- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
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Bidets are amazing. If you don’t have one you should go buy one, they start fairly low priced
Paid $50 for mine like 7 years ago. Is it fancy? Heck no. Does it clean my butt real good? Heck yes.
When I can afford a fancy heated, air drying bidet that will be my goalpost of success.
I started with a $30 cheapo 10 years ago and it was life changing. Last year I got a stupid expensive one. Like, has a night light, auto flush (because I got the matching toilet), auto lid, heated seat, heated water, deodorizer, wireless remote, etc. (Toto S7A)
Just so you’re prepared, the air dry doesn’t fully replace the pat dry entirely unless you’re gonna sit there for a good long time.
That said, I have no regrets.
Just so you’re prepared, the air dry doesn’t fully replace the pat dry entirely unless you’re gonna sit there for a good long time.
I just shake my ass off like a dog coming in out of the rain
I honestly got used to the regular temp one. So much so that when I moved and the new house came with the fancier bidet, I just ended up using regular water every time.
You can find a decent one with heated seat/water/fan for not much more than that. I spent a bit over 100$ for mine, and I love it. We had to RMA it within 6 months because the heater died, but it’s been rocking for like 1.5 years since then without issue.
Worth every penny. Especially in the middle of winter.
I read Biden 😢
Skibidi Biden
Installed one for my wife when she moved it, never used it. At this point I’ve forgotten it’s even there. Talk about old habits dying hard.
“Hey, if some caked-up mud pie got on your face, would you just wipe it off with a dry piece of tissue and call it a day? No! You’d wash it. So why is your butthole any different?” - Detective Allen Gamble, ‘The Other Guys’
My butthole is very different from my face and I hope that is true for everyone else as well
Lip skin is the same as butthole skin
Be kind
Bidet and wipe
By butthole is nowhere near my taste buds and designed to pump out fecal matter. Other than my lips. Bidets are cool but I if there isn’t one that’s not a problem.
Different enough that you don’t mind having shit smeared all around it?
Different enough that I’m fine with thoroughly wiping my ass. That’s hardly “having shit smeared all around”. I’m regularly under the shower and that’s good enough for me.
Am
I am
Yes.
I got onboard the bidet train during the Covid lockdown. Simple to add on at my apartment. It was my #1 request when I moved to my GF’s house. We replaced the whole toilet with the upgrades.
Yup. Same. Feels way better. It’s just like taking a shower after every dump.
Yay, bidet!
It took one of my partners having surgery before they agreed to let me install a bidet. Never have I been so happy to strut around and say “I told you so” once they both tried it and realized bidets are awesome.
Once you go bidet, you’ll have a happy day.
I love spraying flecks of poo all over the handle so the next guy touches my poo flecks, very euro sanitary
How would you even manage to do that?
When you spray your asshole with a high pressure stream of water it sends flecks of poo into the air
No it doesn’t.
Then why is my whole bathroom covered in a fine layer of poo flecks? Checkmate
Because you’re standing up while you use it, for some reason.
I squat on top of the seat like everyone else
So you were already doomed to splashback, what’s a little brown mist in the mix?
That’s why you don’t use 100% pressure from the beginning. You ease into it.
Also, your 're sitting down so your butt is literally covering the water from getting splashed in the air.
Ew its a bidet, not an enema dude
Not with that attitude, it isn’t.
Skill issue.
24/7, Orchard fresh, my dude. I’ve OPTIONS.
Stop kidding yourself
Missed opportunity on “Stop skidding yourself”.
I went to paper high school, then baby wipes college. Let me know when you get your PhD from bidet university, then we’ll talk.
🤣 Damn. I had to upvote this one.
Amateur hour.
I got something like this for like 15 euros from a German shop but I’m sure you’ll find it everywhere. I payed a little extra for stainless-steel instead of plastic. It’s still incredibly cheap and my family uses it daily for years. I don’t need any more luxury.
This is the kind I have, and I will never not have one again.
