
I wonder if the boss will be replaced by the machine entirely by then
My boss does this constantly and it has never once helped. Infuriating.
Yeah that sounds awful. Fortunately corporate policies prohibit putting our technical data into AIs.
“no, having a meeting about it won’t help, it will just waste my time that I could be using to figure out the problem.”
I had a manager years ago who viewed his involvement in problem-solving as a variant of the rubber duck solution. I always wanted to tell him to his face that he was accurate, in the sense that he brought about as much to the table as an actual rubber duck.
Guess I’m a programmer
You use Lemmy, that’s something at least
We’re all in the development hell pipeline over here…
/s
I like my team. I don’t mind meetings
You can not come in here with your nice colleagues and reasonable work experience. I guess it is a big corp vs small company experience.
Sysadmins too
At some point in the future, someone will understand what I mean by “I haven’t had enough time between meeting to read the necessary materials” because I can’t learn shit from verbal discussion.
If that ever actually happens, i firmly believe I will get more time to actually do work too.
It’s an attempt to get a handle on things and trying to avoid situations such as:
“Oh, I was struck on that point for the last 3 months. I reinvented the wheel 2 times and now it works.”
“And now we’re 3 months behind schedule. Why didn’t you ask anybody?”
“Yeah, I didn’t want to bother anyone. But I did put in on the timesheets.”
“It says ‘working on project’.”
And that’s how regular project update meetings get scheduled, and a bunch of messages asking for updates.
Well, at least they can see the baby steps that way I guess.
But I’ve always wondered if I’m actually terrible at my job or if PMPs, Scrum Masters, Management, etc, can’t actually fathom that I have absolutely no way to roughly estimate how long something can possibly take that ive never done before, and I have no evidence someone else has done it before.
When I was younger I got so frustrated with it I asked if anyone else on the team wanted to do it instead, and there was a resounding no, but it’s feasible so you should keep at it. And eventually I get it working but the whole time it’s demoralizing with the amount of “why are you not done?”
And now I just give the exact details that goes straight over everyone’s heads anyway and ask if they need me to switch my priorities.
Well, often they know it´s hard to estimate, but the entire corporate system is built around having things done by a certain date, your time costs money and payments are usually linked to those dates. They don´t really have a choice but to make a planning based on the estimates you give and monitor the progress so they can give the proper level of panic to their bosses. Of course, software has always been a disaster with estimates and attempts to tame the chaos haven´t been that successful.
I usually make a ridiculously detailed list of all tasks. ¨Add button A on screen. Discuss details: 2 hours. Interface work: 0.5 hour. Code work: 2 hours. Database work: 2 hours. Testing: 2 hours. FAT: 2 hours. Changes after FAT: 1 hour. SAT: 2 hour. Test script: 1 hour. Update documentation: 2 hours. Add button B … ¨ Put it all in an excel sheet and summarize. Most PMs don´t even want to start arguing a list like that, and it seems to make a reasonably good estimate for me.
No. If you need babysitting you have the wrong guy
Making programmers attend meetings should be considered a hate crime.
Which is worse: forcing a programmer to attend daily meetings, or forcing them to work in an “open plan” office? If I had to choose one or the other, I would choose to go work on a garbage truck.
Forcing programmers into an office at all should be enough to get a manager dragged before the ICJ on charges of crimes against humanity
but the collaboration!
Ah, the collaboration of millionaire fuckheads making the rest of us suffer. How ever will they be able to afford their private jet to Dubai?
A daft conversation interrupting your stressed out mind might inspire new and creative solutions though. Like a mountain cabin with a well stocked pantry.
yes luigi them
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Here here!
I love meetings about the general idea and concept of a project that takeip the “doing” timeof the single person that will do the work.
I just don’t understand why they apologize.
They could probably write “You’re welcome.” and get a bunch of thank yous back.
I just don’t go the meetings, if they actually need me my boss send me a DM asking me to enter, otherwise she just tell me what I need to know. Only when she can’t participate on the meetings she ask me to enter and told her if they talked about something relevant for us.
Tag teaming that shit like wrestlers.
Fuck you and your idea of productivity. Just because your job is reporting on the status of other people’s hard work doesn’t mean that’s how to get shit done - by talking. It takes doing to do shit.
One of the first things my new boss did was to cancel the daily standup meetings that were enforced by the previous management. God, what a great decision. I’m finally getting shit done instead of having to talk and endure bullshit every day.
I call it the numbing hour. It’s only scheduled as a half hour but it always runs for nearly an hour. I never speak for more than two minutes, I just stand there as my motivation to do literally anything for the rest of the day burns down to zero. Sometimes I wake up 110% motivated with a list of stuff I can’t wait to get done, fortunately the numbing hour is first thing everyday ensuring that I am always fully neutralized.
At least you have until the end of the day to (try to) regain some motivation. My daily is currently at the 10am. Smack dab in the middle of the morning.
test
Don’t forget to test for lizards.
passed
Test
TEST
TESTS
That’s okay, we can reschedule the 1 of the 60 TFCV meetings about theupcoming 5 TPS meetings, that so we can be prepared for the 2 SMR meetings in 3 and 4 months, which is needed for the the BRM meeting in 6 months. Then we’ll see if anything is decided at the BRM meeting. If not we’ll repeat the meeting schedule for the foreseeable future.