I think this is better than whats mounted into the toilet, because well sooner or later you get one of those days when shit flies everywhere and then enjoy cleaning the nozzle, meanwhile these things are usually just attached to the side of the toilet pr to the wall and no danger of it getting shit on barring extreme circumstances
Lol, maybe in a shit (pun intended) bidet. Mine is mounted under the toilet seat and self cleans before and after spraying. Also, I can have it set to hit my butthole instead of trying to plains aim and spraying water and shit where it doesn’t need to be.
Plus, mine has heated water, so I don’t feel like I’m gonna get frostbite on my butthole in the dead of winter.
Even the cheap ones have a self clean setting. It just sprays water down the nozzle, and is between on and off. Turn it to that for a second and then off. Never had an issue. When I clean the toilet I use the same brush to glance over it, but really it stays clean on its own
If it’s tapped directly into the ice cold water line that sounds terrible. Gotta save up and spring for ceramic instant water heating.
Nah, it’s great, seriously. Saves me a cup of coffee in the morning. :)
Plastic doesn’t rust, sometimes it’s better. Even better if it let’s you adjust the spray width.
Well you could hire a maid, and they pour toilet bowl cleaner onto it. Even after you told them not to. Now the plastic is eaten away, and you have to replace it.
Why are you using a French dude in the pictures when everyone knows they don’t use bidets?
Anyone got bidets to recommend (full toilets or kit to install on top of current toilets)?
I feel like most are really expensive and I wouldn’t want to waste money on something too expensive or something bad
I got an $80 one from Home Depot. And it was the second best purchase i have made. It really didn’t have to be expensive… but i did try to buy one on Amazon… and it was designed to fail, so i recommend just going to get one at a store
I’ve had this for a year and no issues. Takes 5 mins to install and anyone can do it. $35 after tax. I think I got it for 27 or something last year. If you don’t like it after a while, you’re not out much. But Ive saved more than $35 in toilet paper since I’ve got it
Maybe that ones fancier, idk
I got a Brondell bidet from Costco for like $80. It’s just the seat and it’s pretty fancy slick with how it self cleans and hides/reveals itself while having no electricity going on. Just have to make sure that if you want hot water you’ll have to connect it to the sink waterline. I didn’t do that and the cold wasn’t a problem after a few uses getting comfortable.
Worst case just return it if you don’t like it.
I got my Brondell bidet from Amazon and it cost $20.
Mine for reference: https://www.costco.ca/brondell-swash-cl99-non-electric-bidet-toilet-seat.product.100595924.html They raised the price :(
Clean butt club!
So, maybe I’m missing something here, but bidets don’t seem all that great? Everyone on the internet is always proclaiming life changing experiences with these things. However, when I recently used them they don’t seem to do very much. My butthole is still poopy and when I wipe to dry my ass the toilet paper tears.
I was like you a few years ago.
The crappy ones feel like that.
Then I sat on a fancy one that sang me a lullaby and gave me positive encouragement as I pooped. My god, my entire butthole is so fresh.
I now understand.
Operator error.
Clearly needs more hydro pressure
You need to use the power washer setting. Takes the paint right off the wall…
Some are better than others in both power and nozzle angle/placement. Sometimes you have to shimmy to get the angle just right if the power is low. It should result in a wipe in which no fecal matter remains, only wetness, if executed properly.
Exactly. There’s a learning curve but once you’ve got it, you dread wipe only bathrooms. Installed a bidet on one of my toilets six months ago and now that’s the only toilet anybody in the house poops in unless it’s already occupied.
Low water pressure maybe? Mines a real cheap one and I’ve never had issues with not being clean after. I do usually get stronger toilet paper, but I only use a roll or two a month. I wouldn’t say it’s life changing, but I do prefer it. Also has saved me a lot on tp
Yes and also mine takes 30+ seconds to properly clean so make sure you take your time.
I like to waggle my butt in the stream to make sure I get everything clean.
I was literally getting my ass sprayed when I opened this meme.
Check out this dude/dudette, having sex while on the internet!
